My Spirit Feels So Broken And My Faith Shaken

sad woman

Dear Praying Woman page, I’ve been following you for few of months now and it’s been such a blessing to me! I’m going through a very rough time at the moment and I was hoping that you would share my story anonymously on your page as I can use some guidance and prayers from your over 1 million followers. 17 months ago, at the age of 29, I married a Christian man who I thought loved me and I felt like he was the answer to my prayers. I forgave a lot of wrongdoings in his past, I left my family and friends and moved to his city 5 hours away excited to start our new life together. As soon as we were married, starting our honeymoon, he turned into a different person. Within the first week I was shaken so bad and so shocked by his actions that I regretted getting married. This was the first time I experienced marital abuse. His emotional abuse and manipulations continued throughout our 15 month long marriage. I tried everything I could think of and he wasn’t responding to anything. I was always to blame for everything, I wasn’t allowed to speak my thoughts and feelings and his idea of submission was completely controlling, dominating every aspect of my existence. If we went to counselling he would find faults with counselor and stop going after couple of sessions. If we were reading books he would find faults with the author or the advice and stop reading. And he blamed me constantly and put me down and treated me like inferior and an object through it all. I got more and more mentally and physically sick by his emotional abuse and finally after 15 months with the help of my family I packed up my belongings and drove 5 hours back to my parents house. I have since found out that he most likely suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder and all my efforts to get him to understand why I had to leave has lead into more arguments, more insults, more attacks and more accusations from him. My soul, my spirit feels so broken and my faith shaken. I’ve prayed and prayed and hoping God will show me the way or soften his heart. I truly believe there is a lot of darkness and evil taking hold of his heart and I don’t see much hope for reconciliation. I’m still recovering from the trauma of living with him for these 15 months and it’s hard because I had to leave my job over there and have been suffering financially as well as he cut me off right away.
Lately I feel like God must be angry at me, I’ve prayed so much about my situation.. I’ve asked everyone I meet to pray for me.. I even went searching online for websites that take prayer requests and asked them for prayers.. I feel like God has taken everything away from me and I’m at the lowest I’ve ever been. He took my marriage away, my job, friends, spirit and and any reason to live.. I know that I’m responsible for the decisions I’ve made in my life but I’ve asked for His guidance and help so much over the last few years and my situation just gets worse. Since I left my abusive marriage few months ago, I know that my abuser is having the time of his life, more money than he knows what to do with, all our belongings and he spread so much false negativity about me to everyone we knew to make himself feel better and make me look like the one at fault. He is living with friends who are barely out of high school and acting not as a Christian man should, getting involved in destructive activities that I won’t share here. I am left broken, broke and without support. I have college education yet I can’t get any employers to call me back and my prayers seem to go unanswered. The complete silence of God makes me wonder, have I been a bad Christian? Am I not deserving of His answers? Why is He letting me suffer so bad, while my abuser gets to have everything and get away with anything?

I truly would appreciate any guidance or advice on this as well as all your prayers.

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  1. Hi,
    First things first SHUT those voices in your head. SHUT them up. You are a very powerful being, a child of God the Almighty. I was fortunate enough to read this verses this morning:

    “Therefore do not worry about Tomorrow, for Tomorrow will worry about itself. each day has enough trouble of its own” – Matt 6:34

    “For God is our God for ever and ever; He will be our guide even to the end.” Psalms 48:14

    Do not be discouraged that this marriage did not work. honestly rather now then 10 years down the line. Please find comfort in prayer and scripture. He did not deserve you to begin with. Do not let the enemy in your head to take over your thoughts. I pray that you find healing and deliverance.

    This is a trial. Pray and prepare for victory. if you pray with negative doubts in your head about getting a job, it will hinder the outcome. Please let God guide your steps and your thoughts.

    Like Job the enemy is giving you a hard time. don’t let him steal you belief and joy.

    I pray you find peace, healing, love and a better job than before.

  2. I’ve already read that “God is not the author of confusion”, He is King of Peace. And that’s what you should remember. Don’t lean on your own understanding, cause God’s plans and thoughts are far above those we can imagine.
    I strongly believe that you’re on your way and don’t limit yourself by thinking as u wrote in last paragraph. God can’t forget, leave or forsake you. Look, you still have Hope in your heart and thats the sign of God’s Love to you.
    Don’t lie to yourself, see this situation as it is, but dedicate it all to Jesus Christ. There is time for everything: for crying too, but Joy will come. God’s doing something in you. Let me remind you that bad tree cannot give good fruit, so what is happening in your EX partner life is devil for sure. Don’t admire or long for devil, even if it seems so attractive or comfortable.
    This world belongs to God alone, even if looks so dark now, one right am sure: Truth reveals itself always, sooner or later. Don’t depend on what others say about you or you think they think. Constantly renew your thinking and don’t limit God. Search for silence and calm down in Jesus Christ presence.

    I pray for strenght, wisdom, forgiveness and shining, in Jesus name and through Jesus name. Amen.

  3. My dear sister in d Lord, don’t be discouraged, don’t be heart broken, don’t allow d devil to torment u. Remember Ps 30 v 15b – weeping may endureth till d night, but joy cometh in d morning. My dear read Ps 37 and see what d Lord said about evil/wicked people which yr ex-husband is one. God knows what u are goung through and He knows when to intervene. U just hold on to yr faith in Him, pray ceaselessly and believe dat He is there for u (if u can do it, fast and pray). D bible tells me dat things cannot be done without fasting and prayer, if u do this ALL things will fall to place – u’ll get happiness, joy, job and all u desire. Hold on to God, read d word (bible). God created u not for suffering but for unapeakable joy. Cheer up girl God is on yr side.

  4. Several days ago I read a poster that says sometimes God calms the storms, sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child. You are His child and even though He may seem to be silent, you are not alone. God knows that whatever you are going through you can handle it. Don’t be distracted or discouraged, my mum always says the teacher is ways silent during the test. Keep the faith, keep holding on, I promise it will get better. God is near.

  5. Dear sister, first of all God loves you like no man does. Resist the devil and his works concerning you ex. God has the best for you and He is preparing you for the greatest. Remember there is no testimony without test. All your need will surely be supplied just lean on Him. Forgive your ex and still pray for his salvation. Commune with the Lord and read the scriptures. Hold unto His promises for you; Listen He honor His word above His name. You will surely laugh at last. The Lord will uphold you and bless you.

  6. God is never far off from you so don’t take that lie in. just spend time in recovery. you can recover. spend time with Jesus , and go for walks and friends who are meant to be there will show up. get linked to a christian councelor if you can and get it out of your system. try to forgive and love him, and yourself , but from a distance. focus on getting your life back on track. God will give you work when you are ready. have faith. big hugs.

  7. Please know that everything bad that has happened to you is not from God. Although God allows us to go through difficult times he does not create them. We have an enemy and we followers of Christ are his target. God loves you and he does not stop loving you because you have been a *bad christian*. He WILL answer your prayers. Not always when we want him to but he will. Don’t give up on God, it’s exactly what the enemy wants. Keep on praying, keep on asking and you will see God come through for you.

  8. Don’t give up…God will never ever leave you. He is always there and always on time. I need to take heed to my own advice as well. Continue praying and doing good things. He will show up and show out.

    • Boipelo; God is always there, what you see as terrible is just the tip of it all; for instance having a neck brace from accident is a sign that indeed God was by your side; for you could have died but he ensured no matter what you stay alive. Walk tall, knowing he is indeed besides you through it all!!


  10. You are at the right path, you left him, ur building your life n have repent your faults. Now you need to act right, which is to love him as a child of god and forgive him for hurting you. Let go of the hurt and pain (I know it’s easier said than done) and choose to leave your life as a good person with good attitudes and good heart. NEVER FORGET that we cause the consequences in our lives and not God. HE is good and just.. Will never allow his child to suffer unjustly. Be conscious of all your actions because they have reactions! Live all as yourself! Amem n god bless!

  11. In everything God is working for your good. While your situation is not good he is still working to bring about a good purpose and plan for your life. The presence of troubles does not mean God is punishing you, and the presence of grace in our lives does not mean the absence of trouble. Keep your head up nothing can seperate you from the love of God!!!!

  12. Thank God for what he will bless you and you have not yet seen. Be patient and faithful.
    After reading, please know that God does not bless the prodigal son with wealth. The prodigal son must return to God and ask forgiveness for the gift of eternal life. The poor and meek who seek Christ, ask Him into their heart, and live a faithful life will be blessed with eternal life. Keep praying with patience and Thank Him in advance. Your day will come.

  13. I have great compassion for you, since I also was in an emotionally abusive marriage too. It took me almost 40 years to find the strength to leave. After divorcing him once and then we both were saved and remarried, I thought that would fix us. Wrong!! He was still the same, and had PTSD from Viet Nam too.

    God loves us so much. He will be there with healing in His wings, I know this first hand. Yes it is painful to walk through this season, but allow yourself to grieve the loss. Cry and scream from the depths of your soul all the anguish you feel. Get it out. Trust that God will heal your heart and provide for you. You do need some time to heal though.

    This is your new beginning and God will not let you down!!

    • Debbie – your story could be mine, although I’ve been married 13 years to my husband. I meet him online and we hit it off instantly. He was a wonderful kind, caring man and once we were together he changed completely. He too is very abusive. Verbally all the time & physically some of the time.

      And there are definitely times I feel God is not hearing me cry. It does me good to read these stories and reaffirm my faith. I just lost my job last Friday and of course he is on my case to get another job immediately. He hasn’t worked in 10 years & will never work again. With his mental condition I was at least able to get him on disability so there is a little money coming in but I am the bread winner. So while I know I need to find a job, I have him reminding all day long. I am praying something happens for me quickly. Of course, corporations do not share my sense of urgency.

      I thank you and all the others for the forum where we can express our feeling since we certainly can’t do that at home! I will pray for all of you & ask that you do the same for me.

    • This like so many above is my story God is also showing me had will not change I can pray for his salvation but ten years four seperation, two kids later still happening, getting out

  14. Praying with you my sister. Please listen to cece winans song ‘well alright’ i listen to the song whenever im down and the words give me strength.

  15. Whn i rd my bible in d book of james1:2-3 it says “count it all joy, whnever u face trials of many kinds, because u knw tht the testng of ur faith develops perseverance,, perseverance must finish its work so tht u may be matured n cmplt, nt lacking anythng” be patient my sistr dht challleng isnt ment 2 kill u, bt God is training u thrugh dht trial,, n u gona conquer thru christ wu gvs u strength,,, God loves u,, stay blessd

  16. As righteous as we could possibly be, we still are not worthy of His forgiveness and His blessings. You need to look past what your husband says you are/were and look at what God says you are. You are a child of the King! Remember that, sometimes, people are brought into out life for only a season. You may not realize it but you may have been put in his path to plant a seed. (seeds take time to grow) Read this article about God’s silence: I pray God’s blessings over you! In Jesus name!!

  17. My sister u are adaughter of a most high God our daddy loves u so much dont give up ,im keeping you in my prayers i pray that our father in heaven will give you peace in your heart in jesus name.

  18. My story is almost identical to yours but I was with my abuser or 15 years and my family thinks he can do no wrong. We have 6 kids together….
    This past august he threw me out kept the kids from me and cut me off from everyone and everything
    Now the Texas court thought the abusive husband and neglectful father was a better support for our children
    Now my kids are going through the same mental abuse as I, and still continue to do.
    Yes I had nothing but through God,still have a lot to be thankful for. I continue to fight for my kids and for my freedom!!!
    I pray that any woman that has gone or continues to go through this finds peace through Christ our Lord.

  19. The reason that U feel so bad about yourself is bc he destroyed your self esteem. That’s what ppl like that do to mk themselves feel better. Let him say what he will, real friends won’t believe it and who cares what anybody else thinks. It seems really hard right now bc U have just, “stepped out of the boat” but things will get better. U got out bf he killed U. That mks all the difference in the world. Some ppl aren’t quite that lucky. Hang in there and b blessed

  20. Hello Anonymous,

    First let me say that if you have ended a marriage (for any reason) and you feel like a piece of you has died you more than likely have done right by your marriage. Your low feeling is just evidence that you fully committed yourself to something and now it is just hard to let go of something that was truly apart of you. In this case you are stuck with one half of yourself and now have to take the time to re-build yourself whole again. I can only imagine how many times you’ve heard this and rolled your eyes – but please believe that this fall will only make you stronger. The strength you will have to stand up for yourself, the wisdom you will have in choosing the real man for you, and the compassion you will gain for others who you can recognize this feeling in will be the seeds for your future and stronger self. God has not forgot. It may seem like your husband is out having the time of his life, but trust me he is dealing with some devices also because as we sow, so shall we reap. Hang in there, be patient, work hard, and have faith (even little faith). It will all workout for the good as long as you continue to love Christ. Stay in prayer, go to church, surround yourself with ministry even when it hurts too bad. The change will come. I am a witness and my testimony is similar to your present state. You will be in my prayers. Love you sister.

  21. I will be praying for you, I understand what you are going through and feel the same ways you do. I pray for answers and feel like I get nothing. But I have to stay focused on prayer and scripture even when I fear that all is lost. Your post and all the replies are helpful. We can overcome these trials!!

  22. You have to understand that God knows everything we are going through he knows before it even happen. Remember no cross, no crown. There are time in life when we all have to go through the storm. Even though it doesn’t seems like God is there, he is. He may not come when we want him to, but he always knows when to step in. Keep talking to God because he hear you. He is standing right there by your side. I am going through some things myself right now. Sometimes, I feel like he is not listening to me and why I am going through what I’m going through. Then I think about the goodness of God and have he has brought me out of so many situations before. I know I’m going through a storm right now, and I praise God for this storm because in the end, I will come out on top in the name of Jesus. Just remember that God sent his son to show us the way, and he gave his only son life to save us from our own sin. That is a powerful God and he is a God who love us all. Just keep holding to God unchanging hands because a change is about to happen to you soon. In Jesus name it is spoken and it will happen. Don’t lose the faith because his grace and mercy is always with us.

  23. Dear girl, the first time I ended up in front of a couch i.e. in therapy was for dating a narcissist. Funny thing a friend have me a book Help me I am in love with a narcissist. It’s a great book these random acts are God talking to me. He had everything I thought I had asked God for. One year later I thought I was crazy, He lied, He went silent couldn’t keep a promise. I tried to be accommodating he had issues.

    Then remembered the book and read and re-read and researched but somehow I still thought it was my fault. Yes I am born again I even bargained with God.

    Narcissism is actually treated as a mental health problem stemming sometimes from childhood. But long story short I said Lord I knew you warned me I reasoned like Eve then help me get out of this. It was so bad he changed his route I thought I was being stalked, He crossed the street when he saw me wanting a reaction.

    I still prayed to get vengeance but that is not God’s way it was toforgive him until he said I had misunderstood his actions and the lioness roared I am miss and I understood. Dating a narcissist is horrendous and painful cycle. My take keep talking to God get a counsellor and start your healing process because they suck the life out of you. You second guess yourself. I promise it well get better do your part God will take care of the rest. Been single for three years and I got my bounce back. Praying for you.

    Hope it helps a bit of natural and super and you get super natural results. Ps you decide whether to take him back if ever ifJesus talks to you like Paul at Damascus

  24. Honey, I feel for you I really do. You’re in such a dark place and have been for quite a while. But God had not abandoned you, He is not punishing you. Sometimes our own voice in our head drowns out His gentle words, and affirming whispers of encouragement. I believe Psm 1 is meant for you at this time. Believe it or not, you will bear much fruit, and don’t forget ‘there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.’ Let go and look up; Praise God with tears running down your cheeks; shout and cry out at Him…He’s a big God and can take it! Fall asleep exhausted until the pain subsides and your heart at last finds Peace…You are a daughter of the Most High and you need your Heavenly Father right now more than ever before x God bless Sweety x

  25. I’ve been in a similar situation. As a Christian after problems I encountered, first I asked God’s forgiveness and to soften my heart so I could get back to a trusting and loving person. I went down on my knees and humbled myself to The Lord. Asked him to heal my heart so it would not be so cold with hurt, anger and fear. I’m sure you have all this inside you. The only way to get rid of it is to ask God to take it from you and give you peace and warmth. He will do this. Remember don’t be angry with God. He is not doing this to you. Satan is intervening and you have got to tell Satan to get behind you and leave. Know that God is there always. Hand everything over to him and will take care of it. Once you hand it over to him to do his will do your best to leave it in his hands. Once you do this you will feel a burden lifted from your shoulders. Maybe not everything will seem peachy at first, but give God his timing and you will see what he can do. Keep your faith child of God. He will never forsake or leave you. He loves you more than any human being on earth could ever love you. Prayers for you and for your ex as he definitely is in need of prayer. God. Bless you.

  26. Sister in Christ, I am young but let me speak my heart. We go throught things in life and God permits certain things to happen knowing that He gave us strength. What you went through is truly unfair but why would the devil fight your marriage if he did not fear the combination? Couples mostly forsake fellowship and that’s where doors are open. My prayer for you is that if God wants you to be with him, let it be so. If this was a test and training, may you both come out as gold. I wish he could imitate Christ as a godly man so that u can submit to him as to Christ. If God wants u back there, be obedient. Even Christ came back to the same disciples who betrayed Him. 1 Corinthians 13….. Confess it and say “I am patient, I am kind….etc” you are LOVE

  27. I would like share something. I was married last yr in May. I thought he was the one to, his true colors came out quick after being married. Some of the things happen to me being describe in this story. I was always the blame for everything and the last straw was when he tried to put his hands on me in Oct. i was stuck paying evertyhing until this day. I didnt know where to turn and he told me horrible things for being a christain and about church. I still held on to God. I was broken and my spirit was also broken and unable to find peace or smile again. I cried out to God and He was there with love. My self being was taken from me. One morning getting up I look in the mirror and God spoke to me. You created in my image. I broke in tears. I started loving myself again and smile again. I overcame the little time of what I went threw to becoming an OVERCOMER THROW CHRIST. will be praying for you

  28. All in God’s time honey, God is going to restore all that you have lost but you first need to forgive your husband and pray for God’s will over your life, God’s still on the throne, he’s in full control of your life, be still and listen to what he’s trying to tell you and do in your life. You are going to get through this and share a great testimony of how God fought for you. It is well.

  29. Know that the enemy is trying to make you feel bad. God is a God of love and He loves us no matter what. I too have been in a few abuser relationships and know that God was the one who brought me out due to one time I was choked to the point of passing out. So please don’t reveive any of the lies from satan. I want to pray for you: Lord I come in your mighty and wonderful name asking you Lord to forgive us of any sins we have committed sins we committed knowing and unkowing. Lord I pray for my dear sister today that she founds strength and understanding. Lord I know that it is hard for us as humans to pray and wait for an answer but please Lord allow us to continue to put our trust and faith in you. Please Lord God give my sister protection in this situation. You know her Lord because you made her and you know she need at this very hour, at this very minute. Lord I ask that you provide that for her. Give her comfort in her heart to know that you are still there and that you are loving her through all of this. In Jeus mighty name Amen!

  30. My dear.
    You bare not alone
    I have been dating someone who is similar in many ways without physical abuse there has been emotional abuse..
    I have gotten lots of help and continue to see him but have created very healthy boubdries

    Its not perfect and being a christian woman I have some lots of growing painful growing.

    I lits everything from all my belongings to friends I was isolated.I had not food no car no job to get anything..I felt just like u…

    I read a book that changed my life called conflict free living..
    Then read the battle belongs to the lord
    God is not mad at u is another
    then to the gift giver and I continue to submerge my self into gods word as its the truth
    Many say I’m crazy many say he lies and were told people will be deceiving..

    Our job is easy only to trust the lord
    I’m learning gods love is far greater then ever before…
    That I never knew..I’ as I have learned some of us Dont get what we want right away we get what we need…its for a purpose…carefully planned out..

    U r loved so much ..keep ur head up take this time to knowreally its there

  31. Exactly my story, I also am in the same place. Keep the faith and declare the chains of bandage be broken in the name of Jesus. Agreeing with you and standing firm in the truth. Give God the glory and honor and praise.

  32. Let me start by reminding you that God does not forsake you nor does he abandon you. Your prayers have not fallen on deaf ears its just not the time yet for that which he has planned for you. I’m not sure what exactly you are praying for but I remind you that you should aim for it to be His will in your life and that your desires would line up accordingly. Also keep in mind that God puts us through the test to develop our testimony and as hard as it is it can serve his purpose if you allow it to. Your ex is getting the good life right now because from the around of it what he has here will be he closest he gets to heaven so God is being merciful on him but don’t worry because ultimately we all get what we sow. I pray for Gods guidance for you and that his hand would comfort you that you would see your self as he sees you and realize how special you are. I pray that your steps would be lined up to his path and that all you desire will be even to you according to his will. May you find assurance in him and keep going forward allowing His light to shine through you. God bless.

  33. This made me cry. I haven’t gone through your pain but I often feel alone and like God has forgotten about me then I look at all that I have and realize how blessdd I am. I am a single mom, my daughters father is not involved at all, and I just recently lost my job. I find myself getting worried about rent, bills, etc then I remember that God has always been there when I needed him most. I was suicidal for awhile and one day I sat and in detail thought about the way I would kill myself. Thank God I never went through with it. We have to look at our situations from God’s eyes sometimes. You were in a bad marriage for 15 months and He gave you the strength to leave. He made sure you were able to move with your family and He made sure you were safe. That is praise worthy in itself. God is preparing you for something and someone better. Pray and get closer to God. Look at your situation and be thankful you left after 15 months and not 15 years. The devil wants you to think you are unworthy of Gods mercy, forgiveness, and blessings. Don’t give the devil what he wants, give God what he wants. He wants a relationship with you, He wants you to know you are loved, and He wants you to know you are forgiven. You will be in my prayers. I look forward to hearing your praise report soon :)

  34. Dear Sister, I once knew someone who did this to a loving Christian woman. The guy used to go to bed with loads of women, drank and did drugs, went to bars and clubs and rumour had it, he did some strange stuff. He could not commit to a women. Then one day, he decided to go to church and through a dance, he met this nice Christian woman. He stopped drinking and changed his life. He used to call her his angel. He was looking for someone to save him (in this case, it was a good woman). To make this short, he asked her to marry him and wedding was being planned. Few months before the wedding, he had a fight with his father and it set things of again. The girl married the guy but she divorced him ( her mothers advice) and annual the marriage. If you are saying he is acting like someone that does not go to church, sounds to me, who was playing ‘Christian’ with you. Satan used this man to deceive you. God has not desert you. You trusted this person and they lied to you. Do not beat yourself because you based your decision to marry this man on a lie (he made) (which you were unaware of. Look back at your relationship and see if there were warning signs that you might have missed. It sounds like you still have contact with the man, cut off all contact. In Psalm 37, it says do not worry about those that ‘appear to be’ prospering in their way (ie your ex husband) . Please read 37 God has a message for you regarding to evil prospering in their way . It was a comfort for me when I was deceived and betrayed by someone on my job. Ask God for strength and peace in your heart. Do not look at what you see now around you, Satan is counting on it to chip away at your faith. There are believers here that are praying for you including me. Put on the whole armour of God, read the word like you eat your meals. God is not mad at you or punishing you,it is the biggest lie from the enemy.

  35. Though we are strangers in life we are identical to our situation. My story is I was with my soon to be ex husband for 15 years and married 13 and we had 6 kids together. The abuse started right away but wasn’t as fortunate as you to have the family that you have, mine sees him as he is perfect and if he was bad in any way it was my fault.
    After many many please of trying to work out our marriage i finally asked for a divorce and started planning my life, which he soon threw me out of the house with nothing not even letting me have our children.
    I had been a house wife for just about the entire 15 years now he put me on the curb taking everything an everyone away from me.
    Went to the courts an obviously the Texas court system thought an abusive husband an neglectful father was better for our kids, again was put on the curb.
    Now my kids are suffering at the same hands I did , no one wants to hear our story … Not til woman and children of abusers are the news are we heard but then it’s too late.
    I pray for you and all woman of abuse past present and future that god shows us the way.
    As I look to God my father through my storm i hope peace and happiness you found at the end of yours.
    May God always Bless you

  36. Dear Father, I ask right now that you pull this lovely daughter into your armas and show her you love her with an unending love. May she feel your warm embrace around her and I also pray for a hedge of protection around her to repel the darts of doubt and fear. Show her once again that YOU are her husband and provider. And give her peace in her heart that all will be as you have promised for her good in time. Thank you Jesus that you have said you have sent us a comforter in these times of distress… He is there so close to your ear letting you know when his child is hurting. So come Holy Spirit in a real way to this one and others that are feeling lost in their lives. Let them see YOU Lord and may they glorify YOU through their suffering.

  37. Praying for you….keep drawing to God. He has a Him. I know it’s hard but one day you will look back on this & be able to help someone else. Stay in the Scriptures. God is there for us even while He’s quiet.

  38. Remember the story of David. He actually killed a man and lusted afte his wife and God still didnt leave his side or stop loving him. God is preparing you for something great, just trust in Him. Sometimes God let’s us fall so far that we can only look up toward Him. Ive been there where you are and I have a daughter with that man. God is preparing in me a wonderful testimony and my faith wouldn’t be as strong as it is today if God hadn’t allowed me to make the decisions that I did to end up in that situation.

  39. My dear Girl, you sound so much like me…. I didn’t get married but I fell in love with someone who I met under devastating circumstances just over 3.5 yrs ago… I was in hell for 4 years, and then I did the right thing, and during this 3.5 yrs he was my rock, and despite knowing what he is like, I fell in love with him…. when this thing we were involved in came to an end, he said he had to sort himself out before we got together… so I let him go, and each and every day I pray to God for his soul to turn from satan and to God and for him to open his heart and heal, so we may have a chance together… this thing caused me to lose all my friends, lifestyle, health, finances, and my career and reputation in ruins…. I have tried to restore things or make new things and I too pray to God for that every day, but yet God stays silent in my life…. I am a broken person… so many people said it’s taught you strength, but I was a strong person before this… they said its taught you humility and to be a better person, but I was already that before this… so many times I have wished I was dead instead of this girl, because I am the one who is in the sustained hell…. but one thing I do know about all of this, as long as you do keep talking to God you still have faith and hope in Him even if he is silent…. I guess where it says in the bible even if you have the faith of a mustard seed God can move mountains…. I wish I could tell you why God is silent, and I wish I had that answer for me, all I know is if I don’t keep talking to him, God won’t answer me… if that makes any sense… please take care and I will keep you in my prayers xxoo

  40. I believe that in every storm there is a lesson. When we feel like we’re going through hell, it is because that’s what is between us and what we need. We may never look back and see how God was putting us where we needed to be and teaching us something we need to know to get there, but faith is trusting that He is doing so. I can think of a thousand things He may be showing you, but it’s not mine to understand your path. One lesson I learned during a dark, dark time was that I do not know what tomorrow will bring. It’s a lesson I hadn’t thought about much lately, so thank you for bringing it back to the front of my mind.

    I do have one more bit of advice. Find someone else to help. Especially if you can’t find a job, volunteer for something. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Shovel someone’s walk. Offer to baby sit for a family that’s struggling so mom can have some time for herself. Go work at the local food bank or Salvation army. . The best way I know to rediscover your self worth is to do something valuable for someone else who has no hope of paying you back.

  41. I also went through the same situation as you. First I want to say that God only wants the best for his people. Also you can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped. That was a season in your life that needed to end. Sometimes when we face difficult situations in our lives it’s not that God is mad at us.. It’s simply God forming our character. Without a test.. There’s no testimony.. Without a mess there’s no message. It’s a new season in your life. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all his righteousness and all things will be added unto you. Be Blessed

  42. Detach with love, get into a Christian therapist that helps in assisting your mind understand narcissism and co dependency. God will set you free. Right now is an act of faith. “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord; Plans for a to prosper you and do no harm. Plans for a future and a hope.”

  43. As a mental health therapist I felt compelled to reply, first let me say you are not the cause of someone’s mental health especially a personality disorder. Secondly, this is not something you can just pray away so that the person will be who you want them to be. If your husband actually does have a personality disorder….he will require long term therapy and a willingness to change in addition to prayer. Those things he must have, you can not have them for him. God is not punishing you, He is revealing things to you that He wants you to see about your husband. So in essence, God is protecting you. I encourage you to accept God’s protection and trust that He does not want you in an abusive relationship with a mentally unhealthy person. Pray for your husband but do not take ownership of his mental health issues and please do not blame God for revealing the truth to you and providing you protection in the form of an out. Also I challenge you to pray on the spirit of pride that has deceived you into believing you are a victim and your husband is a victor. Just my opinion…be blessed

  44. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10 NIV)

    The enemy is trying to steal the joy God has given you. You still have soooooo much to be thankful for.

    I understand that having to leave a marriage does not always feel the best, but God wouldn’t have allowed you to walk away if it wasn’t for your good. God protected you by allowing your family to come and rescue you from an abusive relationship that was not getting any better. God brought counselors, books, etc. into your marriage to help improve it but each time your husband decided to find a flaw, which we know God has no flaws. After God realized that your husband was not going to get better, He made plans for you to leave because God knew He didn’t want you there right now because He does love you.

    God show’s how much He loves you each day by having your family there for you, that is Gods blessing to you. There are people that get into abusive relationships and have no way out except shelters so I would say God is pouring His love out on you but you have to open your eyes to it.

    God doesn’t want you to focus on what your husband is doing or even saying about you because at the end of the day God knows the truth and that’s all that matters.

    You need to focus on the positivity in the midst of the negativity. If you want change and be able to truly feel Gods love for you, you must throw out the negativity because that is how the enemy is getting into your daily life. Trust in The Lord always because He will get you through.

  45. I can relate to your situration,I myself had been in an emotional abusive relationship I spend 12year on and off in that relationship hoping that things would get better praying to god that things would change that god would give husband a soft heart.I ask god that same questions you are asking now.but know answer came I though god had given up on me.until last year I decided to leave am much happier I learn how to love myself and appreciate myself and grow in god.I can not change my husband I learn that if he don’t want the help I can’t make him want it he have to want it him self.jeremiah 29:11 for I know the plans I have for you declares the lord plans to proper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope and a future,I hope this helps praying for you

  46. Firstly, would like to clarify that ” God is love, 1 John 4:8″
    He is right there besides you, working the situation to turn out for your good. In all situations refuse to focus on your situation but stand firmly and anchor yourself in God’s word! Believe that God is good and you are his beloved and he will not let your enemies triumph over you. The bible says no one who trusts in The Lord has ever been put to shame! Believe, trust and have faith that God will lift you out of your situation! Don’t believe what the devil is showing you, fix your eyes on Jesus the author and finisher of our faith!

  47. Dear sister in Christ ,
    I too am currently in an abusive marriage to a man who has a mental illness. I feel as you felt that God doesn’t hear my prayers. I have been in it for. over 10 years now. I have been praying that God will release me from this marriage. I have left several times but always returned because I was trying to keep the house I was buying & get. started elsewhere. I won’t to into details but I almost gave until I went to church & heard the pastor say that God knows what we are. going through & that be has made a way of escape & I knew that word was for me ! God was still with me working in my situation on my behalf. I dont know when my break threw. is coming but I do know that the devil is aliar!! So.

  48. I feel like this article is written about me. He was a preacher, a missionary, a marriage counselor….. bla bla bla…. DEMONS plural. Drugs, another woman, mental, emotional and physical abuse, inappropriate actions toward teens…while holding the bible in his hand.
    Yes, I stood and prayed and sought council, loved unconditionally and always respected him…And when he totally destroyed me and my relationship with God, I divorced him. Yet I feel I am being punished. Beyond the consequences of marrying the wrong man….
    I read over and over His word and His promises…..yet I can’t find them…. Or HIM…. Yet giving up is not an option. Ever heard of a Christian Zombie ? That’s how I feel. I need to learn my lesson quick! My Redeemer needs to come rescue me or come get me.

  49. Dear sister in Christ ,
    I too am currently in an abusive marriage to a man who has a mental illness. I feel as you felt that God doesn’t hear my prayers. I have been in it for. over 10 years now. I have been praying that God will release me from this marriage. I have left several times but always returned because I was trying to keep the house I was buying & get. started elsewhere. I won’t to into details but I almost gave until I went to church & heard the pastor say that God knows what we are. going through & that be has made a way of escape & I knew that word was for me ! God was still with me working in my situation on my behalf. I dont know when my break threw. is coming but I do know that the devil is aliar!! So I will pray for you &please pray for me.

  50. Be resilience like the palm tree. The palm tree weathers the storm then grows from the experience. It takes a beating in that storm but knows it will soon end and will be able to stand tall once again. We never know why God has things happen in our lives but it is all for his master plan. I was in a similar situation, it took some time to heal but don’t give up on God. Bless this mess! You are strong just don’t loose your faith. Remember God will show up in HIS way not yours. Prayers can do miracles but you have to believe! God Bless you!

  51. I was in a similar situation. I can relate with your pain, but I cannot feel what you are feeling. We sometimes underestimate God’s power. It not when we want it. God’s timing is perfect and “when you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you.”

  52. Dear Sister, know that u are loved, and that GOD loves you more than anyone ever….HIS love would crush us if we exp the fullness of HIM. Do know the enemy is a liar, he wants you to believe GOD is not listening or at work on your behalf…. DO not listen to that garbage? speak out loud the truth…..speak out loud that you TRUST in HIM, trust HIM thru this storm! rebuke the enemy and put him behind you? let the Holy Spirit renew your mind and fill it w truth. Be still and release control….it’s hard but GOD will take the wheel and give u peace.Pray, pray, pray! Pray for your ex as well, even though you may not want to….speak positive words, keep positive thoughts, claim that God is going to do amazing things every day and watch for it! I am so sorry you are hurting, do know what it feels like to be betrayed and abandoned, along w other things….God NEVER fails and HE will not fail u!!!!! Perservrere!!!!! Press on and keep looking up…..I will be praying for u!!!
    Do not let the enemy use your spirit as a garbage dump, think positive, think Jesus! HE is the way! truth and the life!!!!!

  53. When I first started reading is was as though someone was telling my own personal story. The difference is I stayed for many years. And I had children in the mix which only served as another pawn against me for him to use. What I can tell you is that I have been away from him for several years now and I know who I am. Sister, you are dearly loved by God. He does hear your cries. Get plugged in to a church. Larger congregation is likely better because they have more ministries. Get a divorce. I do not believe for one minute He is truly saved. Get into the word of God and read for yourself how GOD commands a man to treat his wife. Your description and my own, of our husbands treatment are clearly contrary to how wives are to be treated. Here is your consolation. Vengeance belongs to JESUS and HE WILL REPAY. As the head of the woman, the husband is to love her like Christ loves the church. That does not include being abused. We do not serve an abusive God. We serve a gentle, just, loving, patient, long suffering, merciful Lord. I am so proud of you for getting out now. I wish I would have had the courage to do the same. The sooner you escape, the fewer scars you will have to heal. Get a book called Boundaries. Read it. Whatever you do, do not return. You can pray for him but do not return. I know it feels like he is winning and you are losing, but I PROMISE you, in time, things will do a 180. Praying for your blessing. Don’t give up on the job search. It will happen. While it feels like you are being punished I assure you, that while you cannot see it, God is at work on your behalf. Stand on HIS promises in scripture. I will never leave you or forsake you. In all your ways acknowledge God and he will direct your path. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. He has plans to give you hope and a future! Pray scripture back to God when you are crying out to HIM. Praying for you! :)

    • Bless you…I feel your pain…head up and know that you are loved and prayed for…God loves us and will never leave us…His path only He knows and I trust in that path now more than ever…His will be done…Our children deserve much better models to live by! God’s will be done! Praise the Lord!

  54. Your husband sounds like my ex-fiancé. I eventually realized that he’s a narcissist as well. It takes time, but the pain will pass. At least you left him… Mine left me for another girl smh. I was devastated. I couldn’t believe it! He was just like your husband, blamed me for everything smh. Nothing was ever his fault. When he left, I was by myself thinking I was a bad, intolerable person. It’s only God that put my mind back in tact. Trust The Lord, he’ll repair you :-)

  55. Mind on OVER load. ..shoulders weighing heavy…tears non-flowing …feeling all alone…hurting on the inside but smiling on outside. ..lost deep in these feelings that I can’t find myself..Lord I come to YOU asking for peace …please put me back to my normal self!!! THANK YOU JESUS! ! AMEN

  56. My sister,

    I understand where you’re coming from and feeling. Although my wife didn’t have any mental problem she did things to destroy our marriage, even stepping out not once but twice. For me I took my marriage seriously and forgave her but all she did was throw her affairs in my face.

    I felt like God was punishing me for what I didn’t know. Lost my family, my job, my car, my everything. While she was gaining in every since.

    One day I had to realize that God had to allow me to go threw to strengthen me in him. To let me know that He is in control.

    So, my sister I say hold on to Gods up changing hand and don’t let go. He will without a doubt bring you threw stronger than ever.
    I’ll be praying your strength in The Lord.

  57. I’m going up he brutal- stop focusing on him- focus on you and u will see change. He won’t change. He is having a ball? Karma is a b!tch, he will one day realise but not now while he knows you are suffering. Take back your power!!! And say to God: please take this, it’s too much for me, I can’t, once u give it to him, your path of life will change- your pah. U too consumed about him, that’s y your doors are not opening. Trust me I’m going thru this myself, for a 2nd time.

  58. We have to be strong and live, and have a strong will to live. Do not dwell on your pain and sorrow, someone has it worse than you would you believe that or not. God is of love and forgiveness, don’t be negative and don’t say never negative things in your life. Your mind is a very powerful tool if you let it run away with it. Don’t say I can’t do this, or my pain is worse than anyone . Your mind will convince you of the worst things if you allow it. Remain steadfast and strong in your will. Amen

  59. I have to run right now! I want you all to know. Whomever it is that I will begin to pray right now for “Brokenness”!

  60. In these times you will be built a new stronger more faithful person, stay strong, keep the faith, and GROW… #PrayersUp

  61. Well said sometimes it’s a struggle to remember this fact of truth when your hiring and stressed but never the less it’s just that the Truth! And I do my best to remember that…

  62. Get out now God has let it be revealed to you that he is a narrcasist. They never change. The ones that use God to capture and keep you are going to pay big time come judgment day.

  63. I know how you feel as I to am in your shoes so to speak. But keep your head held high and let God shine down on you! :)

  64. We may become weak during those times, and feel that god isn’t paying us no mind. He is just preparing us of a blessing that he has for us. Cry if you must, it’s a cleansing process in making us stronger. GOD LOVES YOU.

  65. I feel the same way too. Just trying not to give up my faith. Praying for answers & strength. I pray for everyone who has hurt me & working on forgiveness. I find that if we don’t forgive them & ourselves it makes the pain stay longer

  66. You made the right choice in leaving him. Pray for him, forgive him so that you can start healing.
    I feel from what I’ve read, your so focused on HEARING God, or not hearing Him.
    I understand your pain, but the more we give the pain attention the more your feeding the enemy!!!
    Today is a new day forgive yourself for hanging on to this pain, forgive your husband or ex husband, make the choice to forgive him for all of the abuse he placed upon your mind, body, Soul and spirit, call him up and say I forgive for EVERYTHING blaming, hitting, everything. Do not listen to anything bad he has to say.
    Be the better Christian, god loves you , he is always with you, and sometimes we are so wrapped up in our misery that we don’t see the direction god is pointing us in. He lead you here , he heard you loud and clear , now listen to him, it may not be what you want or think , that’s our problem as humans we want it our way right now. It doesn’t happen that way.
    I pray that peace washes over you and freedom rings

  67. you have alot to prove and repair god for all of the damage of your trials and harm on my life prove yourself through action you are faithful

  68. I’ve been there for 10 years, when my abuser get a great life and I left all alone with nothing. At those times, the story of Job inspired me. How he react to his disaster. He said, do we just want to take the good but not the bad from God ? God gives and God takes, holy be His name ! I didn’t understand why God gave him a great life and gave me 10 years in solitude without nothing ! Now I do ! He brought me to the desert because He want to get me alone to speak to me about a lot of things ! Turns out He need me for special task and want to rescue me from all temporary earthly things to the point that I fully realize He alone is ALL I need. He asked me one day in my room : rose, if I will be the only thing you have in your entire life, will I be enough for you ?? After a while I be able to answer Him back : yes, You alone are more than enough !
    Dear lady, if God put you aside from everything means He want to get your full attention, means that you’re born for a very special purpose and you are His special daughter and special soldier ! Please be calm and find out what it is He want say to you ! May you be blessed with strength and love if God ! xxx

  69. Don’t divorce, God is faithful seek Him in truth and spirit and read the Bible as much as you can. God loves you, He is your loving father and He will deliver you from the marital problems, trust in Him, just trust Him. If you don’t dare to be with him in the same house then allow the distance but right now know that God Loves You, ask for Him to give you the Holy Spirit to guide you. May God bless you and keep you, I pray for you tonight.

  70. Please talk to god on a regular and keep the faith. I have experienced a similar situation and I am still healing from it but with my faith in god, my talks with god and constant prayers I am overcoming and defeating the devil!!!

  71. Keep your faith in God he loves you more than you know . Sometimes he gives us what we really want and start making that thing or person more praise than him so because he is a jealous God he may remove somethings or people so that he receive the glory out of our lives again.

  72. Have Faith in God. He will help you get through this and begin your life anew. My daughter went through the same type abusive relationship and has two children. There are therapist that specialize in the type of therapy you need to help you through the recovery process after sustaining that type of abuse.

  73. Psalms 17:15 As for me, I will behold thy face in righteousness: I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness.

  74. Hes not happy. Hes not getting away with anything. Hes suffering. He lost his family but b4 u came along he already had issues. He wasnt honest with u or himself in the very beginning before marriage. He needs to ask God for forgiveness, not jus for how he’s treating u but to forgive the one(s) who hurt him. Hes in pain. Hes a Christian man needing to forgive. It might not happen over night but God is awesome He can do exceedingly things.

  75. it’s not gods fault. there’s a word called being patient. a female pastor waited 9 years to meet her hubby. it was in gods time not hers. this husband was never gods plan. we as humans rush..we aren’t to care what we shall eat or drink it’s all in him ..x

  76. just went thru a 20 yr. marriage/ now divorce. Started off rocky afrer 1yr. Went to abusing animals to the children to me. He played the I an saved gane with me. Then it was f. go

  77. cont. game…correction…then he said f God…he cussed like crazy….hit all my doors in with his fist…then he said no to going to church…then he cheated on me….I am 1 yr divorced. Been through all the emotions. See a lot of blessings but am very lonely for the one God has for me. Very hard waiting and waiting. I sometimes dont think I can go on or make it. I have been even angry at God. im still here. trying to keep my faith and hope alive.

  78. My dear sister, dont ever give up and give the devil the victory and satisfaction. .that’s all he is looking for. God is faithful and He will never leave you nor forsake you! Trust me I’ve been where you are before whem I thought God did not care but you will be amazed that He is quietly working behind the scenes . Your faith is being tested and you are about to break forth and shine! Just wait on God and see! The dark clouds will pass and the sun will rise again! Read Isaiah 40:8 -13 over and over. It is well and I will stand in prayer with you!

  79. I am going thru a bad time at work. Will throw in my letter today. It is sad that it is a fellow Christian who is persecuting me. I pray for her to hv peace. As for me, God is with me n I will hv no fear for my future.

  80. Continue to pray and realize that the enemy fears women and will do whatever in his power to take you away from belief in God. Hang in there, and pray as often as necessary. IT may not seem like iti but God is always there, you just sometimes have to get the negative out so you can hear him. Blessings and prayer to you!

  81. We can’t see what good can come of the dark times, but God doesn’t want use to focus on our storm. Look beyond your circumstances, don’t focus on the have nots. God is with you. Attend to the needs of others. God will bless you. We can’t understand His timing, but if you love Him he is working for your good. His word promises that. He wants better for you than you imagine.

  82. my prayers are with you,life is a struggle at times,but “GOD” is always with us,. I grew up with abusive parents then in an abusive foster-home,then the low-life,drinking,drugs,sex,the whole bottom of the pit thing,I did everything wrong,tried suicide a few times, (lessons and trials)but I kept praying,but always felt so alone and hopeless,I was abused by most of the people in my growing up years,I felt I could not trust people,and I still do not,I have a wonderful son (single parent) now I have a wonderful grandson,I got more education,been working at the same place for nearly 25 years and love it,I have my own house,and just had my first vacation,Jamaica!! all for the love of GOD,I read the BIBLE everyday,I have had a lot of problems but, NOW I know GOD will help me over-come everything.I am far from perfect but I KNOW GOD LOVES ME,you just remember “whatever” happens in life,GOD is with you, He did not promise us life would be easy,but HE DID PROMISE HE WOULD HELP US THROUGH THE TRIALS OF LIFE,now you look after your-self,pray about everything,and HE will amaze you,thoughts and prayers for you,take-care,GOD LOVES YOU!

  83. Im struggling right now. Dear God please help me to be guided by you and find a way of easing all my problems

  84. Believe that prayer is changing everything,i experience a worst trials in my life,but i hold on tight to our LORD JESUS.

  85. My dear do not despair. God is faithful and He will never hold you accountable for that abusive relationship. The goodness with our God is that nothing takes him by surprise because HE IS ALL-KNOWING. God on the mountain, is still God in the valley. Hold on to His word and you will see it come to pass in your life. Keep praying and calling upon His Name. He says, FEAR NOT, FOR I AM YOUR GOD. Strictly speaking He means it, because He cannot lie nor deny Himself. Please read and meditate on JEREMIAH 31 vs 11 – 14, 31 – 34. Be strong in the Lord, with prayer and supplication make all your desires and fears known to the Lord with thanksgiving in your heart. Do not doubt or let fear take hold of you. Stay blessed!!!!

  86. I feel like this woman is me coz I had the exact same questions in my mind for some years now. more especially recently. I thank God for his talking to me through this lady.

  87. You’re not alone been through something very similar. Things will get better.. Don’t give up and keep your faith no matter what

  88. You can pray until u are blue in the face but if u do not have faith, ur prayer wont move even the smallest hill… Be very concious of WHO u are praying to, God, is thr anything He cannot do? No ways… Sis, u have already made up ur mind abt ur husband, u have already said, he is an abuser, he will not change… So y are u telling us? U already have faith in the failure of ur marriage, y are u praying? Wat God says is the only TRUTH nd wat does He say? Does He not say u can do all things? So who is this person telling u that its over nd u believe?? Y? God wants u 2 adknowledge Who He is… He operates in FAITH sis… He has already answered all ur prayers! God is never @ fault… Let me use an example… Wen u order a bigmac burger @ mcdonalds do u expect a foldover? Or do u believe ur bigmac is coming? That is how God wants us to be, sooooo sure that what we’ve prayed for is coming just as we asked. Now sis, i need u to believe, believe in ur Father, the same Father who loves u so much that He is thr all times, adknowledge His presence in ur life. He alone should make u happy before any1 else. The reason y u are here is bcos God wants to show Himself to u… The bible says, ‘My grace is all u need becos My power is greatest when u are weak’ (2 Cor 12:9) read it, meditate on it! He is telling u that He is now fully operating in ur life, be concious of it… Be joyous wen u are weak becos thts wer He is greatest! Always keep urslf vested in His word, thats the only truth we have! So sis, pray now for boldness… God is the same as yesterday and will be the same 2mrw… He says today, right now ‘my child, I hear u, and all things are working together for only ur good, I am here and I love u’… Make His words personal they are 4 u!nothing can conquer u! U have conquered all things… So believe it, its all urs! God is not angry @ u, no, but He is being strong 4 u in ur weakness… Be concious of Him in ur life ryt now… Talk to Him, he is patiently listening. Always. Cast all ur burdens unto Him then feel that lift, He has taken it away. God bless u.

  89. Let me take this chance and knock at your hearts…

    PRAYERS IN TANDEM WORK BEST IF WE ALTOGETHER SEEK GOD’s HELP AND POWER. Please pray for Sol Mariveles, she’s in the ICU right now and let’s humbly ask God for her instant healing for her family to see how GREAT GOD IS! She had an accident and on critical condition right now but GOD is merciful. Let’s help their family in prayer! God bless your heart for helping in prayers. God will repay…

  90. God’s silence does not mean His absence. he is carrying you. Keep faith. the rainbow may be just around the corner. Read Job.

  91. God works in mysterious ways. We will never be able to understand how with us mind. He is supernatural!!! Be blessed!

  92. God does not lie and will never leave you nor forsake you! Remember the enemy can duplicate the blessings of God except for peace. Whoever is not in your Life is not meant to be there now. Maybe Gods silence was a away for you to see that He was working to remove all the people from your life.. Your heart will be restored, the doors will open, your life will be better than the last and you will rejoice.. Just hold on Hold on to the promises of God He will never fail you NEVER

  93. Boipelo B Ntsioa it’s getting worse for Job too, first he lose all of his possession, and his children and then his health.. Getting worse doesn’t mean God don’t care, it means God have faith in your strength just like He had faith in Job’s strength and faith ! I have question for you dear ? Why God the Father perfected Jesus in misery ? Who’s misery is greater ? Yours or Jesus’s ? So why God always perfected someone in misery ?

  94. God is working. Sometimes our biggest blessings are our unanswered prayers. All this time free of friends and work might be extra time to get to know Him and yourself better. Stay strong.

  95. Please pray with me for my son he needs work and trust and believe that he will get a job because God is good all the time Amen

  96. If you are interested in a work from home opportunity, let me know. It is a great way to make money. We get paid weekly, and you never have to leave the house. I love not having to commute, pay gas prices, pay for child care or deal with any of the hassles of having a boss. No prior experience or degree needed. We train you and help you get started so you can maximize your earnings. As an associate, you will be assisting customers with their purchases. Send me a message or friend request me for more information. Opportunity offered in US and Canada ONLY. Serious inquiries only, please.

  97. God is not mad at you, Jesus covered all our mistakes and sin at the cross, it is NOT God taking from you, it is only the enemy that brings misery. God is asking you to bring forth your requests and trust Him when you pray, ask Him for patience and strength through the storm, with Him we will go through fire and come out not even smelling like smoke. He loves you so much, trust in Him when you ask for help, it took me long enough to do that, but He turns my ugly into beautiful every time when I wait on Him no matter what the circumstance. I pray for encouragement and God’s strength through this in Jesus’ name, Believe He has great plans for your life, His grace is always available at all time..hold on

  98. I know God is there and I a not giving up. Satan is just attacking my family with full forces. My sister an her husband needs prayer for there marriage,taking of our dad, and family Please lift us up in prayer. Thank you

  99. Rom. 8:28 He’s working it out for our good. That’s why we have to continually praise Him. He always has our best interest in mind.

  100. I was in a marriage for 13 yrs with so similiar situation later after 7 yrs after my divorce I remarried it took me 2 yrs of dating until I would marry him. I was scared! I did and it was annuled after only 2 mos the mentioned above sounds just like me…I will tell you that God is still in the midst, He is still a good God…I have has loss of loved ones back to back and what you are feeling is what I was feeling. God has given me a new outlook is Grace is Sufficient and boy has it been a long, long journey I am almost 50 and still growing and NO YOU ARE NOT BEING PUNISHED! Satan would love for you to believe that & the lies in your head but you are Gods child. Begin asking Him to reveal to you what He needs you to see. He is silent sometimes and this is when we lean so deeply into Him and it seems long and painful and you feel weak…But He is there I Promise. Your rewards are in heaven and He has a great plan for your life He is getting you prepared for the next step. Said a prayer for you and sometimes He wants us to be silent so that we can hear His whispers. My heart aches for you because I have walked this painful journey. The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those that are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18 He is there I promise precious lady. Keep putting scriptures in your mind it is a spiritual warfare. Type them put them on your mirrors, in your car and repeat them daily. Keep your armor on sweet lady.
    Psalm 18:32-34 32 It is God who arms me with strength
    and keeps my way secure.
    33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
    he causes me to stand on the heights.
    34 He trains my hands for battle;
    my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

  101. Read job sounds a lot like how he was feeling in that book. gods word flows from his book :) pray things get better.!!

  102. This is how I’ve been feeling lately, I need to find a job before I’m homeless dear lord, please help me!

  103. When we know who God is, we will not harbor some thoughts about Him or us. when i read your post, two things came to mind, your identity in Christ and your knowledge of Christ. When these two are in place in your life you will see God in the midst of your darkness. Also, start forgiving your husband, this will bring peace in your heart, forgive your self and any one that has wronged you in any way while going through. At times God does not answer coz He has His reasons not to, we can not arm twist Him, He is God and Sovereign. When you think about your husband meditate on 1 Corithians 13, that is what love is. Even in our deepest pain, hurt God expects us to uphold Kingdom standards, no lowering them.
    My prayer for you is you know who are in Christ and you know who God is.

    God bless you

  104. I know God is much aware of your situation and He never left your side. There are a lot of times things happened to us that we don’t know why it should. But believe that God was there in bad times too. He is silent worker and He always answer our prayers specially those coming from our hearts. You are still blessed for God save you from your husband and you have your family who helped you. Never stop praying! GOD LOVES YOU! you are in my prayers. God bless =)

  105. I have had a similar experience with my in laws within the past 7 months and realized they have narcassitic personality disorder and borderline personality disorders. It’s been a rough experience and i too wondered why this was happening but over these past few months I realize that they were ruining my spirit and bringing my family down. Luckily my husband finally saw the light about them and stood by my side. They also have been putting us down to everyone to try to keep up their image and it’s hard….but you have to know its between you and god in the end and not him or anyone else. So just keep knowing you’re doing everything right and that even though he may have ‘everything’ now, in eternal life he will have nothing if he continues down this path. Stay strong and keep praying and know that he was removed from your life for the best and that god has something in store for you even though it seems he’s doing nothing right now. God bless you!

  106. Dear sibling in pain,

    Wow, so much or your story sounds so familiar. I am deep in the weeds myself, for many of the same reasons, and dare I say I have made some self righteous mistakes myself.

    You know something, I believe your comments about how you have lost everything and how “your reason to live is gone” is revealing. I do not say this out of judgment but out of self conviction.

    When Jesus found me, he rapidly blessed me beyond anything I thought I could have. The richness of this new life was so awesome, and I feared that it would one day not be around. Imagine Adam, always blessed by God, and then one day he eats the wrong fruit and knows what evil is (calamity in Hebrew). Then he notices he is naked, and then he fears God and hides.

    You have suffered calamity, as I have, and now you fear the Lord, for if the Lord is with you….what went wrong?

    Read John 11 if you get the chance. In the chapter Lazarus is dead, and Martha and Mary are in the dark according to Jesus. Why are they in the dark? Well, not because Lazarus died but because Jesus was not there.

    Martha does not get it, although she does says “Lord if you had been here, Lazarus would not have died,” she adds a bunch of religious stuff. When Jesus says Lazarus will live, she claims that he will but not until some last day resurrection (sound familiar???).

    Jesus responds by saying, “I am the Ressurection and the Life”

    This is what we do not get. Your husband and your finances and the fun was not the Life, Jesus is the life.


    I mean Jesus is a good husband, He is finances and provision, He is your new Resurrected Life! When we lose things in the world and are crushed by their loss, we know that they have become idols. When we know that Jesus is Lord, then we know nothing can be taken from us and we simply request it back (whether renewed or just newed!)

    Our wife or husband does not become a source for our life but a sign of The Life Source being present. If we lose a gift of the Source and it makes us feel as if we are dead…the gift has become the source.

    I do not write this because I live this but because I understand this…oh I seek to live it, but what a struggle…I am so bitter even though I know i should not, but without him I can do nothing….even be not bitter and mad at him.

    Mary understood, she understood Lazarus had died, not because she is a bad Chrisitan, but because Jesus had left.
    Mary said the same first part as Martha, but it meant something completely different.

    “Lord if you had been here Lazarus would not have died.” That is all she said, because she knew that it was Jesus departure that was why she was where she was.

    But she added something that there is absolutely no account of Martha doing. She wept and threw herself at the feet of Jesus. She had mourned that Jesus had been gone, but for a short time (you will note that is why Jesus stayed away…”because he loved Mary, and Martha, and Lazarus”)

    By the way, Lazarus is a Greek form of the Hebrew name Eliazar. The name means, “the help of God.”
    That is what we are talking about here in your life, and what is lacking in mine…..”the help of God.”

    I believe that as soon as we see Jesus as He is, the Resurrection and the Life, than the help of God will return, for Jesus is the Christ (Christ means Messiah, means anointed of YAHWEH–the one in which the help of God resides).

    I knell with you sister on the feet of Jesus weeping, for if
    Jesus had been here Lazarus would not have died. But he is here now, and the Life he has for us is perfect, we have lost nothing, and all that we lost for the Kingdom of Heaven will not come back to us 100 fold in this age and in the age to come life eternal.

    Note inj John 11 that Jesus did not say, now hang in there Mary it is going to suck but white knuckle…He wept, He was moved with a fiery passion, and he immediately raised Lazarus (note also that Mary said nothing while Martha declared that Lazarus was too far dead..and would stink).

    Do not listen to those voices that say all is lost. Your Lazarus is not dead, and he does not stink…Jesus just needs to “unbind his hands and feet”…and Jesus will for both of us so soon, lets keep weeping at his feet…we both desperately need Him to see our sorrow in being separated from our Lord in this way.

    Love in Jesus

  107. One more note sister….do not let the evil one snipe in your ear and look at your husband and feel judgment that he seems to be prospering at your expense.

    That is the master trick of the devil, if he can bring you to judge your husband before God, then God must also judge you and we are removed from the blood in which there is not judgment….

    As Jesus says, “Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.”

    and again, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”

    I am not saying that in human terms your husband is not the villain and you the victim, I am saying that currency gets you nowhere with Jesus who died for all of our sins.

    Jesus does not rate sinners from tallest to shortest (he just sees sinners and the Righteous), but the evil one loves to get us to think about sinners and move from grace to judgment and from Light to darkness.

    We will feel the hate, the anger, and the bitterness….let us remember to let the Lord know, as we weep at his feet, that we will not own to the fleshy desire for equity in judgment, but instead crave the warmth of Grace in His Life and His putting away (remission) of our sins “and not just ours but the sins of the entire world”….

    We look not into darkness but walk in the Light…we pray…if you would but lead us out of darkness our Good Shepherd….

  108. I am sorry to hear what you are going through as well as all the others who have responded who are going through the same thing or have been through. I have not been in such a situation and as a young woman waiting for love and marriage these stories only would make me more scared. However my hope is in the the Lord. I know it may seem like cliche everyone keep telling you to keep on praying and that God is an on-time God. The reality is, it is true. I may not have gone through the same thing you are going through but I have lost what I thought was everything, was scared to face tomorrow and was tired of everyone telling me it will get better, I will soon get to the end of the tunnel. But that’s when I learned the power of God’s strength. That’s when God’s word became alive to me. Without going on, as I am prone to do, I just want to encourage you to hold out and keep on praying and reading his word. God may be silent but he does hear us when we pray. He is faithful and he never gives us more than we can bare. Stay in the word, it is your weapon against the satan’s lies, it is the voice of God, it offers comfort, hope, direction. Everything you need is in the word. I took a lot of comfort from Psalms. For every emotion there is a Psalm and most of them always ends in the psalmist saying he has hope or trusts in the Lord. These are some of my go-to scriptures:
    Psalm 11, 13, 16, 23, 25, 26, 27, 28, 34, 38, 40, 61, 69. Rom 8:28; Philippians 4:6-7; 1 Thes 5:16-18; James 1:2-4; 1 John 5:14-15; Lam 3:21-26. God sometimes speaks in a whispher 1 Kings 19:11-12. I hope these help but no matter what, keep on praying and reading His word.

  109. As I read more and more of your post, the experience you endured with your husband reminded me very much of an experience I had with someone with whom I had not been married but due to circumstances, had to spend a great deal of time around for two years. I felt so drained that I found myself researching his behaviour and this led me to the conclusion that he was suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder but the more covert kind. I had been interested in this person but I thank the Lord that things did not work out and that I am free.

    Given that you are married to person showing those same dark and evil symptoms, I cannot even begin to imagine the extent of your pain.

    At times, God allows certain things to happen to us which leave us wondering why but because he is God, sometimes we may never understand.

    After every traumatic experience, there is healing and Jesus is the greatest physician. Ask him therefore to heal your broken heart and to remove any bitterness you may feel toward God, your husband and your situation.

    I would advise you to stop confessing that you are mentally sick. After being around someone with Narcissism for a prolonged period of time, it sometimes makes you feel that way due to the extent of the mind games, manipulations and psychological abuse. However, they are the ones that are mentally sick, not you. They try to transfer what they are dealing with unto you and if you accept that, then they would have won. Confess in Jesus’ name that you are whole and when you feel like you can, pray that your husband gets the help that he needs and comes to the realization that he needs it.

    I know that you are upset that things seem to be going great for him but the bible says to fret not thyself because of evil doers. Like you, there was a time that David in the bible wondered why God seemed to be silent to his prayers and for so long. He wondered why so many bad things were happening to those who loved God and so many good things to those who did evil. He could not understand why they were prospering while he was suffering. But then, God reminded him that even through the silence, he God was there. He also reminded David that he God sees everything that occurs on the earth and that their end would inevitably be self-destructive.

    Psalm 37 is a very good chapter to read during your trying time. So is also Psalms 10, 13, 22 and 42.

    If you are a child of God then you are more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus and this too shall pass. May almighty God bless and sustain and keep you, in Jesus’ name.

    Love, Lisa.

  110. Be still. God is fighting for us. We may not find God’s hand at work but HE is. When the heaven seems silent know that HE is preparing something for us. He is the great I AM. He is ABLE. Nothing is impossible with God. Keep the faith. Rest in HIS promises. Delight yourself in the Lord. :)

  111. 1-you have to love yourself more
    2-you have to forgive yourself and then him
    3-there is a lesson in the pain.

    God isn’t punishing you, God is near you right now the most. He loves the brokenhearted. I am someone who has been in abusive relationships and never understood why me, why this, what that.

    WHY NOT YOU? In terms of the suffering, the pain, the crying. God suffered much more than this. I know it’s hard to hear and hard to see but stay in prayer, stay in faith and love yourself.

    My best advice-write your ex a letter (don’t mail it) about how he hurt you, etc. Then throw it away. Then pray that you begin to forgive him, forgive you and you will heal.

    Look in the mirror and each day vow to love yourself more. Treat yourself the way that others should treat you. Date you. Go to dinner by yourself, movies, spa day, go back to school, go do what you need in life for you..This time, this moment, is about you because if you don’t do for you and love you, this will be a cycle repeated and maybe it already has and you just never noticed it until it became this violent.

    God chose you. He chose each of us to have his moment with us and for you to be a testimony/witness to that other woman that was abused. You showed someone how to walk away, you saved yourself and God spoke to you on that day, in that moment and gave you the strength, faith, hope, courage to walk away and love you more. The more you step to him, he will draw closer to you.

    Write, release, cry and it’s okay.
    I used to sit at my desk and cry most of the day
    Now I feel so blessed, that the tears were saved up for the blessings that are being reaped right now.

    I had a friend once tell me-you will meet someone and you will not have to cry, shout, etc and this will be the man for you. I never believed her. 4years later, I met a man that wouldn’t hurt a fly. Do you know all he asked me-please don’t make me pay for him. This is a man of God, a praying man, a man that knows the word better than me. A man that loves God and has such a heart for God…AND I haven’t cried. We are really good friends and I feel that this is right but I’m allowing God into every area and aspect.

    Trust me-God is right there with you