Open Letter: Why Does God Hate Me?

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I received a very touching email from a loyal reader which literally had me in tears. What’s sad is…we get a LOT of emails just like this one! So this time I asked our reader if it was okay to do an open letter (as long as I promised to keep her anonymous).

XXXXX writes:

Hi my name is XXXXXX . I love your blogs and your tweets but I’m having a hard time believing anything you say or tweet. Not calling you a liar, but lately I havent been feeling like faith is enough. i consider myself to be a woman of God but I don’t understand why God would allow me to go through so much pain, heartache, and struggle. Where should I begin? umm let’s see:

2 years ago my husband became very ill and passed away suddenly. Turned out he was was living a double life on the down low and had contracted HIV. After learning about this, I decided to go get tested and I tested positive as well. We have two kids together. My oldest did not contract the virus, but my youngest did. A couple of months after that, my mom passed away. She was my best friend. Oh and did I mention every friend that I thought I had has disappeared. I lost my job, health insurance, home, and about to lose my mind. I’m beginning to think God hates me. I read your tweets/ blog and say to myself  “How can I stay positive when God allows things like this to happen?”  You probably don’t even believe some of the things you tweet yourself. But then again It’s easy for someone who has a decent life to be grateful. But answer me this… If you had my life, “would you be grateful?”

————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Hi XXXXXX , My heart really goes out to you and your family. I know it was hard for you to open up to me, so I’ll open up to you!

For starters , I wasn’t always the encouraging person I am today. In fact, it was my past situations, trials, and tribulations  that made me the person ,I am today. Reading your letter I couldn’t help but cry because I used to be you! Our stories are way too similar. No, I don’t have HIV. But I know what it’s like to wonder if God hates you. Years ago, I went through a divorce, I lost my mom, job, I was homeless, Not knowing how I was going to feed my child. Oh and friends? Chile please…. friends are the first to go when you’re down and out. BUT, that’s the way God wants it to be. He wants you to depend on HIM, Not friends. Back then I wasn’t saved, so I didn’t know much about scriptures. But this one bible verse  changed my life  1 Peter 1:6- “So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. ”

After reading that verse, I decided I had tried it my way (for 2 years) but my life continued to spiral downhill, So I decided to do things God way. I started praising Him for EVERYTHING!  I was thankful that my child and myself was able to sleep on a family members couch instead of having to sleep in my car OR on the street. I was praising Him for food that I didn’t even like, but had to eat because it was all I could afford. My bucket would break down once a month, But guess what? I never complained, I was praising God it was $150 to fix instead of $1,500.  The more I stayed in that word, The more things started to shift. The more I started to praise Him for the little bit I had, the more He gave me.

So trust me when I tell you, EVERYTHING  I tweet/ blog about is real. I can care less about how many re-tweets I get. BUT when someone email, tweet, or message me just to say… They were about to give up, but my message encouraged them to keep going, That makes it all worthwhile. I do it because I remember where I came from. I asked God to use me to encourage others who are where I used to be.

I’m not downplaying your condition, BUT HIV is not a death sentence. You can live a long healthy life with  HIV and outlive someone who doesn’t have HIV. Don’t stop living your life because you’re just waiting to die. Maybe you should think about using your condition  to encourage others who are having a hard time dealing with HIV and thinking about giving up. Ask God to use you  for His Glory and He’ll order your steps. And to answer your question… Yes, I would still be grateful if I had your life. You should too. You should be grateful everyday you wake up because somebody somewhere, DIDN’T!

God Bless you! You are definitely in my prayers.

56 Comments

  1. Open Letter: Why Does God Hate Me? http://t.co/egegnqgd

    • Sally Mae

      February 3, 2014 at 5:52 pm

      I know you mean well but this woman has some significant problems that cannot be solved by just being grateful. It is an abusive form of Christianity to just say go read a scripture & all is well. This woman needs some tangible help, not trite Christian sayings.

    • Very Tired

      April 20, 2014 at 2:53 am

      My downturn has been for over 11 years. In that time I lost my house my career, my friends, got to spend little time with my only child who my ex has now turned against me and I don’t see at all. And in that time I took care of my sick and aging parents. I did good things, and also avoided fights and drama so that my daughter would not suffer.

      And I was not mad. I was hopeful for MANY years. I was confident that choosing the high road and doing good would pay dividends with God. I feel God has ignored me, while liars have prospered. I am like, why you gotta do me this way God? You can’t even throw me a bone. Just more and more and more to push me down. Ignored, abandoned. I HAVE been turning to God from the start. Over 11 years. This is BS.

      • Cherise

        September 7, 2014 at 6:18 pm

        I too agree, it seems God has chosen people whom he keep his precious love for. I’ve been down and spinning my wheels for years. When I turn to God for answers I receive curses. When I pray, they just hit the ceiling, When I need God the most in my life…He has deliberately denied me as far as I can remember. Finally, love? That is a complete joke in trying to understand. I agree as long as those that seem to have much to be grateful for can praise him. When I awake everyday, I’m constantly faced with more misery then I did before. I’m in so much pain and agony, that living is unbearable.

  2. @Ladee_Rae

    May 8, 2012 at 1:15 am

    God is amazing! So touching.. RT @ThePrayingWoman: Open Letter: Why Does God Hate Me? http://t.co/D2sOwWvD

  3. @Simply_Lis

    May 8, 2012 at 1:30 am

    Aww, I hope she gets encouraged from your awesome testimony. ;) “@ThePrayingWoman: Open Letter: Why Does God Hate Me? http://t.co/HkhE4w6W

  4. @almon_dee

    May 8, 2012 at 1:46 am

    That was truly moving!!! RT @ThePrayingWoman: Open Letter: Why Does God Hate Me? http://t.co/4QyMq4sg

  5. @gettes1

    May 8, 2012 at 1:55 am

    Open Letter: Why Does God Hate Me? http://t.co/pH1H09ZY via @theprayingwoman

  6. ♥Kimberly♥ (@k_aLLyN)

    May 12, 2012 at 2:19 am

    Open Letter: Why Does God Hate Me? http://t.co/LMmYFso8 via @theprayingwoman

  7. Angelle Zachery (@QueenAngelle)

    May 30, 2012 at 11:06 am

    Y’all should definitely read this!

    “@ThePrayingWoman: Open Letter: Why Does God Hate Me? http://t.co/BhFuNwpK”

  8. We are freed

    September 7, 2012 at 12:25 am

    I have had difficulty seeing why I’ve had some of the sufferings in my life. It changed my perspective when I realized God’s son, Jesus, was hated by some men, rejected by many, beaten, mocked, and killed. If Jesus, who could do no wrong, and was acknowledged as beloved by God (at His baptism), if Jesus could suffer through so much as the beloved, then maybe God does not hate me when He lets me suffer. Maybe suffering is an unfortunate but a not always avoidable part of life on Earth. Just like Jesus though, whether you feel it or not God is not going to let you suffer I have had difficulty seeing why I’ve had some of the sufferings in my life. It changed my perspective when I realized God’s son, Jesus, was hated by some men, rejected by many, beaten, mocked, and killed. If Jesus, who could do no wrong, and was acknowledged as beloved by God (at His baptism), if Jesus could suffer through so much as the beloved, then maybe God does not hate me when He lets me suffer. Maybe suffering is an unfortunate but a not always avoidable part of life on Earth. Just like Jesus though, whether you feel it or not God is not going to let you suffer without some permanent resurrection over your pain. That’s because God actually loves us, after all.

  9. We are freed

    September 7, 2012 at 12:34 am

    Oh man! Very sorry about my messy last post – I accidentally cut and pasted wrong. Here’s the real thing:
    I have had difficulty seeing why I’ve had some of the sufferings in my life. It changed my perspective when I realized God’s son, Jesus, was hated by some men, rejected by many, beaten, mocked, and killed. If Jesus, who could do no wrong, and was acknowledged as beloved by God (at His baptism), if Jesus could suffer through so much as the beloved, then maybe God does not hate me when He lets me suffer. Maybe suffering is an unfortunate but a not always avoidable part of life on Earth. Just like Jesus though, whether you feel it or not God is not going to let you suffer without some permanent resurrection over your pain. That’s because God actually loves us, after all.

  10. hated 1

    September 17, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    IV TRIED PRAYING BEGGING GOD TO HELP ME OR AT LEAST LET ME DIE BUT HE DOES NEITHER, IVE BEEN AT DEATHS DOOR AND INSTEAD HE SNATCHED ME UP BY MY HAIR & DRAGGED ME BACK TO THIS HELL I CALL LIFE SO THAT MY KIDS COULD BE TAKEN, EVERY BONE IN MY FACE COULD BE BEATEN & CRUSHED IN, EVERY TOOTH IN MY HEAD COULD BE KNOCKED OUT ECT. & ALL AT THE HANDS OF PEOPLE I DESPERATELY LOVED ! IVE TRIED TIME & TIME AGAIN BEGGING & PLEADINGWITH HIM TO PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME & IF FOR WHATEVER REASON HE DIDNT SEE FIT THEN AT THE VERY LEAST TELL ME WHY HE HATES ME SOO BUT AGAIN NOTHING ! I HAVENT EVEN SEEN MY KIDS IN WELL OVER A YEAR I HONESTLY BELIEVE HE ONLY GAVE THEM TO ME TO HAVE SOMETHING TO TAKE AWAY FROM ME WHY CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY HE HATES ME SO MUCH PLEASE ?

    • Angela Warren

      February 14, 2014 at 5:18 pm

      Dear ‘Hated One, I got to read your post here because I asked Siri , the all knowing life guru , “Why does God Hated me, Siri?” She then
      directed me to several sites but this
      one in particular stood out above all others.
      I have NO valid reason as to why a God who professes to love us , allows us to suffer as you and your kids have suffered. It disgusts me that you have went through this hell … YOU DONT DESERVE IT !!! I DONT KNOW YOU , BUT DAMN GIRL … I WOULD LOVE TO BE 1/10 AS STRONG AS YOU.
      I don’t have any cute , sweet , answers for you . You’re smart enough to know the kind of people who give those , for most part haven’t suffered much in life. You, my lady, have suffered …. and for what it’s worth , I am so very and truly sorry . You don’t know this .. you couldn’t see it back when you wrote this , but I hope that 6 months later you are still here on this planet. Your story inspired me, because I , too am hated … I feel a little less so now that I read your story and saw pain through another’s eyes and stopped focusing only upon myself . There’s something about you girl… you reached me, and that’s hard to do .

  11. hated 1

    September 17, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    IV TRIED PRAYING BEGGING GOD TO HELP ME OR AT LEAST LET ME DIE BUT HE DOES NEITHER, IVE BEEN AT DEATHS DOOR AND INSTEAD HE SNATCHED ME UP BY MY HAIR & DRAGGED ME BACK TO THIS HELL I CALL LIFE SO THAT MY KIDS COULD BE TAKEN, EVERY BONE IN MY FACE COULD BE BEATEN & CRUSHED IN, EVERY TOOTH IN MY HEAD COULD BE KNOCKED OUT ECT. & ALL AT THE HANDS OF PEOPLE I DESPERATELY LOVED ! IVE TRIED TIME & TIME AGAIN BEGGING & PLEADINGWITH HIM TO PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME & IF FOR WHATEVER REASON HE DIDNT SEE FIT THEN AT THE VERY LEAST TELL ME WHY HE HATES ME SOO BUT AGAIN NOTHING ! I HAVENT EVEN SEEN MY KIDS IN WELL OVER A YEAR I HONESTLY BELIEVE HE ONLY GAVE THEM TO ME TO HAVE SOMETHING TO TAKE AWAY FROM ME WHY CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY HE HATES ME SO MUCH PLEASE ?

    • Grace

      February 5, 2013 at 10:47 pm

      Dear sister,
      I am so sorry for the unspeakable physical, emotional, mental and spiritual pain you have and are enduring. You don’t know me but please know that I am praying for you right now and will each time you come to mind in the hours, days and weeks ahead. I am praying that He will comfort you, guide you and restore you. Love, a sister

    • Mel

      April 14, 2013 at 4:50 am

      Fear not, walk with your head held high after all you are the son or the daughter of god. No matter what problems big or small just test our faith… Say thank you upon waking and before bed… He loves and watches us all but needs us to work a little for it. Hang in there and just believe, life always gives us all a rainbow eventually. Mel xxx

  12. Anne

    September 23, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    hated1
    God loves you! I know it is hard to believe at this point, but he does. I would call this number and speak with someone 800-799-7233. It is the National Abuse Hotline.

  13. John

    September 25, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    Ive read and listened to all the topics on here and so many hate and sone love got but how can u have faith when realisticly so much devistation is happening all over the world and why did he make others rich and others poor and its not god its us as people who define who lives and dies at the end of the day because so much money is waisted on shit but the rich always seem to benefit and make the poor suffer doesnt matter where ur from or what ur beliefs are life is shit if ur poor because rich people feed from the poor and poor is the avarage person fact so does god love me maybe maybe not only way ill ever find out is when i die same as everyone else but as for u that sits a prays everyday thanking him for the things u have tried it and my life aint changed still i. The same shot life i started with and sorry to hear that u cought hiv from ur ex husband life will change if u want it to sitting there and feeling sorry for yrself aint going to help u motivate urself and keep ur secret to urself and im sure when u find true friends an tell them they will stick by you but u have ur kids and they will always be there no matter what happens but i hope u find a better liffe for urself and thinks work out for you but do t listen to the things you hear on this as its how u make it happen set urself a goal and work on it and u will see life change for urself ok

  14. Misato

    October 20, 2012 at 7:55 am

    I can sympathize with Dreana.
    I also feel that god hates me. Like Dreana, part of it is because I lost loved ones dear to me. My most painful loss was that of my husband. He was killed in a car accident 28 years ago.

    As if that loss wasn’t bad enough, I also obtained health problems not long after. This in turn caused me to lose a good career. I had to move to get work, which didn’t last long, and the move cost me all the friends I had made, and I have none where I am at now.

    It’s just one big stretch of life filled with one bad thing after another for me. And no, there are no good times in between like a lot of people think there are. Natural occurances would have both bad and good happenings, so I am left thinking that my going through constant hell has to be by design.

    And yes, I have asked god to be part of my life. I have asked god to steer me in the direction he wants me to go. Other christians always say crap like “you will have a good life if you give yourself to god”. Well, I have tried, but obviously that isn’t the case.

    God doesn’t want me. God either hates me or just doesn’t give a rat’s you-know-what about me. It’s probably that he hates me since he seems to make it a point to make me suffer constantly.

    And people in hell. He hates me even more than most or all of those. He has to. He’s sent me to hell even before waiting until my physical being expires.

    Since I am totally clueless as to what I could have possibly done to have deserved damnation already, I was wondering is anyone would know what it is that makes god this angry with someone, or how can a person who has tried constantly to allow god into my life and still goes through hell, start being blessed by god instead of damned by him ( or her, for the politically correct feminists ).

    • Grace

      February 5, 2013 at 11:04 pm

      This separation from the love and grace of God, from His comfort and peace is the worst thing. When you know in your heart that you have faithfully chosen not to rest on your own understanding, but to trust in Him and after seeking Him and praising Him your path has led into an avalanche of abuse, deceit, abandonment and heartbreaking loss and the world blesses and welcomes your tormentors you are rejected and ridiculed. And still you choose to praise Him. You discover that you have weeks to live. And still you choose to praise Him. You have nowhere on earth. You hold tight to His promise that He has prepared a place for you in Heaven. And that is all you have and it is more than enough.

    • Cherise

      September 7, 2014 at 6:30 pm

      I agree, our lives were designed before we were born. God already knew what we were going to face before we face it. Even though, you Chose God and pray for a better way (His way). Plans fail tremendously! I’m a living Christian witness of this. It truly appears that the life you life is not so much by choice but designed. The funny thing is people that have better designs or change from their will to God will seems to work for them. This does not apply for everyone! Again, personal witness of this. All I ever receive in my life is lack love, abuse, loneliness, homelessness, lost jobs…etc. No MATTER how hard I try to convince myself to seek the will of God. It will, and always been this road from the time I was a born again Christian. Do I still suppose to seek his word when it doesn’t work in my life?

  15. Sharon

    November 13, 2012 at 2:09 am

    I was searching for some unrelated information on the inet when l “just so happend” to see the link to this question and since I do not believe in coincides,
    I truly believe that Lord led me here.

    For the past few years, I have also been going thru a very difficult time in my life and can tell you, I haven’t always handled it in the best way ,so I understand your struggles. But I didn’t come here to talk about myself.
    There is a very common misconception that if bad things happen to us that God is angry with us or He does not love or care. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
    When Jesus Christ, the sinless Son of God came to this Earth to pay the ultimate sacrifice on the cross for my sins, your sins-the sins of the whole world, He chose to begin his Earthly ministry not among the rich and well to do, or the high ranking pious holier than thou ministers and priests of that time period. He chose to start it with the sick, the dying, the poor, the prostitutes and the lowly of heart. Does this mean He doesn’t also love the rich and the high minded?
    No, not at all, but in His infinite wisdom He knew that their hearts were filled with power, greed and pride that they would not listen to His words because they would have to admit that they also were sinners.
    There is only one thing that God hates and that is sin and He will not allow it in His presence.
    Lucifer better known as Satan used to be the covering angel for the throne of God but he rebelled, he wanted to be God, he didnt want to be under Gods authority so he was cast out of heaven along with 1/3 of the other angels that also rebelled. God does not hate you but Satan does. The Lake of fire was originality the punishment for him and his fellow cohorts. Hell was never intended for a place for us.
    Now Adam and Eve had everything they needed. God provided all. They only had one rule, God allowed them to eat of any other tree in the garden except one. Angels do not have the choice of free will, but we do. He hated this fact and hated Gods new creation and he also knew what his fate was he lured Eve very subtly I might add, to eat fruit from the one and only tree that was forbidden, and she brought some to Adam. God is Holy and again can not have sin in his presence so here in lay the problem.
    When Adam and Eve disobeyed, there sin broke the relationship between them and God, (spiritual death) and had to be cast out of the Garden, and now have to experience physical death as well. All sin east passed down from generation to generation.
    This does not mean that God hates us.
    We have been so programed from youth , that if we do something bad that God is going to drop kick us off of the planet.
    Case in point, when I was a little girl, I was terrified of anyone dressed up in a Santa suit. (incidentally if you rearrange the letters in his name it spells Satan).
    Have you listened to the words to the song Santa clause is commimg to town? I was not excited in the least bit to have some rolly polly dude that could see . me while I was sleeping, climb down my chimny with a nap sack on his back that threated me to be good or else! In the book of Romans 6 vs 22, the Bible tells us: For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. God sent his sinless son to take the penalty for our sins, and rose from the grave fully alive to show that physical death and spiritual death was conquered. Only a God who loves us dearly would do that. His love for us is without measure.
    The Bible also says: l (Jesus) am the way, the truth and the life: no man cometh to the Father but by Me.

    There is nothing we can do to save ourselves,

    But God commendeth (to show, prove, to establish) his love toward us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. Romans 5 vs 8.

    Hurt, pain and suffering, these things are not caused by God, they are the result of sin. But God gives us the choice.
    Gods plan is very simple:

    1. Realize that we are sinners and and that there is nothing we can do to save ourselves.
    2. Believe that God sent his only Son Jesus, to die on the cross to take the penalty for our sins, through His death, burial, and resurrection from the dead, to save us from our sin.
    3. Ask Him to save you. And He will!
    It is just that simple! Nothing .

    The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count salackness but is long suffering to us-ward, not willing that ANY should perish, but that ALL should come to repentance. 2nd Peter , 3 :9.

    Wonderful the matchless grace of Jesus , greater than all my sin. How shall my tongue describe it ,where shall my praise begin? Taking away my burden , setting my spirit free.
    For the wonderful grace of Jesus, reaches me.

  16. lost again

    November 13, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    I have also had many horrible things happen to me, more than anything I’ve read here, and much more serious consequences. My whole life I was bullied, treated like an idiot, my parents went bankrupt when I was growing up, we had very little money.

    I thought I’d escaped all that when I married an american (I’m australian) guy I had known for 7 years, and moved to the US. My husband is smart and well educated, I gave up a prodigy position at a university to get married and move to the US. I was young, and didn’t know much about US society. I was treated poorly in the US, told I was taking americans jobs, accused of witchcraft one day by a neighbor, why I am still wondering…

    I have no family or friends here, I was treated poorly during the birth of my first child as the nurses thought I’d already had a child. I accepted thier treatment as I knew no better.

    My oldest child almost died from undiagnosed juvenile diabetes, and then my youngest child was diagnosed with Autism. and while all that was going on I was in college, working part time, and had a bad reconstructive surgery, that was supposed to have been a very simple final fix and turned into a nightmare (long story) and has left me traumatized and physically injured. The worst part of which, the doctor was probably on something, falsified records, and I ended up looking absolutely horrible to the point where people did not like to look at me out of courtesy (that is instead of staring) I looked 25-30 years older than my actual age. The worst part is, no one will believe what happened to me, even though I have proof with photos etc – I am a trained/degreed forensic investigator and criminologist (they would rather believe I am lying about my age or decided that I have ‘problem’ – I don’t, and its been proven also). Due to the stress I was under with all this, my hair turned dead white, and most of it has fallen out. I will wear a wig for the rest of my life. I also developed thyroid problems, caused simply due to stress.

    All that has stopped me from being able to work, I’ve lost my confidence, I have student loans to pay, I don’t have photos taken with my children or at all. My marriage has been badly effected, my husband and I were separated for over 3 years due to what had happened. My husband became very verbally abusive (all because of the surgeon and what he did, there is much more to this, but it long)

    My father died of cancer last year, I only had 3 weeks with him after I rushed home to see him and he passed much faster than any of us expected.

    Yes, my faith has crumbled, and I am holding on by a thread. I long to hear from God, I long to feel his presence again, I pray for him to heal me physically and emotionally, I’ve begged to die. I’ve been there, believe me.

    But I know God is real, I know he is there somewhere. God doesn’t want these things to happen to us. People injure other people, they hurt and maim. The evil one is there along the way to help with adverse plans people have. God tries to bring us closer to him as a result of these horrible things, he wants us to rely on him. That’s hard, of course, its hard. If it was easy, everyone would follow God instead of rejecting him.

  17. j.moli

    December 6, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    I truly believe that only jews have a god. I know they rest of us do not have it. I know i don’t have a god, only jews. thats the reason i clearly see why god conceded them wealth and money and they have the power of god to rule over us and treat ud like cattle. we are goyim for them, gentile, cattle, garbage, thats the reason i know god is bad and a perfect son of a BITCH.

    • KMH

      December 12, 2012 at 6:10 pm

      I always wondered why jews are so wealthy and successful in life but the crazy part is why were so many jews killed in the Holocaust? I don’t understand why God does what he does…

  18. j.moli

    December 6, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    ANYTHING BAD THAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST OR IN THE PRESENT OR THE FUTURE < I WILL STRONGLY BLAME gOD FOR IT.

  19. j.moli

    December 6, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    AH, and by the way, if somebody ever need my help, my life will be open to somebody that needs help, . I always been open and willing to help anybody who needs help and if that help is up to my possibilities. I swear that anybody can count on me and i always proved to myself that i am better than god. he is no help for people, for humanity. Problem is that people fear god and i don’t. anybody have a family member suffering, what? cancer, hurricanes, earthquates, rape … and where is god? AH???

  20. KMH

    December 12, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    Where is God when you really need him to protect you? I have gone thru so much in my 26 years of being alive, I could probably write a novel. I just want answers as to why God would punish an innocent child from birth??

    • Rose

      June 6, 2013 at 8:03 am

      You and me both my love. Only I have had 35 years of it.

  21. carissa

    December 13, 2012 at 5:07 am

    Hello friends I am Carissa from united state of America I want to tell everyone that I have found the real spell caster and that he have just helped me get my husband back to me and the kids. I met this spell through a friends description and he told me that he help him to get his wife back when another man took her from him and then I decided to try him out and I discover that he is the best and he is very powerful and just yesterday my husband whom I thought will never come back to me came and said to me that he was sorry for leaving me. I now so happy that my desires have been fulfilled. Thank to the priest of the ishvaratemple@yahoo.com he is so powerful

  22. Rivers

    January 5, 2013 at 3:47 am

    I was searching for some unrelated information on the inet when l “just so happend” to see the link to this question and since I do not believe in coincides,
    I truly believe that Lord led me here.

    For the past few years, I have also been going thru a very difficult time in my life and can tell you, I haven’t always handled it in the best way ,so I understand your struggles. But I didn’t come here to talk about myself.
    There is a very common misconception that if bad things happen to us that God is angry with us or He does not love or care. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
    When Jesus Christ, the sinless Son of God came to this Earth to pay the ultimate sacrifice on the cross for my sins, your sins-the sins of the whole world, He chose to begin his Earthly ministry not among the rich and well to do, or the high ranking pious holier than thou ministers and priests of that time period. He chose to start it with the sick, the dying, the poor, the prostitutes and the lowly of heart. Does this mean He doesn’t also love the rich and the high minded?
    No, not at all, but in His infinite wisdom He knew that their hearts were filled with power, greed and pride that they would not listen to His words because they would have to admit that they also were sinners.
    There is only one thing that God hates and that is sin and He will not allow it in His presence.
    Lucifer better known as Satan used to be the covering angel for the throne of God but he rebelled, he wanted to be God, he didnt want to be under Gods authority so he was cast out of heaven along with 1/3 of the other angels that also rebelled. God does not hate you but Satan does. The Lake of fire was originality the punishment for him and his fellow cohorts. Hell was never intended for a place for us.
    Now Adam and Eve had everything they needed. God provided all. They only had one rule, God allowed them to eat of any other tree in the garden except one. Angels do not have the choice of free will, but we do. Satan hated this fact and hated Gods new creation and he also knew what his fate was and wanted to pass that fate on to Adam and Eve. He lured Eve very subtly I might add, to eat fruit from the one and only tree that was forbidden, and she brought some to Adam. God is Holy and again can not have sin in his presence so here in lay the problem.
    When Adam and Eve disobeyed, thier sin broke the relationship between them and God, (spiritual death) and had to be cast out of the Garden, and now have to experience physical death as well. All sin was passed down from generation to generation.
    This does not mean that God hates us.
    We have been so programed from youth , that if we do something bad that God is going to drop kick us off of the planet.
    Case in point, when I was a little girl, I was terrified of anyone dressed up in a Santa suit. (incidentally if you rearrange the letters in his name it spells Satan).
    Have you listened to the words to the song Santa clause is commimg to town? I was not excited in the least bit to have some rolly polly dude that could see me while I was sleeping, climb down my chimny with a nap sack on his back that threated me to be good or else! In the book of Romans 6 vs 22, the Bible tells us: For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. God sent his sinless son to take the penalty for our sins, and rose from the grave fully alive to show that physical death and spiritual death was conquered. Only a God who loves us dearly would do that. His love for us is without measure.
    The Bible also says: l (Jesus) am the way, the truth and the life: no man cometh to the Father but by Me.

    There is nothing we can do to save ourselves,

    But God commendeth (to show, prove, to establish) his love toward us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. Romans 5 vs 8.

    Hurt, pain and suffering, these things are not caused by God, they are the result of sin. But God gives us the choice.
    Gods plan is very simple:

    1. Realize that we are sinners and and that there is nothing we can do to save ourselves.
    2. Believe that God sent his only Son Jesus, to die on the cross to take the penalty for our sins, through His death, burial, and resurrection from the dead, to save us from our sin.
    3. Ask Him to save you. And He will!
    It is just that simple! Nothing .

    The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness but is long suffering to us-ward, not willing that ANY should perish, but that ALL should come to repentance. 2nd Peter , 3 :9.

    Wonderful the matchless grace of Jesus , greater than all my sin. How shall my tongue describe it ,where shall my praise begin? Taking away my burden , setting my spirit free.
    For the wonderful grace of Jesus, reaches me.

  23. Larry

    January 8, 2013 at 10:57 am

    When you live in Christ your test become testomoneys. Its free will that causes our grief and faith in god that brings us through to encourage others.

  24. Mark

    March 18, 2013 at 5:29 pm

    well i certainly feel that he is punishing me from having a love life like so many very lucky men and women have, especially after having my wife of 15 years cheating on me. i was a very caring and loving husband that was very committed to her, knowing what i had at home and didn’t have to go out looking for it anymore. i hate going out all over again since many women nowadays are so very nasty to talk too, and many of them now are playing very hard to get. when you get to be a certain age like i am, it really hurts to know that i have to go out and deal with this mess all over again. it seems that God blesses certain men and women when it comes to meeting each other and having a love life, especially when they have a family. i am no different than they are, and what makes them so special? i certainly would have wanted a love life and family that they have too, instead of meeting the wrong women which i seem to be. i can’t blame myself since so many women today are nothing like the real good women that we had years ago, and it certainly was much more easier meeting them. my aunt and uncle are starting their 65th year together, and that just show you how God was very good to them. they met each other in school, and it was certainly meant to be for them. i always remind them how very lucky they were to have met one another, and have their family. i certainly wish that i had been born much sooner, then i could have avoided this mess myself and had a life that i really don’t have now. being alone now is no fun at all for me, so i will go out every single night and hope that i can meet that special woman for me this time around.

  25. Saint_In_Training

    March 22, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    I was Born into a horrible & severely dysfunctional household. My parents fought every night. The cops were always at our door. I was picked on with horrible names because I was the one sent to call 911. I was always sent because I was the fastest runner. When the wars at home broke out one of the first things to go flying was the telephone, next was the kitchen table etc.. When I was 7 yrs old it was I who once went flying out the window. I was labeled a traitor for obeying and calling 911? I was so confused as a kid. Every attempt I made at trying to get them to stop fighting failed and only made me the target.
    There were very few days I was not exposed to violence in my youth. I had been beat for most if not all of my childhood, not just from my parents but siblings as well. I was also picked on by others because of how my family was, even til this day. I never believed in striking back and did so only on two maybe three occasions. During those moments I felt bad because it was my family and I didn’t understand it because I loved them and didn’t want to hurt them back. I didn’t understand why I had to defend myself from them. Til this day I still don’t. I’ve turned the other cheek so much in life that it’s a miracle I have cheeks. I don’t know why I was never able to give up on them. I just kept on trying, even til this day.
    By the time I was 11yrs old things were so bad that I was left to fend for myself. I collected cans to feed myself. Everyone thought I was just being a good little girl “cleaning up the park recycling” little did they know I was starving! 20 cans = $1.00 = a can of raviolis and a .25 cent juice.
    I remember one day when I was 13 yrs old. I was so depressed, miserable and I had no idea how angry I was until I passed the “church” I was raised in. There was a statue (idol) of the virgin Mary that I was brainwashed as a child to genuflect in front of, make the sign of the cross and put money on the base of it. So like a good little slave, I took the only money I had which was 10cents and did the whole ritual and as I was there bent down putting my dime on the base of this marble statue it was as if the finger of GOD poked me and said “What are you doing silly little girl?” I literally felt it & It was like a wave of understanding just hit me & It made me angry when I realized what I was actually doing. Giving money I didn’t have to a rock!
    I stood up and began cursing and frantically screaming at the statue. It was late at night (I did all I could to avoid going home in those days) and I was standing (more like jumping like a crazy kid screaming) there alone with no one in sight just screaming at this statue to get off it’s base and help me. I demanded it answer me! I taunted it and cursed it and demanded it to rise up off its base and speak! I was enraged! I wanted my dime back!
    With tears streaming down my face I tried to squeeze myself through the metal bars protecting this block of marble trying desperately to get my dime back but I couldn’t reach it. Which made me even more mad! I just put it there! I wanted it back! I tried and tried but couldn’t get my dime back! I was so infuriated! I could have bought a 10 cents Ice with that dime!
    I finally got tired of trying and screaming and walked home angry and crying and feeling so alone. (I didn’t understand it then but I do now, do not take that which is sacrificed unto idols) GOD said I couldn’t have it back. Lesson Learned!
    The next day there was a knock on my door. My mother went to answer and it was an Indian man and his Chinese wife at the door. (I wish I could remember their names, find them and thank them) They were holding Bibles. My mother was a die hard catholic and if you weren’t a priest or a nun she slammed the door in your face, but this time she couldn’t. They asked for me by name.
    When I heard them ask for me I almost crapped myself. I was so scared I was in trouble. I had no idea who they were and I thought my mother was going to kick my a** for having strange Bible people coming to the door. I was peaking around the kitchen doorway like a mouse afraid of what was coming. I could see my mothers face, she was so angry and upset standing there with her arms crossed. I could see she wanted to slam that door so hard but she couldn’t. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now. “The Lord will open doors that no man can close, and close doors that no man can open!”
    My mother called for me and I crept up as quiet as possible and went to the door. I was so scared. I was a tiny, malnourished little thing not even 4 ft tall and lucky to weigh 40 lbs soaking wet. Just thinking back on it now I smile at how tiny I was but that I never felt small.
    Anyway, I get to the door and my mother tells me “They’re asking for you” and she just walked away. Which was a shock to me that she didn’t slam the door. So, I stepped out and closed the door behind me. They both sat me down and gave me my first Bible. They were Christians who had to run from underground churches in their home countries. They became missionaries and met and were later married. A Chinese Woman and an Indian Man, back then that was a shocker in and of itself. The craziest thing is that they knew me by name! How did they know my name? I was so confused. I didn’t know them, I never met them! Where did they come from? But they called me by name and the next day after I had my one sided shouting match with the virgin mary statue! I didn’t understand it then, but I do now.
    They sat with me on my stoop for over an hour and taught me how to read the Bible. Showing me what all the books were and how to find passages and to understand the order of the Good Book and then they left.
    I wish I could say life got easier for me and that GOD put me on a pedestal surrounded by angels and I was living in heaven on earth but I can’t. My dad died, my sister died, I had to run on more than one occasion to stay alive. I buried my little brothers ashes in my mothers coffin. I have known pain and suffering that I don’t talk about because I don’t want to make others sad. It’s a shock at how many people have died so young in my family and one after the other. So much so, that people keep their distance when another death comes not knowing what to say anymore. I’ve attended more funerals in my short life than most have in generations. I have experienced horrors and traumas that if I were to mention them all people might drop dead in their seats from shock. People meet me and think because of the way I carry myself that I must have this wonderful life & childhood. As if I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. if only they knew what I have been through and still go through at times.
    And yes, at times I feel like GOD hates me. And in all honesty GOD would be justified in doing so. I have erred many a times in my life, good intentions or not I still failed in many things where I should have known better. Sometimes the horrors and stress of it all had caused me to turn away from GOD. I even tried to become an atheist just so I could ignore GOD when HE called. Yet GOD always finds me when I am lost and brings me back to HIS path. When I go through horrors which I have become all too accustomed to (even though I have moved far there is no where in the world to run when disaster strikes…) I do feel at times like GOD has abandoned me. I feel as if I will never get it right in life. As much as I try to warn people don’t do this or please, stop, wait, don’t go etc… I always chased people down to pull them out of trouble and still do (Which shocks them because they don’t know how I found them or even knew and sometimes neither do I) but it seems like it’s never enough. I feel I will never have peace on this earth. Only brief periods of calm before the next storm, just long enough to lick my wounds and gather myself for the next battle.
    I ask GOD often why? Why is this happening? Why can I not have a good life? Why must there always be a trauma? Why do you always strike me with that feeling in the pit of my stomach that forces me to get up out of bed in the middle of the night to go searching to clean up another mess when I just want to sleep and pretend everyone is ok? Why Why Why? And then I remember the Truth, as if GOD is telling me in my own mind… “Did MY SON have it so good? What about the Apostles? Was it so easy for them in such an evil world? Did I not say remember if they hate you they hated ME first? Did I not say that the devil roams the earth like a lion seeking whom he could devour? Did I not say I chastise those whom I love? Did I not say be ye therefore wise as serpents yet harmless as doves? Did I not say to forgive 70 x’s 7 times? Did I not say these things?” Yes FATHER YOU did and so much more…
    GOD does love me. HE came for me as a child and though I have jumped the fence at times or been dragged over it others, HE always came looking for HIS lost sheep. I can only thank HIM and Praise HIM, even when the world is crumbling down around me and I am on the floor of my soul bleeding (even before the storms strike I know most times they are coming and sometimes in a tantrum I go because I get so tired of always having to navigate through disaster) and I am calling HIM out on HIS promises screaming in my heart “Where are you?” I know HE is there. I know HE is watching. I know HE will only give me what I can handle. I know even if HE has to strip me of everything and force me on my knees kicking and screaming like a camel in obedience to get me through the eye of the needle, HE will get me through! I know HE is fashioning me into a servant of righteousness. I know HE is stretching my patience in order to make it stronger. I know HE is showing me how forgiving HE is by putting me in the positions where it is I who must forgive and vice versa. I know that He is teaching me how HIS heart breaks for those HE loves as I feel my heart breaking for those whom I love. HE is a GOD of love and a GOD of vengeance and a GOD of wrath, yes we all know that, all too well, but what we often forget and me most of all, is that he is our GOOD TEACHER.
    The lessons we are learning are not just earthly, If we cannot be instructed in earthly matters how can we be instructed in Heavenly things?
    So yes, I often ask GOD why? I often ask GOD if HE hates me. I often feel the walls closing in on me and feel helpless more often than not, but I still remember that HE sent HIS servants to call me by name. I remember the moments that HE showed me how quickly HE can fix things. I remember the instances where I believed there was no hope left and HE showed me there was. I remember the moments HE has also used me to save others from themselves the way HE has saved me from myself. Giving them another chance, another day to meet HIM.
    And after all is said and done, If GOD would let me, an unprofitable servant, just be the doormat to the Kingdom of Heaven I will have been given more than I deserved!

    • Jinger

      May 11, 2013 at 12:32 pm

      Wow, who are you? Your words are mighty and our LORD is speaking thru you. Today I felt like he hates me because he allows things to happen that shouldn’t happen and he sees and knows everything but then “why” I cry out then does it happen? But then your words are speaking thru him and bring me back and help me to remember why I chose to believe his word. Thank you!

    • Califraska

      June 23, 2013 at 3:02 pm

      Saint_In_Training … I so hope the Lord lets me meet you face to face one day, dear little sister of mine. Hang in there (Hebrews 12:1-15). I love you in Christ. — Your Very Fallible Big Brother (who arrived on this page through a Google search for an answer to the question, “Why does God hate me?”)

    • nofaith

      August 20, 2014 at 10:57 am

      I think you’re full of shit. Only people that get their way fill the way you do about god.

  26. WorkInProgress

    March 22, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    That was beautiful, Saint in Training. I needed to hear your words today. Thank you.

  27. InTheValley

    April 6, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    I feel the same as a lot of these commenters, that maybe God just really doesn’t give a damn about some people. I’m 27 and pretty much my entire life has been a massive struggle. The joke of it is that I’m a natural optimist so every time I get kicked down I get up hoping for the best. I try to be and do better and believe that everything will be ok. But then it’s not. This has happened so many times and I’m starting to lose the will to fight. How long can you keep getting kicked down and keep getting up? Someone mentioned that sin is the reason for suffering. I’m not perfect but I try to be a good person, I really do, but I feel like God has forsaken me. If this is the case then why are there so many people who are honestly horrible people, who do horrible things and really don’t care, who have everything the want in life. There isn’t a singe aspect of my life that’s how I would like it to be. I feel depressed, lonely and I feel like believing in God has made it worse, because now I also feel guilty thinking I’m a ‘bad’ Christian. I’ve always been the kind of person that’ll self assess if things aren’t going my way and try to change but nothing I do works. I spend so much time crying lately and I feel like if God had any kind of mercy he’d just let me die, because the pain is getting to hard to bare. The only reason I wouldn’t do it myself is because I could never do that to my mum. So that’s where I am and I really believe that some people are favoured regardless and others aren’t, and I’m just one of the unfortunate ones who isn’t.

  28. Saint_in_Training

    April 7, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    Dear “InTheValley”,
    Stop thinking you are a “bad” christian because there are NO GOOD Christians! That’s just a fact (an uncomfortable one for most to accept). Like JESUS said, “There are none Good but GOD” Does that give us license to sin absolutely not. But it does give us an understanding. We are “Growing in Grace” my friend. It doesn’t happen over night, it takes a lifetime.
    Remember it is written “No man seeketh after GOD, not a one”. If you are looking for GOD it’s because GOD has touched your heart. HE wants you to seek after HIM. HE is pulling you towards HIM. That in itself is a great blessing!

    Job is a great book in the Bible that completely destroys the “Doctrine of Retribution” that you seem to be suffering from (as we all do at times) GOD justified Job in the beginning. GOD said Job was a “Perfect and upright man” We being fragile and fickle minded humans are completely vulnerable to the lies of hell feeling as if “GOD has it in for us” & when something bad happens that’s proof HE hates us. Nothing could be further from the truth. Again I repeat Job was a “perfect and Upright man” before his trials & tribulations began (which was a great lesson Job underwent for all of us to learn from, Job began by defending himself to defending the widow the poor the fatherless all while his 3 sorry comforters were condemning him!) Remember it is written only 3 people in all of history could have made it with their own righteousness if it were possible, Noah, Job & Daniel & they could only save themselves no one else! Only 3 people out of the billions upon billions that have lived and died before us. And even Job with all his integrity knew he needed a savior! Not even Moses was on that list! Nor David, a “Man after GOD’s own heart!” We need to remember this. We need to remember we are all Saints in training!

    As for feeling “guilty” that is a good thing because It means you have not seared your conscience and you are open to GOD correcting you. That is another huge blessing GOD has given you! One key phrase you used was “if things aren’t going my way” That may be an area where you’re in need of correction (and believe me you’re not the only one!), Like JESUS said “Not my will, but thine will be done”

    GOD is being merciful by keeping you among the living! HE is giving you the time on earth you need (as we all do) to get right with HIM. For we only have one lifetime to do so. GOD is beyond patient with HIS creation. HE knows the consequences & finality of Judgement. GOD wishes that no man perish but that ALL would come to a saving faith in JESUS CHRIST! HIS patience towards us is another one of HIS great blessings!

    • InTheValley

      April 8, 2013 at 7:42 am

      Thank you Saint_in_Training for taking the time to reply to my comment, I really do appreciate you trying to help. And I can see what you’re trying to say but I’ve heard so much of this before…”have faith”, “He will not leave you nor forsake you” etc but it’s hard for me to find comfort in this any more. I feel like He has left me. I’ve been struggling since I was a child. I grew up in a single parent household with no money because my mother was (and still is) a carer for my brother who has learning difficulties. There was violence and hardship through most of my childhood but from the age of 5 I strongly believed I was going to make a difference in the world. I had already decided on my dream career by then and I was certain in was God given. But when I was doing my exams I got sick and was hospitalised and lost my place to study. I’ve since tried again and again but keep failing. I still live at home and my brother’s condition is worsening again after a period of him getting better. I’m unemployed and have a ridiculous amount of student debt. I’ve never been in a relationship or had anybody love me and I barely have any friends because they are all employed, in relationships or getting married and starting families, we have nothing in common any more. They’re moving on with their lives and I’m exactly where I was 10 years ago. I hate being overly negative and lamenting, I really do and most of the time I put on a smile and pretend everything is fine. For most of my life despite the many hardships and knock backs I’ve dusted myself off and kept going believing that God has a plan for me. But it’s getting harder to believe this. I’m tired of everything I do always being a struggle, a fight! Nothing ever just works out for me. I know “I plan, God laughs” I understand this but what’s so wrong with my plans and aspirations, especially since I believed that my dreams were God given. What is so wrong with me wanting to be happy? My self-esteem is at an all time low and I feel like a failure in every single respect. I should rephrase my original statement, I don’t think God hates me; I just think I’m not very high on His list of priorities. I believe in favour, in miracles, I just don’t think they happen in my life. Right now I find it difficult to even look at my bible let alone read it. Who knows, maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow with a renewed faith but right now I’m just tired. Thanks again for your kind words. x

      • Califraska

        June 23, 2013 at 3:17 pm

        Believe me, my friend, I so empathize with you and hear you and feel for you, more than you can know. Because I am still “In the Valley” myself, I can’t tell you how your or my story ends. But this I do know: that Jesus is the only One Who ALWAYS does the Father’s will, and it’s the Father’s will that Jesus not lose even one of us who the Father has given to Him. “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly.” Jesus answered, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The works I do in my Father’s name testify about me, but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” (John 10:24b-30 NIV) So, no matter how little what we’re going through right now makes “sense,” nor how weak it reveals our faith and attitude to be … the LORD is greater than our faith or our attitude (THANK YOU, LORD!). Otherwise, you and I would be “toast.” Hang in there, my dear friend. And I’ll see you on the other side … because of Him and His character, and only because we BELIEVED in Jesus (which, in the Amplified Bible, is translated, “to trust in, to rely on, to cleave to). I pray that the Holy Spirit encourage you today.

  29. Diane

    June 10, 2013 at 10:59 am

    I also fell like God hates me. I have always thank him for everything. Right down to Tuna and Crackers when that is all we have had to eat for dinner. I am losing my house and going to have to live in a camper.( I am even thankful for that) I have always helped people and gave. My husband has had a knee replacement and has to have the other one replaced when this one gets well enough. He can’t work for awhile. He was doing construction when he could because he had, had back surgery and he is also 58 years old and things are hard on him. I am the only one working and have for along time. No one of course can help out. No one that we have helped. Can’t get payed back from people who have borrowed from us. I work sometimes 2 jobs. 1 is during tax season, the other is all year long. Everytime I turn around things just keep kicking me in the teeth. I keep wondering what did I do wrong? I pray. I’m thankful. I try not to complain. I spread his word and try to do what he wants me to do. I really think he hates me. Nothing I did was good enough for my Mom and now I think God thinks the same way about me. The more i try to please him the more rejection I get. What should I do just stop trying?

  30. SpeakingTheTruth

    June 26, 2013 at 10:04 am

    i feel very much that God is certainly punishing me for having a love life that i want so much, and why in the world would he do this to me especially after seeing so many very lucky men and women today that were able to have met one another and have a family like i would have wanted too? why can’t God send me a good woman for a change instead of meeting all the nasty ones, especially when they curse at us men for trying to start a conversation with the one that we would really like to meet? i will never understand that at all.

  31. lpr

    July 16, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    What’s wrong with God? If he was half the father to me as I am for my children I would have a wonderful life!

    My biggest wish in life is that my sons look up to me as an example of a successful Christian. But my youngest son I have’nt even seen in 5 years. The eldest is sceptical about religion and sorry but there is no way I can convince him that he has reason to turn to God. This is the most disappointing thing in my life!

    I rest my case and am not going to feel guilty about myself anymore. I did not make myself and if I am not good enough the way I am it’s His failure and not mine.

    So go bless whoever the perfect people You have created and please just leave me in peace.

    I have lost interest in the so called heaven.

  32. Linda

    December 17, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    I don’t understand how she can live a normal happy life without a job and health insurance and home and she and her child have HIV? I just don’t understand how she’s supposed to do that.

  33. Olga Magoula

    February 11, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    Thank you for this brief respite. All you good people out there writing on this blog. I hope and wish you are still on this earth and that you do not suffer.
    May I add I have joined the club of those lovely people like “In the Valley” and “Saint in Training” and I have exactly the same questions like you.
    I have no interest in Heaven either. It is outside my human experience” it is something entirely extraterrestrial and alien.
    “Saint in Training” hit the nail on the head when she put forward this premise: that we are tried beyond and above our next limits of pain, patience, endurance, forgiveness until we get to measure up to the amount of pain/love, hatred, wrath/forgiveness, patience of this Awsome, Eternal, Vast Creature, the triune God and we get to our own measure become worthy and godly ourselves.
    1. Did we have a chance to refuse and if possible,get a better chance in life instead? NO.
    2. Does this deal remind you of an insane almighty torturer who wants others to resemble him in his vices and in his virtues by stretching us out by artificial means on a torture table? YES.
    3. Whenever I am convinced God hates me, I tend to turn to people and feel infinite love and respect for them. Love For us poor humans only. For our world and for our broken lives and for our only chance, our only finite life and our measured and limited wisdom and love.
    And I cry out for ALL HUMAN DIGNITY in our fragility of us who face up both an Evil Fallen world, the guiles of Satan and the cruel inhuman methods of a MAD Teacher and Creator whO looks like us and created us but HE WILL NEVER BE A HUMAN even if he TEMPORARILY sacrificed his Godly Son once. Three days of abuse, torture and a clownish and cruel death was Jesus part but HE KNEW HE WOULD SURELY GO BACK TO HIS DAD IN GLORY ALL ALONGbecause he was in the world but NEVER A PART OF IT. We are humans and God is disrespecting us with His teaching methods to the point we cannot tell who the torturer is God or Satan.
    I love you, dear brothers and sisters,
    From my heart I wished I could help you at any cost.
    Magdalen

  34. Magdalen

    February 11, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    hank you for this brief respite. All you good people out there writing on this blog. I hope and wish you are still on this earth and that you do not suffer.
    May I add I have joined the club of those lovely people like “In the Valley” and “Saint in Training” and I have exactly the same questions like you.
    I have no interest in Heaven either. It is outside my human experience” it is something entirely extraterrestrial and alien.
    “Saint in Training” hit the nail on the head when she put forward this premise: that we are tried beyond and above our next limits of pain, patience, endurance, forgiveness until we get to measure up to the amount of pain/love, hatred, wrath/forgiveness, patience of this Awsome, Eternal, Vast Creature, the triune God and we get to our own measure become worthy and godly ourselves.
    1. Did we have a chance to refuse and if possible,get a better chance in life instead? NO.
    2. Does this deal remind you of an insane almighty torturer who wants others to resemble him in his vices and in his virtues by stretching us out by artificial means on a torture table? YES.
    3. Whenever I am convinced God hates me, I tend to turn to people and feel infinite love and respect for them. Love For us poor humans only. For our world and for our broken lives and for our only chance, our only finite life and our measured and limited wisdom and love.
    And I cry out for ALL HUMAN DIGNITY in our fragility of us who face up both an Evil Fallen world, the guiles of Satan and the cruel inhuman methods of a MAD Teacher and Creator whO looks like us and created us but HE WILL NEVER BE A HUMAN even if he TEMPORARILY sacrificed his Godly Son once. Three days of abuse, torture and a clownish and cruel death was Jesus part but HE KNEW HE WOULD SURELY GO BACK TO HIS DAD IN GLORY ALL ALONGbecause he was in the world but NEVER A PART OF IT. We are humans and God is disrespecting us with His teaching methods to the point we cannot tell who the torturer is God or Satan.
    I love you, dear brothers and sisters,
    From my heart I wished I could help you at any cost.
    Magdalen

    • Saint_in_Training

      February 20, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      Magdalen,

      By your own admission you have no care for Heavenly things therefore you in no wise have any clue as to what premise I have or have not laid out. You have no part in me and I have no part in you. Your words are like that of an asp, Poison.
      I hereby bind the venom of your words in the name of the LIVING GOD of all creation my FATHER and HIS SON my SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST and the HOLY SPIRIT my COMFORTER that they fall to the ground and are trampled on. I pray that the ears of my brothers and sisters in the GOSPEL of TRUTH are covered by the precious blood of the LAMB and are in no wise harmed by your poison.
      Thank you LORD GOD my FATHER and my SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST for hearing my prayer and sending your HOLY SPIRIT with all speed to answer my prayer.
      I Praise you FATHER GOD for YOUR FAITHFULNESS! Thank you JESUS! Thank you FATHER! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!

  35. Rob

    March 10, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    The pain and anguish in all these posts is tough to read.

    Once I did not care, was to selfish, but now my suffering has made me be able to commiserate with you who suffer.

    Not long ago, I was the blessed of the Lord. After living a life of debauchery, fun and monetary prosperity, I found myself totally void of feeling or life. I was 38, wanted to die (despite all the fun and money) and then Jesus found me, not religion, that had found me long ago, but the person of Jesus came to me on my couch in Manhattan Beach, California.

    I said, Lord, sit on the throne of my heart and run my life (I heard this on TV once and said it—but I did mean it from the pit of my gut). My life prospered in all ways. My anger turned to Joy, my hatred to love, my lack of caring to caring. I left my old life and started on a new one, but I was afraid, afraid it would all crash around me and it did.

    Now I have nothing, and I am confused as to how I got here. “Lord, why hast thou forsaken me.” My “sinning” stopped and my suffering began.

    I have felt certain leadings of the Spirit around this, fear is a sign that you do not actually believe all that Jesus did, for if you did believe, then how can you fear. If Jesus, who God had no right to punish and Satan no right to convict, suffered for you than why in the hell should you suffer anyway?

    What I will say is this. THERE IS NO WAY THAT SICKNESS, LACK, AND DEATH ARE PART OF THE GOSPEL.

    I keep hearing Christians say, “well what about Jesus and all that he suffered?” Have you read your Bible’s, I mean really read them?

    There is no account of Jesus having even a runny nose in scripture, until the hour that He gave himself over to Satan. He had a great childhood, he clearly looked good and healthy as people flocked to him. People came to stone him and hurt him, “but no one even laid a hand on him for his hour had not yet come.”

    Did you notice…His “hour” had not yet come, not His lIfe of misery had not yet come. Why would Jesus have an hour of misery and you a life of misery? If the Gospel is true….

    Yea sure, the world hated him, but the world does nothing but hate. Read you internet, who does the world not hate? Being verbally persecuted by the world is one thing, but Jesus was not starving, he did not have AIDs, he was not ill, he did not sleep in the streets, but God provided everything for Him…and not just him but all the disciples with him….even after his death (read Acts 4).

    There is no scripture where Jesus turned away a believer and did not heal them, he did not say, “woman with issue of blood, ‘suffer on’ it is part of my plan, deal with it.” No, he “healed them all.” Is the Good News that we are all to suffer, would it not be better to die now and live whole? No, only one thing stopped Jesus work, unbelief.

    So, Jesus, perfectly fit and healthy, turned himself over to Satan to be tortured and killed. Why? Well read John 10, after Jesus healed the man born blind (like we are all born), he reveals himself as the Good Shepherd, the one who “dies instead of the sheep.” The One who leads the sheep in and out of the safe confides and feeds them.

    The world judges any Shepherd by the state of the sheep, if we are all sickly then we have a bad Shepherd. Is that how God is glorified, is that how “your joy is made complete?” In that same chapter Jesus says, “the thief comes only to steal kill and destroy, I came that they may have life and life in superabundance.” What is AIDS, superabundance or the stealing of whole life….C’mon.

    Don’t give the me the free choice crap either, if we are still under judgment for our bad choices after the blood of Jesus, than lets start killing animals again like the Jews, those sacrifices lasted a year didn’t they? Did not the book of Hebrews say that His blood is greater than the blood of bulls and goats?

    Jesus says ask anything in my name and I will do it. Is there a caveat if he wants you to suffer for some reason? Then he falls silent and tortures you?

    Read the book of Job carefully. Job is full of fear (chapter 3), Job is full of pride and self righteousness, read the chapters as he maligns God after his fall. Elihu rebukes him, God from the whirlwind says, “can even your right hand (righteousness) save you?” The point is that Job is not working from Grace but from works, his righteousness and those sacrifices he makes every day (see chapter 3). At the end, Job sees himself for what he is, nothing but dependent on God’s goodness not God’s reward for good effort.

    Oh yea, Job did not have Jesus either, did he. He did not have the Holy Spirit either, so why in the hell would we be thinking our life should be like Jobs? Why did Jesus not stay home if his gift to us is the same as the old Job gift.

    Oh yea, Job suffered big things but for a short time, and then he received way more than he had, and he was the richest man in the East before his fall. To any who have suffered, would you sign up for that right now…me too!!!

    The fact is that God is a Blesser, He is “the Resurrection and the Life,” He is “Light and there is absolutely no darkness in him,” so how can he give death and darkness to his sheep?

    To all of us who are suffering, there are only two options….either we are not hearing and believing God, or the Good News (Gospel) is a fraud and we fell for it, and we are in a bad, bad way.

    I too suffer with doubt in my anguish…

    Sure the world hated the Apostles, many were beaten for believing in Jesus, is that what AIDS is the world beating you for Jesus? Is that what death is, “the world has hated me so it will hate you?” The world does not control the good that comes to you, “for every good thing that comes to a man comes from God.”

    If the Gospel is true than death is no longer our task master, if the Gospel is true than we have a Good Shepherd who suffers instead of the sheep, if the Gospel is true than we do not need to be perfected because we live inside the one who is already perfect…except for this…

    “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

    In all the posts above, those who believe in God and are suffering I see a common thread with myself. I paraphrase it this way, “we tried to listen to God, to turn our lives over to God, to have him lead our paths.” But Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, I believe we are all trying to live up to God instead of in God. We just won’t rest in him and stop fearing and thus show our unbelief in all that He did.

    I ALSO BELIEVE THAT THIS IS ONLY A GIFT….LET US ASK FOR THIS GIFT!!!! Without him “we can do Nothing.”

    We are not supposed to be getting punished, yet we are. To all those who are with me in pain, I pray this, “Lord Jesus, let all who hear this word (oh me included), let us see our Good Shepherd, give us the gift of faith that we may know that you Love us. Perfect us in Love for if you are with us, who can be against us? Heal us Lord Jesus in your body, not a sick body, but a whole body, your body is not sick and we are your body, for as you are in heaven so are we in this world!”

    “Glorify yourself, your goodness, in us by making us full of life, for you are life…the real stuff not some made up religious stuff, but the wholeness, life in superabundance.–AMEN”

    If any word needs to be bound to the pit of hell it is that the Gospel has anything to do with illness, death and misery. That is a lie from hell, unless the Gospel is not the Good News and the Bible lies.

    “I believe Lord, help me with my unbelief”

  36. Trying my best

    April 1, 2014 at 1:54 pm

    I’m tired. Really. Everything I go through. I’m tired of it all. God hates me. I’m sure of it. I can’t get into college, I can’t have managers who care about me or my feelings. I owe people money. My grandfather has cancer. My father is in jail. My self confidence is slim to none. My church is full of hypocrites and people who play “church” because they think it’s the right thing to do. Nobody really cares about you there and they’re not really nice either. (Insert “well you’re suppose to look at God not people” but God is turning his back on me too. It’s not that I haven’t even been patient. I’ve been going through in my mind for YEARS! And on top of that I can’t even pass my drivers test. ITS ALWAYS SOMETHING. how can God give the most horrible people a mother and father and a perfect childhood and home and I get treated like crap. I’ve been picked on, talked about behind my back and I’ve hated myself. I have thought I was ugly for so long. Nobody wants me at all. I’m sure of it positive. You may say, oh that’s nothing but really? It’s something to ME! I don’t care how small my problems are, I HAVE PROBLEMS. I’m hurting. I’m in pain. And I’m tired of it. I only have a little faith left and if another door closes, I might loose my faith all together.

  37. Jennifer

    April 2, 2014 at 5:31 pm

    PLEASE READ!
    My friends, my dear friends…I am bawling over each and every one of your stories. I believe our God has us each experience pain, loss, turmoil, death, sickness, abuse, unfaithfulness, depression and so on so we lean on him and don’t get comfortable here. I find myself at times too wondering WHY? I haven’t gotten an answer but I trust God enough to not need an answer. God cares! God sees! He SEES you! Each one of you. He has felt every pain, caught every tear, He has experienced loss, betrayal, hurts beyond all we can imagine! I wish I could just hug each of you and that Gods love could be felt through it!
    When bad things happen, it doesn’t always mean we are OUT of His will. All the crappiest, most hurtful things that have happened in my life have taught me things and have made me the person I am today….not to mention brought me closer to Him….but that’s a choice. It’s a choice to trust Him, who created you and knit you in your mothers womb, it’s your choice to believe He is with you always despite what you’re going through or believe He hates you. I BEG God right now, I PLEAD with Him that He would show himself to each one of you! That He would show up in your life in a way that you would KNOW it was Him and there would be NO DENYING His un fathomable love for each of you! You have no idea too how much you have ministered to MY heart, as well as to others reading this. Religion today says you aren’t to be honest with where you are, or if you’re angry at God….your HONESTY about where you are and your ability to share here has shattered and also healed my heart, all in one swoop! It’s already been shown—people here have commended you on your braveness- in your boldness and courage! YOU are NOT a mistake! Your life means so much! YOU matter!!!!! The hell you’ve been through does not make you nothing and it does not COUNT for nothing! it does not mean you aren’t loved by the Father!
    I pray God would send people into each of your lives, people, who are honest, kind, people who have been through the wringer too and who’ve come out on the other end as pure gold, NOT because their lives are now perfect but because they’ve found the truth of who God really is! I pray you would see miracles happen, dream dreams and that you would be lifted up and restored! I love you all and pray you would be, deep down in the depths of every feeling, emotion and memory- encouraged!

  38. WhereisGod?

    August 9, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    I pray and pray. I live a set apart life. People say God owes you nothing. What about the promises God made that if we obey him. I’ve lived through some hell on earth situations. This last thing has me shaken. I don’t know what to do with my future. I’m a planner, but I feel like there is a slap in the face. God took my husband . . and my ability to have a child. Failed IVF–go results yesterday. I am so numb. I don’t want to go to work., I just want to sleep for a year straight. I can’t. I have no one. I’ve lived a set apart life, so why doesn’t God like me. Why has be abandoned me. When will I have a normal life with a family? I miss my husband so much. I am a very private person. I don’t have anyone to confide in. Those around me who I thought I could trust have proven they can not be trusted. Two specific people who I trusted with my life. They are gone and don’t seem to care about me. What am I to do? I feel as if I start crying I won’t be able to stop. Oh God, please help me.

  39. Cherise

    September 7, 2014 at 6:42 pm

    The real messed up thing for me to face is… I NEVER, I mean NEVER been truly loved by no person on earth!!! NEVER! Though, I deal with most things in life with anger because love doesn’t come into my life. People, will tell me God loves me, God is love. Really? How? When I try to show love to others it’s commonly rejected and I don’t think about love ever entering m life. As a child my mother love for me is abuse, and to prostitute me off to men. Life for me haven’t gotten any better. Even being saved! I can share so many rejection from God it will make one to wonder. Then again maybe not, because people tend to believe ITS something your not doing right. And you should do it this way or that. Still the common denominator is lack love, pain, misery, rejection, alone! This is by design not by choice! Why would I want to live a life apart from love and that is my deepest desire?

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