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I Think I’m Still In Love With My Ex Husband

breakup

This may be a bit long but I do need advice. I don’t even know where to begin. I am a Christian and have been all my life. I am a divorcee, have been divorced for over 13 years. Ever since my divorce, I have never had another relationship as I felt that divorce and remarriage was wrong. I prayed for over ten years for my husband to return even though he was remarried. I met my husband at work in 1995 just after leaving University. We were both Christians and very young – we dated and prayed about our relationship for 2 years before we got married. (he was my first and only relationship). After just two years of marriage, my husband walked out on me and migrated to another country! The pain of it was unbearable because I didn’t see it coming and I had no idea why. Two years after, I received divorce papers. I didn’t sign it because I felt that God hates divorce- the divorce was granted however. Ever since then I had not heard from him or anything about him other than the fact that he had remarried. I remained single and spend time praying to God to restore my marriage. My friends and family keep telling me that i’m an idiot and how stupid I was for not moving on.Three years ago, I finally let go and decided to move on. I met a lovely christian man. He is a very committed man of God, we got engaged last year with the intention of getting married this year , however, my ex husband contacted me last year for the first time in over 13 years. He told me how sorry he was for what he had done an asked for forgiveness. He told me how he has suffered and wish he had never done what he did. He heard that I was engaged. To make a long story short, I think I am still in love with my ex husband but I really don’t want to hurt this new guy in my life. During my years of singleness God has blessed me, I obtained a PHD and I have a very good job, I have everything I need – my family is upset that I’m thinking of returning to my ex husband as they think that he just want to come back to live off what I have. I am confused. I don’t know what to do. My fiancé loves me very much and I love him also, but I feel that my ex coming back is answers to prayers but then again I am wondering if it’s the devil sending him back to break up a good thing that I have. I’m afraid that I’m going to lose them both as I have put off the wedding and waiting and praying for God to send me answers. I haven’t heard from my ex for over 2 months now and my fiancé is upset with me for even thinking of reconciling with my ex. I think I’m going crazy with anxiety! What should I do? (and I’m praying about it but not seeming to get any answers – I can’t wait for another 13 years)

The Praying Woman

The Praying Woman

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