4 Dangerous Reasons to Say ‘I Do’

We all want a lifetime of love, support, and faith but sometimes we need a little help. Many of us want to create strong, Godly relationships but this isn’t always easy. Relationships take a lot of work, a lot of communication and a lot of compromise. A healthy relationship requires some give and take, but is absolutely within your reach if you and your partner are willing to do the work.

Communication is a key part of building strong relationships and can either make or break the success of your relationship, so having the right conversations are imperative to making things work. If you are looking to take the leap of love with the one you love, it’s crucial that you make sure you’re not walking into the marriage for the wrong reasons.

Here are four dangerous reasons to say “I do.”

You think getting married will bring you closer.

Far too many women and men get lost in the idea that getting married will make their relationship better. The problems you have in a relationship, will be the same problems you have in a marriage if unchecked. Getting married can’t save a failing relationship or bring you closer together.

All getting married will do is complicate things. It may feel like walking down the aisle will bring you closer in the beginning, but after the honeymoon stage, reality kicks back in. Marriage shouldn’t be used as a tool to manipulate our relationships. When you decide to get married, make sure it’s not for shallow or selfish reasons.

I strongly recommend couples to have Christian pre-marital counseling. Most pastors/bishops require you to do so in order for them to officiate your wedding.

You’ve lowered your relationship expectations.

Make sure the person you plan to marry isn’t someone you’ve lowered your standards for. I’ve seen so many marriages fail because they were unequally yoked from the start. Dating someone who doesn’t believe in God and then expecting them to be a man of God once you’re married is unrealistic.

Just because you’re growing in age doesn’t mean you have to lower your relationship expectations. So many singles get lost in the “I’ll take what I can get at my age” mentality that they think they’re not worthy of a partner who meets their standards.

Contrary to the belief that you have to compromise your desires with age, relationship partners get better with age. This is because you are generally more established, comfortable in your own skin and know exactly what you’re looking for in a relationship with maturity. This doesn’t mean that you should have an overwhelming list of unrealistic expectations, but you shouldn’t lower your standards just to be with someone ESPECIALLY by being unequally yoked.

You’re just tired of being single

I get it. Most of your friends and family are married. It seems like every event you attend turns out to be a couples event, leaving you to be the odd ball. Or maybe like me, you don’t even get invited to these events because you are single.

Or maybe you’re just tired of people questioning you about marriage. It’s bad enough that they ask when or if you will ever get married, But to question… “Why are you not married?” As if not being married automatically means something is wrong with you.

Don’t feel pressured to run to the alter just to fit in with those around you. Wait on God. Listen to His voice on who to marry. If you’re praying about it, He will definitely reveal these things to you when the time is right. Just be patient.

You think you’re over the hurt, but you’re not.

There are many couples who walk into marriage before resolving issues in the relationship. Are you harboring feelings of anger, resentment or guilt? These can get in the way of building a happy marriage.

Another thing that many people do is bring baggage from previous relationships into their new relationships. This is unfair to your mate.

You need to work through these emotions before walking down the aisle, otherwise these issues will continue to be left unresolved.

God is the keystone to any great marriage. So make sure your potential spouse is on the same page as you when it comes to the most important things.

Talking through any fears or concerns you may have will open up stronger communication with your potential spouse. Whether it’s simple questions about the past or understanding your partner’s goals, ideas about the future, these conversations will bring you closer in the long run. Don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions. If you’re thinking about saying ‘I do,’ begin having these conversations. They will take your relationship a long way.



Maya L. Ralston

Maya is a Relationship Counselor and Certified Life Coach. She loves using her God given gifts to pour into the lives of others.

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