A few months ago, I wrote the post, The Month I Fasted from Men and How it Changed My Life. A lot of you contacted me asking for specifics on what to do during the fast, so I wrote this post to help guide you on your journey.
Disclaimer: This fast is not to help you get a man in return, although it sounds like a good incentive and could very well bring the partner God has for you. But, most importantly, the fast is designed to teach you 1) how to trust God with the desires of your heart, by completely relinquishing control and giving them solely to God; 2) to totally surrender yourself to God and allow him to heal the parts of your life that are broken.
Ready? Okay here we go.
1) Discontinue contact with any man that you presumed to be a love interest. So any man you’re dating/ talking to and it’s not going anywhere, especially if you know God has given signs that this person is not for you and you have no peace about the relationship. This step is especially important, because you are showing God that you are willing to sacrifice your desires for his will in your life.
2) Do not engage or entertain any man that is trying to hit on you, flirt with you, take you out on a date, buy you dinner. Even if a friend tries to set you up with a guy. Stay away, and beware the men will come.
It is important to stay committed, because every time you choose to reject advances from men, that is an act of faith. Faith without good works is dead.
So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.- James 2: 17
This is a weak area, and your good works in faith will show God’s strength in you. Where you are weak, he is strong.
And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. – 2 Corinthians 12: 9
What should you be doing during the fast, besides not talking to men?
The purpose of this Fast is to draw closer to Christ, and to allow yourself to hear more clearly from him. So, what should you be doing?
1) Daily devotion: This is the time you come vulnerably to God, asking him to show you in his word what he wants to tell you. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal scriptures to you.
2) Prayer: This is your time to surrender it all to Christ. Really be honest with God about what is going on internally. He already knows what’s in your heart, he’s just waiting on you to give it all to him.
What men can you actually talk to?
1) Friends: Men who are already platonic friends. No new friends.
2) Co- workers: yes you can talk to male colleagues, if it is essential to your job. Avoid contact with male co- workers who try to make advances at you, or colleagues you find yourself attracted to.
3) Relatives of course (father, brother, cousins).
How do you handle when men try to talk to you on the street?
Run as fast as you can!! Just kidding. You can politely tell them that you aren’t dating right now.
You will be tempted to take their numbers or give them yours with the thought that you will contact them after the fast. Don’t give in to the temptation. I guarantee you that whomever God has for you, will be just for you, and nothing will stop that.
Give God these 30 days to transform you for a lifetime. Let him make you whole. I look forward to what God has in store for you!