Christian Singles

Before You Buy Another Book on Singlehood…

woman reading a book

While surfing Facebook, I ran into several advertisements for books/ebooks that promise to help single women find a man in the church, or giving advice if you are in the church, still single and can’t find the elusive “Boaz”.

I JUST accepted that God heard every one of my prayers for a husband and then BOOM! I am told that I’m doing it all wrong and said book has all of the answers for a small fee. At that very moment, I wanted to scream! I felt like I was in the middle of a late-night infomercial: Buy this book and catch a man or your money back guaranteed. Since when did being a single bible believing woman become such a cash cow? In the past year, several books popped up in the social spaces promising to share “never before known” knowledge on why I am single and how to resolve the “issue”.

Wait what?

Now one may ask “what’s so offensive about that?”. “These are people who are only trying to help single women”. Ok. I can’t deny that there is a growing audience of women who want their perpetual single season to end and end quickly. So, maybe you are right.

Maybe.

Then I will ask, is the book truly meant to edify, strengthen and encourage single women in the truth of God’s word or further the personal philosophy of the writer while promoting their name? Is the book truly a glass of refreshing cold water in the middle of a dry season and not another glass of soda with syrupy words that temporarily satisfy then leave the reader more thirsty and unsatisfied than before?

Single women are being bombarded by messaging that suggests this is the most undesirable time of life and we need to “do something” about it. Isn’t it enough that there are some people that just don’t get the fact that we are waiting for God’s best, who try to lovingly “push” us into cyberspace to “find” a man or “be in the right place” in order to be “found”? What about when some of the books are written by single men telling single women what to do in order to “catch a man”?

Really? Did I miss something somewhere?

The sad thing is, the sisters in the faith are eating this up like a pint of Haagen Daas on a Saturday night.

Now, the frustration here is not with the married (and even single) sisters and brothers in Christ who went through the wilderness of singlehood and allowed God to transform their minds (Romans 12:2) then came back to minister to the rest of us through biblically sound books/ebooks and articles. It’s those whose ideas, thoughts and lifestyles just don’t line up with the way we were called to live and act (1 Thessalonians 5:16-22).

Ladies, your singlehood is sacred. Though it may feel like it sometimes, it’s not an albatross around your neck. It’s a personal journey that is shared with our Lord through prayer, scripture reading, and service to the kingdom. That being said, singlehood should be treated as a crown of glory. It’s an honor to be in a place where you can bless someone and leave a mark in this society. I believe if you treat this season as a special time in life, your attitude and narrative will change (including the book topics).

Yes, it’s hard to spend nights alone or have the desire to be matched with a husband unmet after what seems to be countless dates and disappointing relationships. An article came across my timeline about a couple (prior to their courtship and marriage) who took a break from dating and focused on God. I thought that was awesome. These two young people shifted their focus to God and in their actions God brought them together. Now THAT was a glass of water.

One of my married friends told me that marriage is a ministry and you must surrender to it daily (Did she just say marriage is a ministry??). How can you fulfill the role of a wife when you haven’t even surrendered yourselves totally to the heavenly father much less be willing to serve in a ministry at your respective churches? And if you’re still on the fence about totally surrendering to God, how can you surrender to the marriage? The books may talk about finding a man, but what about maintaining a personal relationship with the Lord first?

Don’t deplete your energy by buying yet another book just to “get a man”. Doing this may cause you to start rehashing things the Lord already settled in your life. If you must read a book about singlehood, make sure the author will edify and encourage you during the wait and not send you into the world, another church, or another city “looking” for a husband.

Christ came that you may have an abundant life (John 10:10). He hears all of our prayers (1 John 5:14), so take a deep breath, leave some of these books alone and relax. The Lord has everything including your singlehood under control. Remain in Him, fix your crown of glory, and live “single-ly unashamed.”

Tracey Jackson

Tracey Jackson

Tracey Jackson is an author with a career in technology whose desire is to encourage and inspire others through her writing.
Tracey Jackson

Latest posts by Tracey Jackson (see all)

51 Comments

51 Comments

  1. Aketch Lydia

    May 7, 2017 at 10:34 am

    Yes its very true

  2. Lucy Razafy

    May 3, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    Father prepare me to be good wife, mother for my futur children

  3. Yolonda Brown

    April 30, 2017 at 8:04 pm

    Okay!!!! No We Don’t

  4. Jenny Greeff

    April 30, 2017 at 7:43 pm

    Yes Amen

  5. Zinhle Dlamini

    April 30, 2017 at 7:40 pm

    God send my husband to me ,and prepare me to be a good wife in jesus name

  6. Ngoza Nsunge

    April 30, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    true, i want God to prepare me to be a good wife as He prepare my hubby to be as a good husband and God fearing

  7. Madiba Maponto Grace

    April 30, 2017 at 3:47 pm

    Katlego Senokwane

  8. Brandy Denny Pflepsen

    April 30, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    Dawn Navarre good read

  9. Shirley Yogendran

    April 30, 2017 at 1:53 pm

    Yes Lord .., help me to be the Wife for my Husband in the way You want me to be. In Jesus name ,Amen

  10. Nancy Kayz Mumbi

    April 30, 2017 at 11:11 am

    Idah Mwanza

  11. Mo Makara

    April 30, 2017 at 9:49 am

    You”ve got to become the person you would love to marry if you were someone else..

  12. Francine Wabo

    April 30, 2017 at 9:49 am

    True

  13. Xolisile Makhumalo

    April 30, 2017 at 9:14 am

    Prepare me ooh Lord to be a good wife

  14. Marie-Annette Donaghue

    April 30, 2017 at 6:28 am

    Amen. May I understand more, help more, do more.

  15. Ewura Naa

    April 30, 2017 at 5:37 am

    Very true.

  16. Mafikie Fikile Madlangamandla

    April 30, 2017 at 5:20 am

    I need to be Prepared…..

  17. Dionnea Seals

    April 30, 2017 at 4:57 am

    Wow… so interesting, I just wrote and placed my book for singles on amazon (yesterday)! I AM: 40 day devotional for singles. Talking about shifting our perspective to God!

  18. Diann Bond

    April 30, 2017 at 4:41 am

    Dani Early
    Kristin Susanne Wycoff

  19. Monique Bella Benadetto

    April 30, 2017 at 4:40 am

    Ezria
    David
    Malachiah

  20. Monique Bella Benadetto

    April 30, 2017 at 4:40 am

    Preaaaaach!!!

  21. Kamryn Peterson

    April 30, 2017 at 3:03 am

    Tabatha J. Peterson

    • Tabatha J. Peterson

      April 30, 2017 at 3:40 am

      Thanks sister!! I do pray this actually.. might look into getting this book!! Love you tons and miss you!!!

    • Kamryn Peterson

      April 30, 2017 at 3:44 am

      Welcome 😘Love you & miss you much!!

  22. Patricia Brown McCray

    April 30, 2017 at 2:19 am

    Lanessa McCray Ferguson ram Tam Sofancy Mccray Courtney Dukes

  23. Rolonda Amos

    April 30, 2017 at 12:08 am

    Yaass! You, yourself have to be ready to receive whatever He has for you!

  24. Janet Scott

    April 30, 2017 at 12:04 am

    Wait On Your Boaz….

  25. Ana Mae Maymay Dusaran

    April 29, 2017 at 11:50 pm

    Yeah this is quite true. Many times we ask for the person we want be with…never realizing if we’re ready enough for the task. Eventually, things may work or may not work and later reflection comes…and perhaps for those who did may feel sorry. Better to ready ourselves -a prayer will make a difference!

  26. Emilyn Nunez Dumosmog

    April 29, 2017 at 11:25 pm

    Richard Gott – Really God answers prayer

  27. Retinah Privilege Makamure

    April 29, 2017 at 11:24 pm

    Ooh yes Lord prepare me to be a wife @ prepare my Abraham to be a good husband as well.

  28. Dorothy Anderson

    April 29, 2017 at 11:23 pm

    Wonderful!

  29. Jane Janu

    April 29, 2017 at 11:12 pm

    Dear God prepare me to be a good wife Amen

  30. Tracey YG

    April 29, 2017 at 10:59 pm

    “Father prepare me to be a good wife”. In Jesus’ name. Amen

  31. Candace A. Hooper

    April 29, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    EJ Rochelle

  32. Christy Isaac

    April 29, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    Now this is absolute! Instead of praying for God to send you somebody work on you. Be who you want God to send you before he or she even find you!!!

  33. Simone Browne

    April 29, 2017 at 10:20 pm

    Excellent!!! This is the way to pray. Amen!!

  34. Terry Daley

    April 29, 2017 at 10:10 pm

    Amen

  35. Aaron McCoy

    April 29, 2017 at 10:04 pm

    How do I know!

  36. Emelia Acheampong

    April 29, 2017 at 9:56 pm

    A very true talk

  37. Sandy Arnold

    April 29, 2017 at 9:45 pm

    Yes Father prepare me for wife I should be!!!!!

  38. Maame Dufie Osei

    April 29, 2017 at 9:39 pm

    Holy Ghost Fire prepare me a Husband in Jesus Name Amen

  39. Esha Bug

    April 29, 2017 at 9:38 pm

    Amen Lord knows I try but God’s timing is everything for my Boaz Lord prepare me for my Husband Amen!!!

  40. Ninette Barnard

    April 29, 2017 at 9:29 pm

    Maybe this is the prayer that we are supposed to pray…..

  41. Felice 'Finesse'

    April 29, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    Amen

  42. Frieda Kahewa-ketu Thomas

    April 29, 2017 at 9:24 pm

    Amen

  43. Eleanita Threatt

    April 29, 2017 at 9:11 pm

    I am working daily on being a better wife for the man that HE chooses for me

  44. Stacey McDaniel

    April 29, 2017 at 9:04 pm

    Yessss! I prayed for this and I am no longer the person I was before. God will put your character through, what seems like, a never ending stress test. Some tests you will fail and have to retake until your soul/heart/mind no longer thinks about what’s fair, who’s right or wrong or winning an argument. All you’ll want is peace in your relationship, the ability to be understanding and give gentle responses. You look for opportunities to be a helpful and supportative partner and you’ll develop a gentle spirit that will surprise you. There might even be a time when it looks like you’ve failed and your relationship won’t work. You’ll have to trust God and be still and not let your emotions run wild. I’m a work in progress but my understanding of marriage, love, submitting to your husband, forgiveness, controlling your emotions, and how your marriage should glorify God has both strengthened my desire for marriage and freightened me to my core. I can’t see doing it without God being with me everyday.

    • Robby Elisa

      April 30, 2017 at 5:15 am

      Agreed. After I really started to understand what marriage was really about, I also had to do a double take like, “Hmmm…am I really ready??”

  45. Lia Wilkins

    April 29, 2017 at 9:00 pm

    Kim Colclough…this is definitely my prayer

  46. Cathey Walls

    April 29, 2017 at 8:47 pm

  47. Jef Jefri

    April 29, 2017 at 8:46 pm

    #Cempepoel_moviestream

  48. Barbie Honey Grahams

    April 29, 2017 at 8:44 pm

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

To Top