How Long is Too Long When Waiting For a Marriage Proposal?

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So you think you’ve found “the one“. Everything seems as though it’s too good to be true. You have so much in common, his family loves you, you love them, and whenever you’re apart, it seems like an eternity. Fast forward a few years later, the relationship really hasn’t progressed much, except you’re probably shacking up by now. There’s an old saying… “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Do you believe this to be true? If yes, how long are you willing to wait for a marriage proposal. Should there even be a timeframe, or do you consider his timing to be God’s timing?

Truth is…If a man is not ready to get married, he will find every excuse in the world why the timing is not right. His finances, His family, His past relationships etc.

Regardless of all his excuses, you still feel like he’s “the one” and the conversation of marriage has even come up a few times, but for whatever reason he still hasn’t popped the question. Do you give him all the perks of a husband or are there limitations for a boyfriend?

I’ve been in a few relationships where I completely went against everything I stood for. I was so caught up in being everything my boyfriend wanted me to be  that I totally forgot about what God wanted me to be. (Virtuous, a Proverbs 31 woman, a WIFE!) I didn’t understand why God would keep bringing all the wrong people into my life. But, I later realized that He gave me freedom of choice to be with whom ever I chose to be with and it was time that I started making better decisions. It was time that I started to respect myself,  and it was time that I realized that I was worth more than what I was getting.

Don’t settle for being someone’s part time or in the meantime. God can’t bring the right one into your life until you’re willing to part ways with the wrong one.If your prince charming is not stepping up to the plate, Maybe it’s time to let go and let God bring someone into your life who will.

121 Comments

  1. Dom

    May 30, 2012 at 11:56 am

    Sucks! I can totally relate to this, been dating a guy for the past two years…so in love but unsure of where’s it going. Engagement I want it to come and with him it’s like a slow steady race…things are not well because I don’t want to waste my time..so of course the pressure is on. I’m going to be 25 in two years and I’m waiting on God to show me is this the one who he wants me to marry, if so by then I should have the ring. Gods timing is always right but we want a hint to know what will be coming.

  2. Quin via Facebook

    May 30, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    While we were dating I didn’t care about us getting married then it was 4yrs and a child later and one day he said “I’M NEVER GETTING MARRIED” and he said it to my little sister that was a slap in my face so I told him I couldn’t continue to give my husbands benefit package to someone who had no intention to be my husband….I cut off everything with him once he realized I was moving on he proposed and this year will celebrate 5yrs of marriage

  3. Candi

    May 30, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    I know someone who has been with her boyfriend for 8 years and have 2 kids together. She wants to get married but he keeps telling her they’re not financially ready.

  4. Annah Boshielo

    May 30, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    I have been with my boyfriend for not even a full month and he proposed, he said he doesn’t want me to be his girlfriend but his wife. So when the right one comes you don’t have to wait long for a proposal. Wishing all praying women nothing but the best.

    • Meshi

      September 11, 2014 at 6:30 pm

      How can you possibly know each other well enough to become engaged in less than a month?

  5. fisca

    June 5, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    I’ve been dating for about 4 years now and still it seems no proposal will be coming any soon. I keep praying that if i am in the wrong relationship then God opens my eyes to move on without him. I love this guy but i am not getting any younger cos i am now 26years and don’t know how long i have to wait on the Lord but i believe He knows why. Still trusting in God.

  6. Shadeema

    June 5, 2012 at 10:31 pm

    I don’t engage in premartial sex anymore so I wont be shacking up. I believe if you’re getting established 2 years is a reasonable wait time. If you both are already established then 1 yr!

  7. firstchoice monique

    July 5, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    if you and your mate both love each other an decides that you wanna spend eternity together then a time frame isnt necessary, my fiance and i have been seeing each other since november last year and he propose to me on mt birthday since week…

  8. Monae

    August 2, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years. The first 2 and a half yrs were very rocky because we both was away at college in 2 different states. I was being selfish, and I wasn’t ready for an relationship, being I was 18 when i first met him, and going away to college, but I didn’t want to lose something good. I jeopardize that anyways, the first couple months, 3 TIMES. God has blessed me to keep this man in my life, and I am ready to give him my all. We are at that point of building that trust again, and I hope to be his fiance within the next 2 yrs? Is that a reasonable time, since I messed up on my part. I am even willing to wait longer, because I love this man, and I wanna show him that. Any comments?

    • Victoria

      September 11, 2014 at 9:40 pm

      I going thru the se thing. I’m 28 and have been withy guy for 9 yrs. he is 34. He was going to propped after 2 yrs and I freaked out and ruined it. I also was very selfish I t he relationship and unknowingly ruined it again when he was going to propose the second time. It has been about 2 yrs and I am still waiting hoping that I have matured enough to be ready when the time comes again. When I was 21 and 26 it just wasn’t the right time I think now that I have a career, finished school and am close to 30 I am way more ready. All along he’s been patient and amazing to me. Dating for a long time without marriage is not black and white and it’s not always the guys fault

  9. Steph

    November 20, 2012 at 10:37 pm

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 9 years. We have two children and I’m still waiting for a proposal. He knows I’m ready to get married, but he blames finances. I want to go to the courthouse and get married, he says he wants to have a wedding. Although he’s never asked me to marry him. It’s frustrating.

    • Lauren

      January 5, 2013 at 6:04 pm

      Steph I kno the feeling. My boyfriend (long distance..2hrs) & I will be celebrating 10yrs on the 15th. I wanted to be married at 24. Needless to say I’m 26…almost 27(march). We’ve talked about it SOOOO many times & he even asked a few but I’ve come to realize that if he’s not ready (ok with where he’s at in life) it won’t happen. It frustrates me & I respect it BUT i refuse to be a girlfriend forever. We’ll be moving to Atlanta together this yr & little does he know that he will have to step up to the plate once that happens. I just ask God to bless our relationship.

      • Amy

        January 15, 2014 at 9:59 pm

        Are y’all shacking up? Why would God bless what is in blatant opposition to his Word?? You are better than that! Read the Bible!

        • Alisha

          September 13, 2014 at 9:41 pm

          I understand you’re trying to help, but being nosey and judgmental at the same time is not really helping the situation. Her intimate life is none of your business. You should just pray for her that she comes to the realization that she may or may not be doing something that God doesn’t approve of. I’ve made so many mistakes in my life that I would never question another person’s sin. That’s just me though.

  10. Suzie via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    um limitations ..

  11. Dana via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    limitations and a keep seeking attitude

  12. Angie via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    Love him like s husband but let him know the guidelines you both should have

  13. Sonia via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    Limitations,’coz a boyfriend is a man that has’nt chosen you yet.

  14. Tee via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 5:25 pm

    treat him like a boyfriend until

  15. Thembekile via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 5:30 pm

    Not even years or months if he is a match from God

  16. Diana via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 5:33 pm

    If he will not pop the question,why stay in that relationship?most likely he has no intention to ,so let him go his ways.

  17. Bona via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 5:37 pm

    Run! He is just grooving! His heart is somewhere.

  18. Thibile via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 5:39 pm

    Treat him like a husband and u will regret when he marries another in less time than what he spent with u.limit him.fullstop.

  19. Tammy via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 5:41 pm

    Oh no. Limitations. A man has to be my husband before I give him all my wonders of greatness!

  20. Diana via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 5:47 pm

    Right Tammy,the only man I will live with ,is my husband.If I am good enough to cook his food ,then I am good enough to be his wife.

  21. MsShan via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 5:49 pm

    Most definitely their will b restrictions n limitations

  22. La Donna via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 5:49 pm

    I learned limitations because the old saying goes,”why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. Time to close up shop.

  23. Angie via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 5:57 pm

    As in : no seeing other ppl, complete truth, no staying out all night. Have ur phone on.

  24. Felicia via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 6:11 pm

    Limitations

  25. Josett via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 6:25 pm

    I wouldn’t put limitations on anything because I feel like your partner should always get the best of you. I would be a little more clear when I would talk about marriage, Make sure your on the same page. After that’s understood and still no proposal, I would leave because I would feel like I was wasting my time.

    • Stevie

      January 14, 2014 at 3:01 pm

      No, men should only get the “best” of you when they are willing to give Their “best”. If a man wanted my body, my life and my love then he had to be willing commit his body, life and love through marriage! When I made that decision I stopped wasting time and the right man just showed up in my life and we have been married 23 years now! Tyler Perry said sometimes we’re so busy trying to keep together what God wants to break apart, and he’s right! If we stop focusing on asking God to bless our “mess” of a relationship and just clean it up, then he can bless our lives with total love through marriage and the commitment of a good man in our life!

  26. Brenda via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    So my boyfriend says why do you have to be married to enjoy a full life together ??? Any thoughts on that??

    • Stevie

      January 14, 2014 at 3:11 pm

      Ask him, “Why do you have to have sex to have a full life with me? And if I stop giving you sex for a long time, why would you go looking for it outside of the relationship???” Then tell him that men want sex and women want love. Period. Those are our respective identities. If a man wants sex then he needs to provide the love that a woman seeks through marriage. Why do women want marriage? I’ll tell you, it’s because to us the most loving thing a person can do is to give up their own “selfishness” and learn to live together in a more selfless way, and also because a woman wants to feel safe and a marriage makes a woman feel that way. That is real love to a woman.

      Now why do men not want to get married? Well, it’s not because they’re getting the cow free, but because they’re afraid the cow will “dry up” when the vows are spoken!! Ladies, admit it, how many times have we gone without because we’re “just not in the mood” but he is. Men always are, for the most part anyway. We have to learn to be a little selfless and give a little to get a little! Plus men would feel more comfortable giving a ring if they could trust that it wouldn’t end up being a “boxing ring”, as in how many fights do we start just because we had a bad day or don’t want to understand our man and the way he thinks differently.

    • marilyn

      September 11, 2014 at 5:16 pm

      MY EX WOULD ALWAYS TELL ME WHY SHOULD WE GET MARRIED ITS ONLY A PAPER,AND WE NEVER DID GET MARRIED HE’S WITH SOMEONE ELSE NOW SINCE 2001..

      • April

        September 12, 2014 at 4:12 am

        I so understand you cause in my life I only have 3 exes. My first wanted us to be married but I came to france to continue my studies and ask him to wait for me but he went to the USA and didn’t wait (he had no legal papers where we both came from) then i found my exs in france and both of them.. when I ask them about mariage they reply that they never say they not getting married but to be married they must make sure that they have the right women and prefer to live with the women before! I still went with the relationship until both ended. Ever since I learn if a guy don’t have the same objectif as me concerning marriage I won’t go on with the relationship cause men who are giving those type of excuse won’t ever marry you.
        now am waiting upon the Lord… Seeking him to be my first priority in my life till the day he send me my future husband… even so God will still remain my 1st priority.
        put God first and everything gonna be alright. Am 25 by the way and still single…

  27. Brenda via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 6:31 pm

    Let me rephrase that a happy,complete life together with no limitations he does for me what a husband should the entire package and I do for him but when he says that I have no reply because nothing we do is limited????

    • Advice

      September 11, 2014 at 5:19 pm

      Maybe you should put limitations..? He’s clearly saying he won’t marry you because there no limitations. And remember your body is the temple of God.

  28. Kandi

    January 5, 2013 at 6:50 pm

    Lauren if he hasn’t stepped up to the plate in 10 years, what makes you think he’s going to do it just because you guys are in another state?

    • Lauren

      January 5, 2013 at 7:34 pm

      It’s not the point of being in another state…I’ve never made it a requirement. I kno couples that have waited 13-15 yrs to get married. I’m just to a point in my life where I’ve gotten tired of going with the flow of things that are happening in my life i.e. dead end job, going the same routine in life, etc. If I want things to change I can’t just sit around waiting. I’ve gotten off my butt & started the change (being accepted to grad school for marriage & family counseling, searching for jobs in Atlanta, live a healthier life). Getting engaged/married will the next step. Maybe its just not my/our time. I don’t make the plans in my life…God does & I continue to pray that He shows me the way.

      • Kandi

        January 5, 2013 at 8:10 pm

        Lauren it really breaks my heart to hear how comfortable you are with your situation. God gave us a sound mind to be able to make the right decisions. To know right from wrong, and as the author of this post pointed out “freedom of choice to be with who we want to be with” and please don’t say God makes the plans for your life if you’re engaging in pre-marital sex. God has nothing to do with that sweetie and He’s just waiting for you to realize that!

        • Lauren

          January 5, 2013 at 8:51 pm

          No need for it to break your heart. It’s my “freedom of choice”. God “controls” everything whether it be premarital sex, murder, death, etc.

          • Meshi

            September 11, 2014 at 6:48 pm

            No, God gives us free will to make our own choices. He does however want us to make the right choices. Pre-marital sex is not what God wants us to do! Marriage is His standard. Sex outside of marriage age is fornication, and is against God’s moral code.

          • Meshi

            September 11, 2014 at 6:52 pm

            *Marriage*,not “marriage age”.

        • believer

          September 12, 2014 at 9:02 am

          God does have something to do with relationships that have premarital sex, because god had a reason for me to have my son that guy just wasn’t the right one, im not saying it’s tright im saying god had a reason for that happening and that was to give me the gift of a child, he forgives us for our sins and he has a plan for everyone

  29. Serah via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    If u dated sm1 4 mo than 5yias n hes neva mentiond abt marriage i thnk u jst wastng u tym.hes jst wt u 2 pass tym.

  30. Rebecca via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 7:22 pm

    I’ve datet my bf for 3months nd his popped the question,do u think its too soon?

    • suga

      September 13, 2014 at 5:14 am

      Do you think it’s too soon?
      Is that enough time to know his values, his family, observe his relationship with close women in his life. What priority does he place his relationship with God? And was it enough time for him to observe those things in you? I’m not suggesting that you can’t discover those things during engagement because he’s the one for you. Enjoy the romance but go in with both eyes open led by the Holy Spirit

  31. Nokukhanya via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    I think it depends on what 1 wants, others they prefer the stay in as partners others they want marriage. Sumtyms both ways work sumtyms they don’t so it depends on what the 2 individuals want 2 achieve in their rltnshp. For me waiting 2 long 4 a marriage proposal is nt a solution coz knowing sum1 is a lifetime journey so if a person wants 2 marry u he wl knw the very first time he propose u 4 a rltnshp. So guys stop playing mind games & b honest frm the beginning.

  32. Stacy via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 7:32 pm

    i think 5 yrs is the longest any woman should wait if not after then throw up them dueces!

  33. Nicola via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 7:32 pm

    For me, 2 years tops and that’s being generous…after that, hit the road Jack. I dont believe in the together forever without marriage.

  34. Lebogang Penelope via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    Boyfriend

  35. Shedley via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 7:50 pm

    A husband is a husband a boyfriend is a boyfriend give the title were it belong no matter what you do if God don’t approve of that relationship as husband n wife life will not be complete no matter wat you guys do for each other

  36. Kerry via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 7:51 pm

    Forget him cause it’s not worth it SMH

  37. Shedley via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 7:56 pm

    Rebecca I thank is too soon pray on it see what God tell you to do

  38. Lacy via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 7:56 pm

    every relationship will be different but if the guy wants to remain in a noncommitted relationship there should always be limits such as no living together and limited intamacy. I married my husband after 2 months of dating and we have been together for 13 years but this is not a usual amount of time but when you know… you know :)

  39. Pamela via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 8:17 pm

    In relationships there has to be limitations. If you haven’t seen results by a certain time you keep it moving.

    Fishing: you got your line out fish ain’t bitin’… you move to another spot.

    Business: haven’t generated any income, you shut it down before it eats up all free money.

    Dinner: got to a particular restaurant for dinner if No reservations you’ve been waiting over an hour. If time permit you go else where.

    Traffic signals: if you are sitting at that light more than 5 minutes & there’s No traffic in the opposing direction… you run that signal, you’re tired of waiting.

    So yes you have to put limitations or you’ll be waiting for everything every day of your life.

    I know patience is a virtue…. But my patience is impatient.

  40. Nonhlanhla via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 8:27 pm

    When he’s still a boyfriend, he gets what a boyfriend gets. He will get all perks of a husband when he becomes one. The bible does not compromise. God doesn’t change!, so why change His law to suit our excuses and reasons.

  41. Chasity via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 8:32 pm

    @Josett Phelps: No your partner should not get the best of you UNLESS he’s your husband! “NO RING, NO THING”. That’s the Godly way to do it. Any other way is just plain disobedient to God’s word.

  42. Lebogang via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 8:35 pm

    @ praying woman there definately has 2 b limitations. A boyfriend is not a husband. The scripture says ‘submit 2 your husband’ (not 2 boyfriend). For me the most significant limitation is; no sex before he marries you.

    • Muffintop

      September 11, 2014 at 5:52 pm

      When a man proposes two times to a woman, the first time he does she was not sure if he was going to actually followthrough because his words did not match what he said. Then, when he proposed a second time with sincerity and love, she responded to him with hope and trust. He said he wanted to do it God’s way, waiting until marriage to have sexual intercourse but usually changed his mind and always mentioned that he would want to have sex whenever she was ready to. She was in a prior relationship where she was rejected from her man because of issues he had. Because she did not know everything about the bedroom, she felt belittled by her future boyfriend and his comments about her lack of interest and lack of knowledge of sexual things. She wanted to undergo therapy for help in her rejection issues with men, and her BF agreed to be there for her and support her. When he recently desired her, she became terrified because they never discussed her rationale and fear of things. He was not understanding and she said good-bye. The moral of the story is never promise something you cannot deliver, because her trust is gone.

  43. Chasity via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    @Brenda Chavira: I actually feel sorry for you because it sounds like you believe that nonsense your boyfriend is feeding you. Regardless of how right a man treats you, If you’re not married, It’s all wrong in God’s eyes. Maybe when you start to put God first and start caring about what He wants, the husband will come. IJS

  44. Tso via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 8:49 pm

    Iv been waiting 4 6 years 4 him to propose,till nw nothing & frm where I stand he will never do it….jst don’t knw what to do

  45. Nonhlanhla via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    Tso Mokgale. From a sister to another, 2yrs in a relationship you should both be knowing where you’re headed. If he doesn’t commit, I say move on cc. 6yrs is a very long time, just making room for temptations-pre marital sex, unfaithfulness etc. I say ask the brother what his plans r about your realtionship and tell him yours. Pray very hard cc before you address the matter. God will lead you cc. Praying for and with you.

  46. Nonhlanhla via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 9:06 pm

    @ Tso, my apologies for spelling your surname wrong. Makgale it is. Ngixolele cc

  47. Shedley via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    Tso if you a believer of God he will tell you what to do is up to you if you won’t it or not some time we like to hold sin even if you know is wrong .The only thing you should wait on is The Lord

  48. Letty via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 9:13 pm

    Every relationship is different, that is the truth that we never change. My husband & I dated for 5yrs, lived together for 2yrs. We’v always been transparent about how we feel & how we want to go about getting to a point of marriage. Everything worked out jst as God planned bcos we made sure that we included him since the beginning of our jorney.

  49. Shedley via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 9:29 pm

    A wrong is wrong cause a person sin n it turn out better latter to you that’s not mean God was approved of it .The best way to live is to sin less not tell some is ok to sin cause you do it .A reall

  50. Delza via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 9:32 pm

    6mnths is enaf after dat if he is nt showing any sign of Marriage he mst leave!

  51. Shedley via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 9:33 pm

    A believer of God don’t go agains God words n his book letty just saying a sin no sex before marries no but about it

  52. Sineke via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 9:35 pm

    lets be frank guys..we cant date forever,if he doesnt pop the question then why waste time…lets us not be taken for a ride…these pple wont grow old unlike us…

  53. Nonhlanhla via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    Living together? You’re sleeping(having sex) together. That’s a marrital priviledge. We are not children. You will not live with a man you’re in a relationship with ,in the same house and not sleep with him. !!! It is wrong! Its a sin! God says so. So just because you ended up getting married makes it right? NO NO NO! It will always be a sin. God doesn’t change and so are His laws. Let us not mislead ladies who are seeking to do what’s right in the eyes of our Lord Jesus Christ.

  54. Frayne via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    6 years its a lot shem,I say a year its enaf

  55. Shedley via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 9:41 pm

    Well said ramohlale you speak the word of a true women of God

  56. Kaytee via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 9:47 pm

    Great important discussion.

  57. Gabrielle via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 9:55 pm

    For me…if he STILL has not proposed…then I had better be finding out why! And I would not be waiting a couple of “years” if I knew in my heart that he was “the one”. If I know in my heart that he’s the one…but he is not proposing…then something is wrong! And no way would I give him the benefits of a “husband”…because there is no proposal or wedding.

  58. Momo via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 10:52 pm

    @ Nonhlahla*nw thts’ de HONEST TRUTH & its so nt a fact,bt KE NNETE EO MY SIS*…..BIG-UP 2 THT!!!

  59. Nonhlanhla via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 11:21 pm

    You ladies speak so much truth. interesting to read your responses, its time we know our worth and what we as women deserve! We must stop being desperate to be in a stagnant relationship where we see signs but choose to ignore them. Time is precious and very limited so we must not waist it on fruitless things n men we want to play the rest of their lives.

  60. Koketso via Facebook

    January 5, 2013 at 11:37 pm

    Wow great discussion very eye opening

  61. Somadina via Facebook

    January 6, 2013 at 2:48 am

    I luv dis topic, women of substance

  62. Sandra via Facebook

    January 6, 2013 at 3:27 am

    Perks of a husband is just that he has to be a husband to get perks. You must set limitations on a boyfriend as they are not husbands bound to you by marriage. Me, personally will not date a man for more than 3 years without getting engaged. No marriage talk, no dating.

  63. Corine via Facebook

    January 6, 2013 at 3:28 am

    Sit down and have an honest talk with him. Ask him the question, “Where is this relationship going?” Ask for an honest answer. If he tells you he want things to remain the same then that’s your que that the two of you are not on the same page. I would let him know that I will start dating other ppl and he can do the same. I will no longer remain exvlusive with him. Tell him you’re looking for your Boaz (like Ruth in the Bible) and not an Ishmel (false promise). Do not be afraid to let go and let God.

  64. Katherine via Facebook

    January 6, 2013 at 6:26 am

    every relationship is different, but there should be some limitations in a none committed relationship.

  65. Sheila via Facebook

    January 6, 2013 at 6:59 am

    Just my opinion, if he has been with u for 6 yrs n getting what he wants then why would he ask u to marry him. He most likely never will, if u love urself as God does u must have pride in urself n let him know, obviously this relationship is going no where n u need to move on.

  66. Latoya via Facebook

    January 6, 2013 at 7:23 am

    All I can say is LORD HAVE MERCY when I read some comments. I am certainly not judging but just concerned. Every relationship might be different but GOD and his Word remain the same. Sex before marriage = fornication. What does the Word say about this. GOD is Merciful but his Standards has not been lowered! Please read the word guys.

    • Wife in progress

      January 15, 2014 at 9:10 pm

      Jesus said that if we love God, we will obey him.

      If you do not know Jesus as your master and savior, please start this amazing relationship by believing in your heart that he died for your sins and rose from the dead and by confessing from your mouth that Jesus is Lord. He loves you so much and wants you to receive his forgiveness and powerful grace to turn away from sin. He will give you his Holy Spirit to help you live a holy, set apart life. You are so valuable. God wants you to know how precious you are and to reveal himself to you.

      That said, if you are a believer, then you surely believe and follow his Word, right? Here is what it says:

      1 Corinthians 5:9–11
      “I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one.”

      Ephesians 5:3
      “Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people.”

      1 Corinthians 7:9
      “But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.”

      Hebrews 13:4-7
      “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”

      Jesus isn’t coming back for a lukewarm, half-hearted church that ignores his Word and doesn’t bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Turn to him wholeheartedly today! He tells CHURCHES to repent and come back to him in the Book of Revelation– Christian people can live in sin and be FAR FAR away from God!! Sex outside of marriage falls into this category. He wants us to forsake our idols and let him be Lord.

  67. Vuyelwa via Facebook

    January 6, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    Ladys i’ve been dating this guy for 12yrs,we have 2 kids and i’m still waiting,until when???Patience until when???No,no,no,no,now i know,dis is the tym to move on with my life. Lord i thank u about the topic.My mind ws in jail & couldn’t see.Now thes light

  68. Mpho via Facebook

    January 7, 2013 at 2:16 pm

    12yrs!!??? N 2 kids? He wont marry you shem..why wud he wen all priviledges are his.move on hun…or atleast make ur expectations known…n make a decision based on that

  69. Sbongile via Facebook

    January 7, 2013 at 11:54 pm

    Hey sista tnx for the inspiration msg.god bless u

  70. Sehly

    January 9, 2013 at 12:50 am

    so im livin wid my boyfriend n we nt reli doin anifin apart 4rm kissin n a few touches here n der ba we nt hvin sex….. Is it still fornication?

    • follow the Lord

      January 15, 2014 at 9:26 pm

      The Bible says to avoid giving the appearance of evil. Also, living together well increase the temptation to have sex outside of marriage (fornication) by a lot, so it isn’t really the most loving thing you can do for your future husband or that he can do for you. Maybe get married at the courthouse and have a ceremony/reception/party when you can afford it? Some friends of mine just did that.

  71. Sehly

    January 9, 2013 at 12:56 am

    n welll…… He sed we r goin get married as soon as he cn afford it…. Is it ok 2 wait til den??

  72. Ambi

    January 9, 2013 at 9:31 am

    I love this article & I totally can relate to it ! I use to think the same thing, God why are you allowing all these foul men into my life but we have choices & It was me; my fault not Gods! I prayed and asked God one night begging & crying & weeping that I will live for him 1st & put him above all, & the next Man you send in my life I want him to be my husband not a boyfriend but a Husband ! A month later My fiance came into my life !! He treats me like a queen ! 6 months into our relationship he proposed to me on my birthday :) & we’ve been together a total of 10 months!! his parents are against it because he is still in school and living with them but he told them it’s not about how much money I have in the bank, I love her and I want to marry her so she can be my wife & so we both can build a covenant with God ! At the end of the day it doesn’t matter about finances, time, or approval of others; it’s about God, you & him…If you trust in God & have faith in God Philippians 4:19 – But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus you’ll be fine !! :) <3

  73. Leticia via Facebook

    January 12, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    Well to me long dating is long sin I really don’t believe a man a woman can live together ,be in love and not sleep together I don’t mean to affend anyone and forgive me if I do but if in question read,the word fornication acts 15:20. Ephesians 5:3 1thess 4:3 I’m old fashion and fear God …..

  74. Olaniyi Oluwaseun Josephine

    January 30, 2013 at 3:13 am

    This article relates to my story.I have had series of relationships that didnt work out well. As a matter of fact the last one really hurt me. God revealed to me in series of circumstance that made me realise that i was not meant for the guy. i felt so heatbroken. Nevertheless i give glory to God cos he knows what is best for me. I know God has answered my prayers because i believe in him. All the Adoration to God Almighty

  75. Olaniyi Oluwaseun Josephine

    January 30, 2013 at 3:16 am

    All will be well IJN

  76. anonymous

    March 23, 2013 at 11:04 pm

    I have been with my partner 12.5 years we have two kids and bought a house together 6 years ago, he say’s its financial and I don’t believe in ultimatums. It’s hurting me so much.

    • Wife in progress

      January 15, 2014 at 9:22 pm

      That’s probably why the Bible says not to fornicate (have sex outside of marriage). Because it hurts people. And God loves people and wants them to live in his blessing. Sin leads to heartache and death. Biblical grace empowers you to turn away from sin to your loving Heavenly Father who wants only the best for your life. He knows the plans he has for you. Living in opposition to the Bible is not his plan for you. He has so much better!

  77. KaylaLynn

    January 10, 2014 at 10:39 pm

    I’ve been with my partner for four years. He dropped a huge bomb on me a couple days ago… he doesn’t think that the marriage part is a big deal, but because children will take up too much time and his money that he doesn’t see himself having children period. He wants to wait 6 years before he’ll decide to have kids or not. At the time I said that seemed reasonable, but after thinking about it…. in 6 years we will have been together for 10 years, I’ll be nearing 30, and hopefully we’ll be married. I don’t want to go into marriage knowing he’s more for not wanting kids than having them. How do I handle this situation? Do I just wait until he proposes and ask about the children decision before answering? He already knows I want children. I feel as if the saying from above seems to fit this situation…”Why buy the cow…” He almost seems too content with how things are. I’m so stuck with what to do. Advice would be appreciated.

    • Daryn

      January 14, 2014 at 2:53 pm

      How can two walk together in two different directions? Some times it is better to move on!

    • follow the Lord

      January 15, 2014 at 9:38 pm

      You guys are living in opposition to the Bible and to God. But the good news is that God loves you and will help you turn from sin if you allow him to. Sexual sin hurts people. You give so much away to someone who may or may not be committed to loving you through thick and thin. It’s not too late for you to repent and to surrender to God. Let God fill you with truth and wisdom from his Word. Set real boundaries that line up with the Bible. Either this man will respect your relationship with God and want to commit to you 100% or he will leave and you will know the true quality of your relationship. God has so much better for your life than where you’re at right now, but true Bible faith puts God first and does things God’s way. You have to do your part.

      Proverbs 14:12- “There is a way which seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”

      If you do not know Jesus as your master and savior, please visit www dot claybe dot com to get started.

  78. Daryn

    January 14, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    I waited 4 years…then I asked him for a promise ring to which he replied he was not ready. Then I realized there was nothing in his life he had committed to. So I told him I loved him but I had to move on. Within 6 months I was married to some one else and have been ever since…and happy!

  79. Anon

    January 14, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    Amen to the article. Your story could have been mine about 14 years ago. All I can say, the right guy will not want to wait to get married. He will not make excuses. Move on, life is short. Think of your biological clock. If he is serious about you, he will not let you go. Withhold sex because it binds you spiritually as well as physically and emotionally, making it harder for you to leave the person. Know the person, ask lots of questions concerning religion, children, family, money habits (spending or frugal), things you have in common, know if they have debts or have been in trouble with the law. I know people who married and did not even asked questions regarding children or money issues. Some married people who hid debts from the other spouse…ask questions, save yourself heartache. My poor husband after he revealed his ‘love for me’ received a nice interrogation (as he puts it) before I would commit to anything. :) I think because of it…he respected me even more. Men who do not love you or who have nefarious intentions will l run the minute you start asking questions. My advice. Wave goodbye to them. I hope I can save any young woman from the pain and heartache….that I had needlessly had to experienced due to my lack of respect for myself. Respect yourself is the first step towards finding the right person.

    • Gee

      September 11, 2014 at 6:37 pm

      l am dealing with someone who doesn’t even respond to these important questions.He thinks that l am too principled and l must not lecture him.He just ignores my questions and keeps saying that l am refusing with my body.This is someone who claims to be a God fearing person and always says that he does things for the glory of God

      • Jennie Hoffman

        September 11, 2014 at 7:24 pm

        If he honors god, then he will honor marriage because God created and upholds marriage. He should have the talk with you.

  80. April

    January 14, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    I believe when God sends you to one you are meant to be it doesn’t take long. My parents have been married for 30+ years. They were married one year after meeting. I believe withing 6 months to 1 year you should know whether you want to be with a person or not. I also don’t believe in premarital sex. Sex can blind you and keep you in a relationship for wrong reasons.

  81. Sister Michelle

    January 14, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    Also please talk to all the sisters here who have a man and have an agenda and a lets wait till I accomplish thus and such before we get married. If you love someone and they are serving God and you know you want to get married to them you are providing a temptation if you are assuming they will just wait without any possible repercussions to your relationship. I know of a young lady who wants her boyfriend to wait 2 years until she finishes college before she will get married. This is a 30 year old man who has a child from a previous relationship. She has no problem waiting with celibacy but what is the grown man to do. In fact he has cheated multiple times because she is assuming that he has no sexual needs just because she doesn’t. I do not agree with his cheating at all but if you have man don’t expect him to wait years for you while twiddling him thumbs please. God’s ways are best always.

  82. Melissa

    January 14, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    I waited on God’s timing we both felt that we were meant for each other, but we wanted to be sure that we would last. We waited 7 years for marriage and just celebrated 11 years together and almost 4 years married. I think people need to experience hardships together before Marriage to see how each responds to stressful situations.

    • ChildOfGod

      January 15, 2014 at 6:24 am

      Melissa, you are telling the truth,what’s the point of jumping in marriage with someone that you don’t know and when you are in,you discover things that you can’t tolerate and now the divorce process hurts and traumatizes the kids and all this unnecessary painful process for nothing get to know the person thoroughly before jumping into marriage.

      • Neke C

        January 15, 2014 at 8:16 am

        Everyone’s experience will be different. Some will be engaged sooner than others. My experience is that I met my boyfriend at an early age. We were in school and we started dating. He knew I was not into the sex thing at that age and agreed to wait until the right time came. We became more committed as the years passed and we then started talking about living the rest of our lives together and building our own family but wanted to wait for the right time. We prayed and trusted God and everything fell into place. We are together for over 13 years now. We got engaged in 2012, got married in 2013 and we are expecting our first baby in 2014. We spent many years together and we know each other very well. We are very happy and we work out our differences when they occur. Best wishes to those who are awaiting for that question to be popped.

    • Neke C

      January 15, 2014 at 8:18 am

      And I agree with you Melissa… God has His timing.

  83. Stephen

    January 14, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    Is it possible that just because she says she is ready for marriage doesn’t mean she is. Some women just want the title and prestige of being married but are not ready for work involved in being together and staying together. just saying

  84. Irene

    January 14, 2014 at 6:39 pm

    I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years. Me personally, i do no want to get married. We do not have any children together but i do have 2 kids. I don’t believe that there should be a time frame and i don’t believe that you have to get married just because you think he/her is the 1. I feel like GOD has already bonded us together, a piece of paper shouldn’t have to confirm that. There is no “Mines or Yours” it’s all “Ours” and we are and have been happy.

  85. Lis

    January 14, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    I would have been with my babys father today 8 years …this relationship has been off and on from the get go. I love the man I even had a baby with him. I dont know what issues he has but he tells me one day we are together the next we are not together,its to much for me. I told him today that ive already gaven 8 years to him and I need to be wifey . I believe God has a plan for me and if its not him then I will trust in him but letting him go today on our 8year of being of and on is what I felt I needed to do I am going to stay prayful and keep trusting God.

  86. For God 22

    January 15, 2014 at 4:12 am

    I dated a guy pretty young and off an on in our relationship, it and we were off and on engaged. I’m no longer with that man because our relationship was too dysfunctional. The man I am with today: we dated for two years before he asked me to marry him, but I feel we have a real loving connection, more than I’ve felt with anyone else. We had moments when we thought and felt we were ready but weren’t. I say its all about your relationship and what you both want and sometimes you have to step up and seriously ask them if marriage is something they are considering, especially if you’ve been in a long-lasting relationship. Being together means being honest with each other, and they need to be honest, not always giving excuses for things. We are getting married this coming May and I am so excited. I seriously go back over our relationship and though we have had our troubles, I cannot wait to be this man’s wife and live up to being his other half.

  87. ChildOfGod

    January 15, 2014 at 6:13 am

    I have dated this guy for 8 years, we have a 6 year old boy and we love each other.all is well and he talks about marriage all the time,but this lobola thing is getting on my nerves,its like we are being sold like meet at some butchery. My family want R50 000 from him and he is not stable financially,He had to drop out of school because both he’s parents were not working and he had to find a job to take care of me and the baby ,which he did very well up till now.He is a very determined guy and he pushed and continued he’s diploma which he’ll be completing this year ,things will probably get better but this Lobola thing is blocking us from happiness,what do we do in such cases,your men does everything for you and the child,you are where you are because of him ,he talks about marriage all the time,but can’t afford R50 000 for lobola.this is really pissing me off.advises please

  88. Shay

    January 15, 2014 at 7:08 pm

    I just can’t with these comments! Not the substance but the structure! Oh my goodness!!! Grammar is OBVIOUSLY NOT a factor here. Numbers are NOT substitutes for words. Please use your words people. It takes so much more energy to decipher your cryptic, algebraic sentences than to just read normal words as they should be typed/written. Thank you!

  89. Amy

    January 15, 2014 at 9:54 pm

    “I consider that the chief dangers which confront the coming century will be religion without the Holy Ghost, Christianity without Christ, forgiveness without repentance, salvation without regeneration, politics without God, and heaven without hell.”
    ― William Booth

    Some of y’all are advocating sin up in here!! C’mon peoples!!

  90. dannipooh6

    September 12, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    The Bible says nothing about girlfriend or boyfriend..It’s says husband and wife!!

  91. mary

    September 13, 2014 at 12:52 am

    Shalom. I have been dating a guy for 2 years and half now. Am from Africa and he is from Europe. I have been with him when even he had nothing no job. Thanks for my support and now he found his dream job.
    but when it comes for marriage thing he is replying to me that is not from here so what happen if he need to go back to his country one day?
    I got heart broken after hearing that coz am in love.
    I pray for our almighty God to give me strength.

  92. regrets

    September 13, 2014 at 1:32 pm

    Reading all these comments I think how could I have been so blind? I said I was going to wait until marriage but that didn’t happen and found myself full of guilt and felt I had to marry the guy. My first and only guy that I had intercourse with. We got married and now I wonder if I settled, all the warning signs were there but it’s been 6 years of HELL in an emotional/verbally abusive marriage. The trust, there is none and he’s finally starting to change but I’ve become someone I’m not. I still don’t know God’s plan for my marriage, too much hurt and betrayal that I don’t know if I can ever get past it.

  93. Christ follower

    January 14, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    *Some, not done :)

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