Relentlessly pursuing a guy was never God’s intention for us. And instead of chasing a man we need to be chasing Christ.

Here are 5 ways to know if you are chasing a man and 5 key verses to keep you stay grounded in your relationship with Christ first…

1. You’re Seeking a Man’s Validation Instead of God’s

It can be easy to seek validation from a man to fill a void through companionship. It’s natural that as people, we want to be liked.

Whether it’s a work colleague, friend or a relationship interest we often seek validation through people, forgetting to find it in our relationship with Jesus first. It is important to remember that our ultimate self-worth and value is found in Christ alone and not in the opinions of others.

Desiring a relationship is a good thing, but when we use it to validate our self-worth we are missing the mark as Christians. At the end of the day, only God can fill our heart shaped hole.

Growing up, I would often seek validation from men. If I had a crush on a guy, I had a desperate need for him to like me. And if he didn’t I was left feeling slightly worthless and not up to par. Having not found my true worth in Christ alone, I had left it in the hands of another human being and as a result, I was left disappointed.

In my later years, I found that people and relationships can never validate your self-worth; because the only validation you ever needed was already paid on the cross.

‘’This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us’’. 1 John 3:16

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Alicia Mckenzie
Alicia Mckenzie is a writer and speaker seeking to encourage women in embracing their calling to live in their purpose for Christ.


  1. I would say I defenetley chased him Now he does all the chasing!! And calling, and calling , calling whenever I am not right by his side. My friends have always been like really??? We are just having lunch and he has called like 5 times!! Lol

  2. I know its hard to wrap your brain around this now but do you remember the night you introduced me to Bobby and we just hit it off from the start and started I guess they call it today “going out” but we didnt go out really you and I would go to his and Junior Jones place and hang out every single night for about 3 months….I was head over heels in love with him and then he just broke it off and broke my heart, I wouldn’t give up but he continued to turn me away, giving me no reason at all , I finally gave up got a apartment with friends and partied like crazy, never really got over him and then the day I had the wreck he came to see me as soon as he found out and never left, isnt that crazy??? Im sure Gayla Jones Mayhall remembers this also I would go to their house to see him and he clearly wanted a “permanent” break and Gayla would fuss at him for being so mean and break my heart with no explanation at all. So tonight out of the blue I asked him what changed so suddenly for him to break things off and he said” You will find anything to fuss about wont you?? After 32 years the man still cant explain why he broke my heart Lol

  3. If we trust God we can pursue Him and when we do, His purposes for our life become evident. If it’s the right guy, he will want a girl who pursues Christ first and he will in turn pursue you.

    ‘’Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things’’. Colossians 3:2
    I will wait and trust You oh LORD.. I know my KAMAHALAN is coming.. Thank you and I love you..


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