By: Anna Doe

Anna Doe — Thu, 29 Sep 2016 17:02:00 +0000

Seems like God has been calling me out/answering me with regard to certain things I’ve been thinking over, for weeks now. Up to my 30s, I tend to see things in black and white and make no compromises about my values and principles. When I had friends acting the way you described, I used to either tell them or let them strongly feel/know that I don’t want to be involved/complicit in this type of behavior. However, lots of things have happened since then and I changed a lot as of a result. I went through very trying times and I had almost no one to help me. The people who helped me in a tangible way, are people whose values or life choices, conflict with most of my principles and values. They’re also stubborn people who do as they please and never ever learn from their mistakes because they can’t see them, even if they’re staring at them, no matter how repetitive they’re in their lives. I felt torn between the fear of looking ungrateful and the growing discomfort I kept feeling around those people. Didn’t God use them to help me in my dire moments,? It must mean that they aren’t that bad. Besides, I was, am so afraid to have them throwing into my face, what they did for me. So what have I chosen to do lately? To keep my mouth shut and quietly distance myself. I can clearly see some of those people veering off a dangerous path, especially from a spiritual standpoint but I say nothing, I just look away. Why? I’ve admitted to myself lately, that more than the fear of being lashed out at, I have no love anymore for those people. You know how people say that the opposite of love, is indifference and not hatred? This is what I’m experiencing now. Prov 27:5-6 is so true: ” Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” When you really love someone, when you really care for people, you tell them the truth no matter what it costs you, even if it means having a falling out with the person. I know what I’m talking about, I have lost very close friends over hard truths. I cared too much for them to keep quiet and I have some of them, hoping for a reconciliation but I’d been too hurt by their reaction to have them back in my life. So since I’m twice shy now after being bitten once, I keep my mouth shut around my current “friends”. That’s how I know I don’t care anymore for those people. Sometimes, I might subtly try to tell them that they’re on a dangerous path but the minute, they get defensive or act dense, I throw in the towel because the truth is that I don’t consider those people as friends anymore, no matter what they did for me. The bottom line is that: when you’re doing something wrong and that you’re aware of it (deep down, we know when we’re wrong, no matter the ton of rationalisation we might apply to the situation) and that someone close to you, calls you on it, bless the Lord for having that person in your life! Indeed, people who don’t give a rat’s ass about you, don’t care about you being the best version of yourself so even if you’re about to hit a wall, they’ll look away. That’s how I now know that I don’t love someone: utter indifference when they’re doing something wrong which is gonna cost them dearly.

Comments on: 3 Ways to Show Grace to Others

By: Anna Doe