3 Steps To Breaking Free From Ungodly Relationships

toxic relationship

There are many reasons you may be in the midst of a toxic relationship or in the process of getting over one.

A toxic relationship is any relationship that cripples your ability to flourish in God’s purpose and plan for your life.

There is one theme that has always rang true for me as it relates to ungodly relationships: I did not seek God before entering into the relationship. It was always a relationship that I chose because it lined up with my desires at the time, which were very far from God’s desires.

STEP ONE

If you are currently in a relationship that is draining the life from you, your first step to break free is to ask yourself this very crucial question: Did God approve the relationship to begin with?

God only ordains or approves relationships that are designed to help us live out our God-given purpose. Any relationship that does contrary is most likely one we have chosen and choose to remain in because of our own personal wants and desires.

If you are in a relationship that God did not approve, it’s not the end of the world! It may actually be the beginning of something very liberating, if you can find the strength to admit your error. The truth will make you free, and it will begin to lift the burden that you have been carrying around.

STEP TWO

The second thing you must do if you are trying to break free from a toxic relationship is: Only listen to Godly counsel.

When you are dealing with very stressful situations, it is your first inclination to seek the opinion of friends and family. There is nothing wrong with that if they are giving you Godly counsel. But if they are just telling you what they personally think and feel, you are going to remain bound.

Friends and family mean well most of the time, but because we often want to please them and not upset them, we follow their advice even when God is speaking something totally different.

STEP THREE

The third thing that is important for you to know if you are trying to break free from a toxic relationship: Don’t label fear as confusion.

Often times when we begin to seek God about a situation that could change the course of our lives, He will speak something to us that we were not expecting. When it comes to a relationship that we have chosen to remain in despite its toxic nature, we are overtaken with fear if God tells us to walk away. Instead of admitting we are fearful, we say “I am confused.”

Labeling fear as confusion feels better because it continues to justify our reason for not leaving. Listen to me closely, God NEVER intends for you to remain in any relationship that strips you of your dignity and self-worth.

Yes, every relationship requires work and will experience hardships. However, there is a very significant difference between the normal ups and downs of a relationship and outright physical, mental and emotional abuse.

God does not require you to endure anything of that nature to prove your love for Him or for the other person involved. Many times we choose to stay because we don’t want to feel like a failure.

I know from personal experience that God can and will restore you no matter how long you have remained in a toxic relationship.

He will put your broken pieces back together and He will begin to rebuild you as soon as you make a decision that His purpose for your life is more important to you than how others see you or even how you see yourself.

Always remember, there is life after a toxic relationship!

Dr. Erica Wyatt is a single mother of four beautiful children, the author of "Striving to Live a Life of Purpose: My Journey from Teenage Mom to PhD Graduate, an educator, and a Christian Life Coach
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