4 Things Single Christians Should Know…
1. There’s nothing wrong with having a healthy desire for a husband
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. – Song of Solomon 8:4
If you are happy, content and completely loving your season of singleness, good for you! It’s great that you are able to live your life fully without feeling the pressure of being married. But unfortunately, that’s not everyone’s testimony.
For those of you:
Who are ashamed of your marital status
Who feel that God has forgotten about you;
Who think your married friends are insensitive to your needs
Who feel like you are not close enough to God just because you want to get married, I want to offer you a little encouragement.
2. Don’t believe the enemy’s lies
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. – Philippians 4:11
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get married, as long as you don’t want it more than you want God. Because, there is a difference between having a healthy desire for a spouse and being consumed by the desire of having a spouse.
When you have a healthy desire, you are in God’s will for your life. He created and ordained marriage for multiple reasons. You may not like being single, but you haven’t allowed those desires to stop you from living a healthy, happy, productive life.
You’re still dreaming, hoping, praying and trusting. But you’re satisfied being where God has placed you in this season of life.
Be careful not to let mixed messages from well-intended Christians, who don’t remember what it’s like to be single, make you feel like you’re less than a Christian for desiring a spouse. Even though others may look down on your desire, God does not judge you for having it.
You’re not wrong for wanting to get married. You’re human and that’s the way God made you.
3. Don’t allow your relationship status to become an idol.
I would describe an unhealthy consummation as:
Someone who’s allowed their relationship status to define them
Someone who’s overwhelmed by thoughts of finding a spouse
Someone who has stopped living and has literally become a lady in waiting; or
Someone who can’t think about anything but their wedding day each time they meet a guy
If this is you, I must issue a fair warning. You have made marriage an idol because you are focused on it more than you are focused on God.
It’s not like He doesn’t understand what you’re going through. He can relate to the desires that you have for a husband because He longs to have the same connection with you.
The moment that you repent and refocus on Him is the moment that you can start to live again with the joy and peace that you were meant to have.
4. Your singleness does not limit you
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. – Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
There’s a purpose for you being right where you are. So, whether you are happy being single or totally focused on getting married, ask God what’s His purpose for your singleness?
Maybe there are things He wants you to do now that would be a challenge to do when you’re married. Maybe He wants you to get your debt and spending under control. Or maybe He wants you to go back to school, start a business, or start a ministry.
Regardless of the purpose for your singleness, you should be living life to the fullest! Don’t allow this season to rob you of the abundant life that every Christian should have, regardless of their marital status.
- 4 Things Single Christians Should Know - March 28, 2017
- 3 Lessons Esther Teaches Us About Waiting, Dating, and Marriage - August 16, 2016