We’ve all had relationships, whether they were friendships, marriages, professional, or family that have gone bad at one point.
So what exactly went wrong? Regardless of the small details, most of the time it’s because one of the following three boundaries has been crossed:
Sometimes we become doormats in our relationships, hoping our loved ones will learn how to treat us better. We know we deserve better, but we timidly swallow our feelings for fear of pushing a loved ones away.
If you have a loved one who’s particularly disrespectful, decide that you won’t take it anymore. Let them know that (s)he will either treat you as you deserve to be treated or lose your friendship. If they don’t change, remain true to your word and love them from a distance.
Even though you’ve said goodbye, Forgiveness is key.
Who has any tolerance for being disrespected? I hope no one does, actually. Willingly subjecting yourself to disrespectful people can cause plenty of problems, such as poor self esteem and bottled up anger. However, jumping to conclusions that you are being disrespected (when you are not) can cause plenty more problems.
Proverbs 22:24- Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man.
It’s great to forgive and forget, but there are times when a betrayal is too great for you to continue with a relationship. Betrayal can involve all kinds of different things, from spilling secrets to infidelity. When trust is broken, it really doesn’t matter what the betrayal was because the effect is the same. Some Christians are able to confront betrayal and work through the disagreements afterward, It will take a lot of prayer, but it can be done.
When you no longer feel comfortable being yourself or sharing parts of your life, it may be time to just move on.
Throughout his lifetime David experienced the knife of betrayal after several of his closest friends turned against him (see Psalm 55:12-14).Proverbs 13:20- Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Pssst. Can you keep a secret? How do you react when you hear these words uttered in a hushed tone? Do you feel important that you are about to be trusted with confidential information, or do you wonder if it’s gossip that you don’t want to hear?
Being truly transparent to another person, exposing our insecurities, weaknesses, hopes and fears can be one of the most significant benefits of friendship. With any relationship, trust is paramount and confidentiality is an expectation. When we are friends, we assume our secrets are safe. At some point or another, most of us have experienced the hurt and betrayal that occurs when someone we thought was a friend violates our trust, breaks confidentiality, uses information told in confidence against us, and spreads private information.
One of the most common signs of someone who cannot be trusted with confidential information is the person who says, “So-and-so told me this in confidence, but I know you won’t say anything.”Proverbs 11:13 – Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered. Remember…True friendships are heaven sent. We all need one and we all need to be one.