It is possible to have a social life as a single mom and more importantly as a Christian woman. Many women have traveled the same path with success and to the benefit of both themselves and the children. Whether you feel a lack of a social life because of time constraints, other people’s expectations or simply fear of the unknown, you can overcome these issues to rediscover a social life for yourself.
1. Don’t rush the relationship on your little ones. Get to know your mate before you leap to introduce him to your kids. If you’re already having issues in your relationship or feel uneasy in any way, wait until you are comfortable with the idea. Don’t feel rushed by your mate to make it official.
2. Never make your children feel as though you’re choosing your mate over them. If they accuse your mate of inappropriate behavior, (even if it seems far fetched or unbelievable) it’s your job to investigate it. Your children’s safety should be your number one priority.
3. Always set aside time alone with your kids as well as alone time with your mate. Dating as a single mom, should be a balance. No one should feel neglected. Not your kids, not your mate. When a parent starts dating, lots of kids feel like the mate is stealing their parent away from them, and that their mother won’t have time for them anymore. Spending alone time with your kids will also give you an opportunity to find out how they really feel about your mate.
4. Make sure your mate shares the same values, morals, and beliefs as you. Hopefully, this is someone you can see yourself marrying. You want someone who will encourage and instill the same values in your children.
5. Don’t have him take on parenting roles too soon. The goal is to make your children comfortable and eventually grow to love your new guy. Giving him the role of step-daddy can backfire. Children can easily see this as “trying to replace their dad” and will only grow to resent your mate.
6. Know when to leave. One of the more trying moments in a single mother’s life is splitting up with someone her kids care about. I know women who have stayed in iffy relationships “for the kids.” This makes even less sense when you’re not married. Change and loss are part of life, things everyone has to deal with. If a particular bond is really strong, perhaps there’s a way for that adult and child to maintain a connection.
Dating can be complicated, and having children can further complicate things. If you have children, don’t let them keep you out of the dating world forever. Find the right balance and you can find love again while keeping your kids involved.