For most of my life growing up I struggled with depression and mental health related issues. At the age of sixteen I became frustrated with my life and my depression began to overpower my faith. I began to engage in self-mutilating behaviors and I became more enticed by the idea of death by suicide. I could never understand why this other half of me existed and I felt shameful and dirty for being what some would call mentally unfit. Being raised in the church, depression and mental health is not a topic I ever heard most pastors preach about or…