Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. – Ephesians 5:25
Of course, as a woman, it can be hard to understand a man’s perspective.
A few men were open and willing to share their own views on what being a Christian man should look like, Christian dating, and what a Godly marriage should embody.
They were each asked several questions, including:
– What or who made them into the man they are today?
– What they think classifies as “childish”?
– How would they describe what being a true man of God looks like?
These men share their hearts and minds from across the world—from California, to Florida, to Harare, Zimbabwe.
In whole, they believed “childish” things involved idleness, unproductivity (too much social media and games), dating just to date, and not taking responsibility and commitment seriously.
Being Godly is not just an adjective for these men; it is in fact, a way of life that involves prayer, dedication, and humbleness.
When asked about what Christian dating should like, their responses involved a man’s initiation and also their lack of “reading women”.
One man said “Men are bad at knowing feelings and emotion, and knowing you’re interested. So, I think if a girl is interested, it’s good to be upfront to tell the guy or have mutual friends let [him]know. After that, it should be the guy’s responsibility to call, plan dates, etc. If he’s interested, he will put the effort. Be smart about purity…do not meet one on one in private places. Focus on values and the heart and not romance, butterflies and superficial things like culture today.”
Another man said “Before marrying our future wives, we should fully trust the heart of God. It’s this love that He wants to show through us. Prayer is definitely the number one way to seek Him…if we love the way we are supposed to, every relationship we have in life will be blessed—especially with the one God wants us to share a wedding cake with.”
When asked about marriage and what a Godly relationship should look like, they each described marriage as a covenant and gift.
One man said “Marriage is the covenant relationship of joining a man and woman into one. Marriage should be the most intimate relationship we occur. It is where someone should be fully free to know and love another person…the husband or wife should be free to open up, and be fully known without any hiding. And, in the confines of that deep and close relationship, a spouse should give not only happiness and encouragement, but true hard knock love seeing blind spots, rebuking bad behaviors, and looking for their spouse’s ultimate long term good.”
Another man said “I see marriage as a holy, sacred covenant that God created, blessed and declared good. Marriage is about dying to self…like Christ loved the church and died for the church He loved, I am called to do the same. Marriage is another level of responsibility, blessing and growth.”
Another said “Marriage is a gift–a reflection of God’s love and commitment to us. That’s why it’s so beautiful when Christ is at the center of it. It’s the opportunity to start a family and to cherish the woman you love through every moment God blesses. There will be highs and lows, but love conquers all–especially with a whole hearted commitment to grace and understanding.”
In Genesis 2:24 is tells us, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
In the present context, ‘leave his father and mother’ is similar in nature to putting off the child-ish things. I see child-ish-ness in young men when they believe they can–and must–make it in this world alone.
They often believe that learning from other men with greater wisdom and experience is a sign of weakness.
One interesting note, is that a man and a woman should focus on a blooming friendship first…and to see where the road takes them.
Watch, observe, listen to, and learn from older, more mature Christian men. Make friends with girls and women. Don’t worry about dating and falling in love, just become friends.
Dating for singles can often be daunting and emotionally complicated, but if we just stop and look up to the God who cares for us, just as these men know full and well, everything else will fall into place. Trust Him.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33