It hurts my heart to see women being the girl who just can’t catch the hint when a guy is not interested in pursuing a relationship with her.
Similarly, it’s very uncomfortable and unsettling when you feel confused about his intentions or the direction of the relationship.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23)
It’s very important that we guard our heart so for this reason, I’ve come up with a few ways to tell if a guy is just not that into you. This list has been compiled based on personal experience so in sharing it, I hope to save you heartache and provide guidance to help you guard the most treasured asset that belongs to you—your heart.
Here are 5 signs that he’s keeping his options open:
You haven’t met his family and you’ve been dating at least 6 months:
Unless you’re dating someone who lives in another country, there’s really no logical explanation for not meeting someone’s family at the six-month mark of a relationship. Six months is a sufficient amount of time to do things like attend family parties, barbeques, celebrations and other important family events. If you’ve been dating for at least six months and you don’t know about his family, the family probably doesn’t know about you and that’s not good.
Proverbs 4:23, instructs us to guard our heart above all else. You deserve to be with someone who’s investing his time and heart into the relationship just as much as you.
If a guy is hesitant to let you into the intimate parts of his life (family), it’s a sign that you need to pull back and protect your heart.
You haven’t met his closest friends and/or they don’t know about you:
I once heard a guy say “I would never date anyone in private that I couldn’t date in public.”
Guys are a lot like women. When they’re excited about a girl, they act just like women. They tell their closest friends and they introduce the woman to their closest friends to gauge their thoughts and opinions.
If you’ve been dating for at least six months and you haven’t met his closest friends, now would be a great time to start asking some questions.
Are you a secret?
Is he unsure about the direction of the relationship?
Again, guard your heart and confront the gray areas of the relationship. You are too precious, too beautiful and too wonderful to be someone’s secret on the side.
His mouth says one thing but his actions say another. Verbally he’s saying “baby, I don’t want to be with anyone else” but he struggles to make you and the relationship priorities.
Or perhaps, you’re in that stage where you don’t really know if you’re a real good friend, a girl friend, or a girl he’s just interested in. If you’re confused about where you stand in the relationship, it’s a good idea to take a step back and reevaluate until you have clarity.
Relationships are a lot like close friendships. When you like someone, you spend time with him/her and you communicate your enjoyment. You hang out in public places and proudly tell others that’s your friend. Relationships are very similar. If a guy likes you, he will make his intentions clear and known. There will be no blurry, confusing rocket science-like actions to decipher.
Things have changed (and not in a good way either):
At the beginning of the relationship, he used to call you, text you, call you beautiful, compliment you and make plans to see you but all of the sudden, it stopped and you don’t know why.
You begin reasoning that perhaps you’re to blame for his change in behavior. You begin thinking maybe you’re too talkative, too emotional, too nice, too spiritual, too pretty, too big, or not dainty enough.
You don’t want to lose him so you begin doing things to regain his attention. Nothing works and you end up being an insecure wreck. Sound familiar? Hint: Anyone that makes you feel like you’re not enough isn’t the one and you’re not the one for him either. MOVE ON! Your real prince is waiting on you to leave that frog so you can get married and live confidently ever after.
He said it:
He actually told you that “you’re not the one,” but you just refuse to accept it because you’re convinced, he just can’t see it yet.
You think he’s afraid of his feelings. You think he’s afraid of falling in love with you this fast.
False, false, false! The truth hurts but regret hurts a lot more and lingers a lot longer.
The fact is, men are pretty simple. They see what they want and take steps to acquire it. It’s the reason why it’s so easy for them to walk into an electronics store and buy a TV without much hesitation. They don’t have to sit and ponder about how it’ll look in the living room next to the red couch; or if it will compliment the crystal vase. No, if they like it, they buy it.
Stop hanging onto the hope that things will change. Listen to his words, pay attention to his actions, accept that he’s not ready and move on! Your heart will thank you for it.
A woman’s worst nightmare is to feel unloved and unwanted but God’s greatest blessing is unconditional love. Don’t ever stay where you are not loved and don’t ever be afraid to leave the place where love is not being returned.
When we are patient, God will bring that kind of love into our lives. Until then, continue to guard your heart and use discernment. In sharing this list, I hope to inspire confidence and patience as you wait for God to bring along the right one.
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