A Secret That Could Ruin My Marriage

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I got married to my husband in September of 2013. We have been together off and on since 2007. We have always struggled with problems throughout our relationship, but nonetheless, I love him. Back in May, I cheated on him (my boyfriend then) with a high school crush. I then justified my infidelity on him never being the boyfriend that I needed him to be. But deep down I knew it was wrong. In July, I found out I was pregnant. Instantly that affair I had resurfaced in my mind. I had been with the other guy and my boyfriend around the same time (please don’t judge me). I did mention it to the other guy, but I dismissed it because we did wear protection. I put the “past” out of my mind, focused on getting things straight with my boyfriend, and married him in September. Now, 7 months into my pregnancy, I can’t help but to think about the lie/secret I’ve been carrying. I went into my marriage dishonestly and I’m so ashamed. I could be carrying a baby that’s not even my husband’s baby and I feel so embarrassed. I am a Christian. I do love God. I feel like a failure and I’m so disappointed in myself. I want to come clean, but I am so fearful to do so. He could divorce me, and that scares me. What should I do?

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