not ready for marriage

When a woman gets to the stage where marriage seems to be the single most important thing in the universe, the doors of temptation fling wide open. Patience, grace, and feminine mystique are put to the ultimate test.

But sisters, here’s one thing to remember; DO NOT approach a man when he is hungry or thirsty!

My dad does not function very well when he is hungry. My brother, who everyone knows is super humorous and cheerful can be a tantrum-throwing baby and completely irrational when he’s hungry (maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit.

But the point is, I have noticed that these two main men in my life don’t like to be bothered when they are hungry. 

Boaz, Ruth’s husband was apparently the same way, hence Naomi’s instructions;

“Wash yourself therefore, and anoint yourself and put on your best clothes, and go down to the threshing floor; but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking.” (Ruth 3:3)

Naomi decided that it was time for Ruth to be married. She instructed her to prepare herself and go down to the threshing floor where Boaz would be winnowing barley (in other words – he was at a place where he was separating trash from treasure). Ruth was to wait for four things to happen;

1. Wait until he’s done his work (of separating trash from treasure)

2. Wait until he is done eating

3. Wait until he is done drinking

4. Wait until he is sleeping

The same instructions are given to virtuous women today. If you notice a young man who you are impressed to see as fit to take on the role of husband, father, and priest, you must ensure that he has done his work of getting rid of “chaff” in his life.

Psalm 1:4 lets us know… “Boaz was winnowing in order to get rid of the “worthless” part of the grain.”

Everyone has chaff and there are some things that you cannot afford to allow into a relationship.

From a distance, Ruth waited and watched Boaz thresh barley. From a distance, you must also take notice to see whether this man is actively working with the Lord to get rid of “worthless things” in his life.

Then she had to wait until he was done eating.

“Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst.” (John 6:35)

A man who is still hungry has not yet come to Jesus, and if he is thirsty, he has not yet believed in your Savior. 

According to Health Day News, researchers found that “when people are hungry, they are more likely to be angry or aggressive…the reason why: serotonin levels — a  hormone that helps regulate behavior, fluctuate when people are  stressed out or haven’t eaten.” Basically, when someone is hungry, the levels of serotonin are so affected that it causes one to react in anger, irritation, or frustration. You can expect a man who is not spiritually fed to react in the same manner.

Finally, Ruth had to wait until Boaz was asleep.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”(Matthew 11:28)

Has this man found spiritual rest in Christ? Too many men are stressed out, burnt out, and have no rest. These characteristics will add stress to your relationship. It is vital that he finds rest for his soul.

Note that before God brought Eve to Adam, Adam had eaten , he had rivers of pure water , he had his work , and he fell asleep. All these Boaz had also done. Now it’s time for Ruth to make her entrance!

But wait…

Maybe you’re thinking that in order for this man to notice you, you have to do something to make him notice you right? No, Ruth does the opposite…she lies down. She doesn’t make any sound to wake up Boaz. Ruth approached quietly…and lay down.

When the time comes for you to make yourself known to a man worthy of you, you make your self known by not making yourself known.

Proverbs 25:2 says “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter but the glory of kings to search it out.”

If a man is truly a Godly king, the Lord will wake him up to your presence and he will search you out. All you have to do is “lay low” and let the Lord wake him up.

Felecia is a Graduate student at Andrews University and hope to be a missionary in whatever field the Lord leads.
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