3 Ways to Pray for Your Frenemies

frenemiesWe’ve All Had Them but How Do We Pray for Them?

Life is sometimes not easy to navigate, but with God’s guidance we can show His love to those in our life who need it the most.

There are people that we will meet in life who mirror an image of a true friend. However, at times we can discover that the friendship mirror is actually broken. It’s not built on a firm foundation of love and trust. Some friends can even harbor feelings of anger or resentment towards us. They may have even hardened their hearts, wishing us harm instead of good.

Speaking plainly, a frenemy, is a ‘fake friend’. I’m sure we can all relate to a time when we thought we had a genuine friend, only to realize that the friendship was never true or valid. If we’re honest, at times, we may have been that person too.

Here are 3 ways to pray for our Frenemies:

Ask God to show you, His heart in yours.

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.’’ (1 John 4:7)

“Everyone who loves God, is born of God”. If we love God, we are called to love others too. Even those who may gossip, harm or hurt us in their actions or words. This does not mean that we need to be best friends with everyone, but keep in mind that our witness in love should be greater than our anger in hate.

Even though our feelings of hurt are legitimate; we need to give them to God and love our frenemies. And though, at times, we may need to surrender an unhealthy friendship to the Lord, we still need to pray for those who hurt us.

Checking our heart is not bitter but rather coated in the love and grace of Christ. When our heart is in the right place, true and bona fide healing can take place.

Let us pray: ‘’Lord, reveal to me the transparency of my heart and soften my heart in love towards this person’’.

Surrender the situation to the Savior and give thanks.

Rejoice always,  pray without ceasing,  in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.’’ (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 )

Encountering daily situations in life with family members, work colleagues or friends can be difficult, but God’s word tells us to, “give thanks in all circumstances’’. By giving thanks in all circumstances we can take the time to see God’s perspective in the challenging moments of relational life.

Whenever we are in a difficult situation or relationship, we need to ask God to show us how He can use it so that we can become more like Him, loving others as the mirror of Christ. As we pray for our frenemies it changes our own heart, allowing us to focus on God’s will through the situation. Through doing this we can learn how to surrender it to Him, and not fix it in our own strength.

Let us pray: ‘’Lord, how can I show them Your love?’’

Ask God what can you do to bless this person.

“Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, And do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles’’ (Proverbs 24:17)

When someone has hurt me, at times; I feel like I want to hurt them too. Or at least, if they stumble, there is a part of my human nature that doesn’t feel so sorry for them.

I remember in grade school, I was bullied. The two most popular girls in school invited me over for a play-date. However, I soon realized they invited me over as a cruel joke and at 8 years old, they told me, “We’re the princesses and you’re the maid; you’ll never be one of us.’’ I ran home crying and my recess times were spent alone for the rest of my grade school years. After that, a part of me wanted them to stumble. They had hurt me dreadfully and it took me years to truly forgive them in my heart. Through growing in my own faith, I realized that when someone hurts us (though painful), we need to not take joy when they stumble and fall. Rather we need to help them in brotherly love and show them the true heart of Christ. Doing good unto them as Christ has done to us.

Let us pray: ‘’Dear Lord, what can I do for this person to show them You care for them?’’.

In the end, when we face a ‘frenemy’, we love them, forgive them, do good unto them and treat them with brotherly love. After all isn’t that what Christ has done for us?

‘’But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great’’ (Luke 6:35)

Alicia Mckenzie

Alicia Mckenzie

Alicia Mckenzie is a blogger and writer. She seeks to mutually encourage others through writing about practical Christian living, with an emphasis on divorce and singles ministries.
Alicia Mckenzie


  1. Crystal A Nelson

    May 24, 2017 at 11:32 am

    Leave me alone please….thank you

  2. Tobechi G Eze Eze

    May 24, 2017 at 9:37 am

    But is 2ru

  3. Thelma Kapampa

    May 24, 2017 at 9:21 am

    Its true

  4. Frost Carlene

    May 24, 2017 at 2:24 am

    Jane Bornholm a good read and one to act out even though it’s hard to do. But with God within us anything is possible!

  5. Kimi Valencia

    May 24, 2017 at 12:23 am

    Hannah Magat

  6. Brina Doc

    May 23, 2017 at 8:07 pm

    Great Advice

  7. Dee Young

    May 23, 2017 at 7:24 pm


  8. Karen Taylor

    May 23, 2017 at 6:23 pm

    Great just take it to Jesus he will repay but we are to pray for enemies

  9. Adriane Caron

    May 23, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    I’ve had them live in my home, borrow money that I didn’t see again, make up all sorts of lies, and pretend to be the victim when it all fell down around their ears. God bless them. They will need it.

  10. Nopapa Razzi

    May 23, 2017 at 4:31 pm

    thank you Lord for continuing to keep my heart. help me to remain sober in all areas, give me immense courage, and help me do better guarding my heart. We are crucified with Christ, NEVERTHELESS I LIVE, yet not I but Christ liveth in me. Forever grateful!

  11. Wilhelmina Blue

    May 23, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    So true!!!

  12. Angelina Dowdell

    May 23, 2017 at 3:07 pm

    When it comes to that god be testing u out to see how strong your u either stick with man r work with god

  13. Mba-ogbodo Ifeoma

    May 23, 2017 at 2:38 pm

    Very family has a frenemy.when my mum and sibling’s were going through tough times.she always comes around.surprisingly, things turned around, she stopped coming and started cooking up all sorts of stories.

  14. Queengrace Peter

    May 23, 2017 at 11:55 am


  15. Dalryn Van Cuylenberg

    May 23, 2017 at 11:51 am

    Experienced a few of them Being away with friends and acquaintances brings out the true colours in ppl. O my gosh how insecure can ppl get.

  16. Fredricka Wright

    May 23, 2017 at 9:56 am

    So true. There are people that envy you going to the beauty parlor. The truly dangerous frenemy envy you for having had parents because they didn’t have parents. Sad souls.

  17. Jennifer Lajoie Muanza

    May 23, 2017 at 8:55 am

    Syntiche Brenny Bittaa

  18. Vicky Nkirote

    May 23, 2017 at 7:52 am

    well spoken

  19. Thelma Louise

    May 23, 2017 at 6:41 am

    Amen to that ! As for me and my household, I’m gone trust in the Lord. Sometimes you gotta love people from afar.

  20. Eve Jerome

    May 23, 2017 at 6:36 am


  21. Shelia Morgan

    May 23, 2017 at 5:53 am

    Say it. Very disappointing and unnerving when you notice those that you thought would be clapping have their arms folded.

  22. Sina Joshua

    May 23, 2017 at 5:34 am

    I have a frenemy that if I had to saw them love they will call me fake cause their hate is that great. Sometimes you just have to walk away I sat down with a frenemy one’s and they practically convinced me there’s no problem but their true colours showed at the end of the day. I pray for them from a distance this time

    • Jennifer Lajoie Muanza

      May 23, 2017 at 8:57 am

      I really understand your point. Sometimes you just need to pray that there will be a circumstance so you guys can split and go either their way ❤

  23. Heidi Van Wyk

    May 23, 2017 at 5:32 am

    True i agree

  24. Inreal Life

    May 23, 2017 at 4:35 am


  25. Havah Galia

    May 23, 2017 at 4:09 am

    Godly and sound advice but at this point of my life, I just can’t pray for my frenemies. They’re the worst. “Wrath is cruel and anger is outraging, but who is able to stand before envy? Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds from a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Prov 27, 4-6

  26. Allison Worthen Powell

    May 23, 2017 at 3:49 am

    Worse than a frenemie is a famemie(fake family-people who you are related to that hate you!) This is so hard!

  27. Kiwanuka Victoria

    May 23, 2017 at 3:48 am

    True…… TRUE

  28. Anela Tea-ana Claiborne

    May 23, 2017 at 3:45 am

    The enemy comes to rob steal kill and destroy and eat or devour. So ……..

  29. Heidi Matthews

    May 23, 2017 at 3:41 am

    So true!

  30. Girlbertinah Dikeledi Makgele

    May 23, 2017 at 3:22 am

    True indeed

  31. Nommy Mabuza

    May 23, 2017 at 3:19 am


  32. Shelly Thomas

    May 23, 2017 at 3:10 am

    Amen, some people are just down right jealous of you & hate to see you do better than them.

  33. Tracy Davis

    May 23, 2017 at 3:05 am

    That’s True!!!

  34. Garmei Kennedy

    May 23, 2017 at 2:53 am

    So true

  35. Shanna Marin

    May 23, 2017 at 2:50 am

    Jmechelle White-Epps

  36. Diane Malabo

    May 23, 2017 at 2:41 am

    Frenemies are worse than snakes…I pray God keeps such people away from me!

  37. Jenny-Ulyses Gonzalez

    May 23, 2017 at 2:16 am

    Connie Armona Ribeaux Lilian Rodriguez

    • Lilian Rodriguez

      May 23, 2017 at 11:41 am

      ’But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great’’ (Luke 6:35)

  38. Terry Daley

    May 23, 2017 at 2:14 am


  39. Evelyn Maddox

    May 23, 2017 at 1:40 am


  40. Marci Poux Gray

    May 23, 2017 at 12:57 am

    Justice Gray

  41. Santia Barfield

    May 23, 2017 at 12:48 am

    That last one is tough Da’Shenika Jenkins

    • Da'Shenika Jenkins

      May 23, 2017 at 12:57 am

      Man what??? 😔🤔🤔 idk if I’m ready for that yet

    • Santia Barfield

      May 23, 2017 at 12:59 am

      Da’Shenika Jenkins that’s why I tagged you bc I’m not ready!!

    • Da'Shenika Jenkins

      May 23, 2017 at 1:01 am

      We will get through this together

    • Santia Barfield

      May 23, 2017 at 1:04 am

      Da’Shenika Jenkins we have handled all of our best trials that way. I’m sure this will be no different 💜

  42. Laura Newcomb

    May 23, 2017 at 12:41 am

    Good saying

  43. Oveta Gilliard

    May 23, 2017 at 12:41 am

    Amen…True…Focus my Peoples…One day at a time….

  44. Kim Colclough

    May 23, 2017 at 12:40 am

    Lia Wilkins

  45. Valerie Hannah

    May 23, 2017 at 12:37 am


  46. Tamika Slowley

    May 23, 2017 at 12:31 am


  47. Faith Chalungumana

    May 23, 2017 at 12:31 am

    datx true let dam kip on waitn 4 ma down fall dar ll c me on dar heads

  48. Faith Chalungumana

    May 23, 2017 at 12:29 am

    datx true

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