“I am in a mess….I am one year divorced from a man that was/still is emotionally abusive. I did not realize how bad it was until I moved away from him and our three children four months ago. I have suffered through him not working, me taking care of our children along with a full time job and a part-time seasonal business that we owned, to an abortion of my third pregnancy; to making friends with another man that I told my then husband that I was having an affair. In a way it was an affair, not physically (I did not even meet the man in person until after my divorce was final), but it was an affair as I had given another man my heart. A man that treats me as an equal, does not belittle me, and wants to have a life with me and someday my children too, not just for himself. I am miles away from my children, my oldest in college, my second in high school, and my youngest in elementary. I miss them so much. My oldest does not speak to me at all. I am not in a position where I feel like I can move back. I love this man, and I love my children. I am financially broken and finding part-time work barely above minimum wage is not helping the situation. I try to send money when I can to their father, and pay what bills I can, but I am left with NOTHING at the end of each paycheck. I am trying to find full time work that is at least better pay than what I have, but it is so difficult. I am sure I can move back closer to where my children are, but my partner would be homeless without any help financially. I am not able to give him much, but I do give him something. My ex does not let me talk to my young one much at all. He uses him to hurt me. Knowing full well that I want to talk to him, but does not let him call me because he says it makes my son sad. In my opinion, he would not be as sad if he got to talk to me more often. I am hurting….I miss my kids. I feel like I have nowhere to turn but look up. There is so much more to the story, but I need prayers right now please. I need comfort and a clear sight of the path that God wants me to take. If it is to stay where I am for now, I need a full time job and even if it is not to stay here, I need a clear sign of direction. As far as the abortion goes, I have beat myself up over it far too many times. I have asked for forgiveness, and it has been given. I have to keep forgiving myself, which is hard to do when I know what it is like to be a mother, and at times a father too.”
I have empathy for your children because children are always the ones to suffer the most for our actions. You said your daughter won’t speak to you at all and your little one is always sad after speaking with you. They’re hurting. Whatever happened between you and your ex- husband should never effect your relationship with your children. You mentioned that you are sure you could move back closer to your children, but your “partner” would be homeless. You have to ask yourself what is more important to you. Is it your relationship with your children or your relationship with your partner? I’m praying for you. I pray that God speaks to your heart on this matter. I pray that he restores your relationship with your children, and I pray that you would be at peace with whatever decision you make. God bless you!
What are your thoughts? Any advice for this young lady?