7 Signs It’s Time To Let Go

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I’ve been reading Mandy Hales’ Sassy Survival Guide: Letting Go and Moving On and I’ve realized I have let go of some people and things in my life too. I’m one person who has a problem letting go; be it a person or anything in my possession. Sometimes I would still wear my worn out shoes or use my tattered bag because I easily get attached. Imagine how I feel when I have to let go of people.

I think we’re all guilty of trying to recycle relationships that need to be replaced. *

But when do we stop holding on to people?

1. When they start sucking out all the energy that we have. When the environment becomes toxic.

2.When the relationship starts to be one sided.

3. When the negativity starts to effect us physically.

4. When, as much as we want to connect with them, they won’t let us. They’ve limit themselves and built a wall around them and they won’t let us in.

5. When the relationship becomes disrespectful or abusive.

6. When the relationship becomes too much of a bad influence. It pulls you away from God instead of leading you closer to Him.

7. When we have to be somebody else around them because we’re afraid to be ourselves.

We stop holding on, simply when they start pushing us away.

I am one person who finds it hard to let go of someone or something—that I sense is also trying to hold on. But I also am quick to let go if I know that I’m the only one left holding on.

I am a very intuitive person. You don’t have to say a word. You don’t have to give me an explanation. I can read between the lines. I can read body language. I can detect when something’s going on behind my back. I sense awkwardness no matter how faint. I sense hostility no matter how much you cover it up with casual conversation or a forced smile.

There’s a season for everything. Maybe their time in our lives is over. Maybe they’ve already served their purpose. Maybe it’s healthier and better for us to go our separate ways or else we’ll end up hurting each other along the way.

When going separate ways, you should still pray for them and wish them well. Pray for God to remove any ill feelings this separation may have caused. Just remember that sometimes it’s best to love certain people from a distance. Sometimes you have to part ways with certain people. If they’re meant to be in your life, God will place them in your path again.

All we can do now is just thank God to have led us to them, because we’ve learned, we’ve loved, we’ve grown and hopefully we’ve become better through them.

I may not always understand why things need to end, or how we started to drift apart but as always, I believe everything happens for a reason.

I may not always know what went wrong , but as the seasons change, so should people. So should relationships.

And as always, it’s for the best.

Before you email me: This post  was not written with married couples in mind.

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627 COMMENTS

  1. What if that person is your own mother, who has let’s just say, been very hurtful towards you in her words? We’ve been going through a thing and I’ve been trying to be openly honest by speaking the truth in love, she just won’t listen or hear me out, she rebuttals with very hurtful things, about not wanting to talk to me, about not me not ever asking her to do anything for me, which I rarely ever do because I know how she can be. Now, it’s her questioning my Christianity, which hurts deeply and she knows it. I just don’t know what to do anymore. All the while, I keep hearing in my head a mother is not supposed to be like this.

    • Dealing with family members can be CRUSHING!!! It will take prayer and staying away. If at all possible. Guard your heart by staying away for a while. Deal with family members as Jesus did; Know you NOT, I must be about my father’s business. If our mother, father, sister, brother or whomever can’t receive us…it’s time to let them go and serve the Lord. Sounds COLD but consider eternity. Jesus paid an awesome price for you to be His; you were theirs for a time, but now you belong to Him – serve Him, not man.

  2. ;( ;( ;( Many times God gives us the strength to let go … But we the ones that keep going back and holding on . May God grant us the grace to obey Him and do His will … Lets live lives that pleases our Creator .

  3. God helped me walk away from a 15 year friendship. The way it happened was not good. It hurt both sides badly, I was blinded, but since then I am a happier person. Why? only through Gods grace.

    • Godly counseling is always an option. Especially with a pastor that you both TRUST. Please do not make the mistake of telling someone that is a busybody or a gossip about your affairs; ;YES, even in the church. Be prayerful, God knows and loves you.

    • any personality traits can be changed by God, just pray for them, but if someone hurts you physically, please RUN. My sister was in a toxic marriage, where he would get drunk and than hurt her, by choking her nearly to death, or chasing her around the house with a knife in his hand, God would not want you to die a senseless death just so you can prove that you are a good Christian, by staying with this kind of husband. But that said you can keep praying for this kind of person and not live under the same roof.

  4. I am going through this with my husband. We have been separated for more than 1 year. He lives in Oklahoma and I am here in California. We have one daughter and he hasn’t tried to call or anything. I am just tired of the drama he is going to change he is going to change and hasn’t yet. I needed this today :). Thanks

  5. This is a good and true article. Sometimes ee just have let go, pray for one another and move forward. I,too, believe if they are meant to be in our life, God will cause our paths to cross again. God knows who is purposed for our lives.

  6. Awesome! And right on time! You can’t make people be what they are not! And I’ve always been the person that wanted to know why! In the long run, it doesn’t really matter, let go and be free from the constant doubts and anxiety.

  7. I am kind of going through this with my family. Many times we have helped all members of my family financially and have put out our own family while doing so. My parents, my siblings..and because I have a strong belief in Christ my sibllings push me aside until they “need” something..so letting go as much as possible, until the Lord lays them again.

  8. This is so powerful, as I read this I’m crying my eyes out. It’s so hard, even when you know it’s for the best. But, I’m still saying why? But I know in my soul, that everything will work out. I just have to stay prayed up, and trust God.

  9. I am also in this awful situation. It amazes me how God gives me what I need when I need it. It is so hard to end a 24 yr marriage but I know I must. My life and happiness depend on it. God is with me and I will take this one day at a time. I pray and cry constantly but will fight on. The Lord will see me thru, I firmly believe this. Good luck girls hold tight to God. He will not forsake us !!!! Amen

  10. Ok ladies I need help I left my husband of 13 years because of verbal and emotional abuse with a 10 year old son who needed a break from the arguing. I left our son with him till I could get me figured out. Well after living with mom and friends for 16 months and not finding a job oh yeah I lost my job in the midst of all this. I got back together with him because I missed my son so much, now a year later its brutal a dog gets treated better than me but if I leave again im leaving my son which I can’t bear and i don’t want to leave him with his dad but I don’t have the means to take my son with me. What do I do?

    • I think you should find the root of the problem and fix that. What exactly is causing you to argue so much?? Think about it. And work on that. Work on you. And vise versa. If you don’t fix the problem you will always be arguing x

  11. Thank you. If you do asked me 18 years ago when I married if I believed this I would have said no. But now I must leave before I go mad. I have postponed this decision twice in 14 years. But I can’t anymore. I’m a different person. I’ll never live my life if I do not leave now. She’s shocked because I just announced I’m leaving. She’s asking why, I’m saying I have been talking for the last 18 years and you haven’t listened. I love her. I love our children.but I can’t live with her anymore. It took me so long to have this courage. Thank you for confirming my decision to move on.bim full of inner peace..

    • I believe in marriage and what God has for marriage. I strongly encourage you to seek counseling with your wife. I have been married ten years and my husband decided to do the same thing. I couldn’t imagine being married 18 years and my husband leaving. The emotional stress alone is hard enough and it isn’t God’s best. I am not here to bash you but to encourage you to first seek counsel before you make a life-changing decision. I hope that you and your wife can discover what is causing the marital breakdown and your marriage be restored. I believe it will be stronger!

  12. So much hurt I’m seeing from women in this post.. Women please do us a favor. Spend some time getting to know our past before you fall in love with us. You fall in love too quickly with us. You give your heart away too soon to us. Many of us are not ready but being Men, we “act” and “try” to carry the load. Don’t fall in love first then try to figure out our past. Many men are damaged but will NEVER show it.This is ruining many relationships and marriages. Society has changed, there is tremendous pressure on relationships nowadays.Never let a man damage you. Fight hard to be the Virtuous women that God wants you to be.You are precious and the right man will recognize and treat you as such. So cry, wipe your tears away and put that smile back on your face. God loves you…

  13. God knows what is best for us. There’s a reason for everything… I’m going through this stage, It’s really hard but God is always here for us…thank you God for giving me strength to let go and moving on. I praise you my God and I love you,amen

  14. Tengo mas de 5 anos que dane a mi familia y he podido alejarla de mi Vida y no he podido salir del abujero en el que me meti. Y no he dejado que Dios haga lo que quiere de mi, creo que es tiempo de dejar ir lo hise y empesar a buscar mi camino cerca de Dios. Gracias x tu comentario. God bless you.

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  16. None of its want to give up, but sometimes we give up because in our hearts we know that the certain love isn’t right. Forgiving is a part of healing. I know the man i fell in love with was hurting deep down from past relationships. I gave him time, I’ve cried with him and for him, prayed for him, given him my heart, I’ve been there for him, and yet he doesn’t let his guard down, so I’ve decided to put him in Gods hands, i continue to pray for him, still love him. more than anything i want a solid relationship with him. I forgive him, and love him, but have let him go. And i thank God that he was in my life for the time we had together.

    • I feel you. . I have never stopped crying since I let him go out of my life few days back. . It hurts so much . I had a choice of begging him to stay in my life. But my intuition told me that it was like a broken glass. . I don’t know what went wrong all of a sudden. . But ya life goes on. .

  17. Thank God for He bestowed me wisdom to part ways from him years back as his purpose in my life was for a season n thank God we just moved on with our own lives though was hard at that time.If i keep holding on then my present would be a miserable one for he is just not meant for me as per Gods will ……we cant yoke with non believer for a relationship.Remembering him dont hurt anymore but am much happy now waiting for His timing.

  18. I had people whom i treasure as good friends in life. I find myself doing the effort to make them feel how much they mean to me only to find out i don’t have any value for them at all. They always ignore me. I don’t wanna give up but it’s been 11 years that i’m holding on and nothing has changed still. I don’t know if i should let go but it feels like it’s the only way i can finally free myself from hurting.

  19. This doesn’t apply in marriage. God hates divorce. Nothing is beyond God’s power to heal and restore. Never ever let go in marriage.

  20. Everything you have said is true, after I end up my 8 years of relationship I never expected how it feels so right. At first it feels like its the end of my life months after along side with deep prayer that He will heal the pain I am fine now. Totally renewed me. .

  21. Thank you for helping women who need to know that even if it hurts letting go a person or something that we get attached and is not good, God always lift us up and take us to a much better person or situation. God bless us all.

  22. Thanks. . The article is an eye opener. . I’m fresh from a broken relationship. . I’m hurting so much. . But it make sense. .

  23. Amen, just realized that my 12 year marriage is over – it never really began, it’s all not real our vows and my life of hardship has mean’t nothing!!. My husband has just strung me along for financial/sexual purposes. It’s all been a farce. He doesn’t care about me/ not about anything apart from my skills of holding down a job. All the time whilst he holds a position in church acting/pretending whilst not leading a christian life – and as I’ve just found out/realised that he is/was happier when I was in a backsliden and lost state. And has been unconsciously/conscoiusly doing whatever he can to keep me unsettled and out of a relationship and the will of God.

  24. It was 4years ago when there is someone who showed me love,feel that im so important to his life but behind of this im not the only one to his life..there so many times id tried to let go my feelings of him but until now deep inside of my heart all the memories that i had with him is still here. I dont know why?now that even if we dont have any communication im still hoping that one day will cross our path again..while im reading this..i been realized that its better to save your heart to someone you knew at the end could never be yours..and its better to love from a distance instead of forcing yourself to be love even if it will not possible to happen.its better to love from a far just to save your heart from the aches that will be cause of losing yourself..and maybe you might be hurt some else for choosing that someone even if he already taken to some else.

  25. I was reading this article and I couldn’t denied my eyes start crying, I truly believe in god and i been trying to get some answerand find the way to letting go the man who show me the way of faith and love during 5 years, I still loving him but i understand our season ends… and its time to let him go away of my life. .

    • My person to let go was my exhusband. I was with him 18 years. So, you can only imagine my pain as this was my best friend “I thought” as if he was, he would still be in my life as my “husband”.I still love him. But I love him at a distance and with a different love now. We still communicate as we have two young adult children together, but I am into my 3rd year of not being with him. I am just starting to accept that I need let it go cause the pain is much to great to keep holding on to what “I think I want/need” with him. If God want us to be back together it will happen. If we are not meant to be back together, I am okay with that now. It took me sometime to get to this mind set as I too was truly brokenhearted. But, there is hope sweety! Trust God and put your focus on him and ask him to give you other positive things to occupy your mind. He will but don’t give up hope!

      • Thank you Faylin, I know that God hates divorce so I have been so reluctant to let go but I have to believe that God’s grace will cover me when I go and that God will understand that it’s not right to stay in such an emotional abusive and destructive relationship. Please pray for me that God will open a door for me.

  26. I think yu might be reading a different bible. Please do not lie and confuse people. God is verry clear about the intuition of marriage. i’m pretty sure this is not the will of GOD.

  27. This is very helpful. We tend to want things to work out and have a happy ending. However, letting go can afford us the happiness that we need later on. Like you said pay for them their happiness and if it’s God’s will for them to be a part of your life nothing can stop that.

  28. I constantly ask myself is it “DESPERATION” that one cannot let go…or afraid that u will amount to nothing without the other individual,….its onli in letting go, will U wlk on water, and find u’r true identity, not losing u’self in someone else shadow…

  29. You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.
    A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it’s the most painful thing you’ll ever have to do and that you’ve ever done. But what’s yours is yours. Whether it’s up in the sky or here in your hands. And one day, it’ll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won’t have to put it back in the sky again.

  30. WE GOT TO LEARN TO LET GO, & LET GOD GIVE YOU THE COURAGE & STRENGTH. LIVING WITH SOMEONE WHO HATES YOU MAKES LIFE MISERABLE. LEAN ON GOD NOT TO HUMAN BEING, & GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. HE IS THE HUSBAND FOR YOU & THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILDREN MORE THAN A HUSBAND CAN DO.

  31. What happens if you let them go and they resurface after 10 years of know contact? And they are still married.. I was always told that if it was meant to be that he would resurface.. And he did… I didnt and still dont understand why our paths crossed again..

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