Most of us have had them, but how do we pray for them?
Life is sometimes not easy to navigate, but with God’s guidance we can show His love to those in our life who need it the most.
There are people that we will meet in life who mirror an image of a true friend. However, at times we can discover that the friendship mirror is actually broken. It’s not built on a firm foundation of love and trust. Some friends can even harbor feelings of anger or resentment towards us. They may have even hardened their hearts, wishing us harm instead of good.
Speaking plainly, a frenemy, is a ‘fake friend’. I’m sure we can all relate to a time when we thought we had a genuine friend, only to realize that the friendship was never true or valid. If we’re honest, at times, we may have been that person too.
Here are 3 ways to pray for our Frenemies:
Ask God to show you, His heart in yours.
‘’Lord, reveal to me the transparency of my heart and soften my heart in love towards this person’’.
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.’’ (1 John 4:7)
“Everyone who loves God, is born of God”. If we love God, we are called to love others too. Even those who may gossip, harm or hurt us in their actions or words. This does not mean that we need to be best friends with everyone, but keep in mind that our witness in love should be greater than our anger in hate.
Even though our feelings of hurt are legitimate; we need to give them to God and love our frenemies. And though, at times, we may need to surrender an unhealthy friendship to the Lord, we still need to pray for those who hurt us.
Checking our heart is not bitter but rather coated in the love and grace of Christ. When our heart is in the right place, true and bona fide healing can take place.
Surrender the situation to the Savior and give thanks.
“Lord, how can I show them Your love?’’
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.’’ (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 )
Encountering daily situations in life with family members, work colleagues or friends can be difficult, but God’s word tells us to, “give thanks in all circumstances’’. By giving thanks in all circumstances we can take the time to see God’s perspective in the challenging moments of relational life.
Whenever we are in a difficult situation or relationship, we need to ask God to show us how He can use it so that we can become more like Him, loving others as the mirror of Christ. As we pray for our frenemies it changes our own heart, allowing us to focus on God’s will through the situation. Through doing this we can learn how to surrender it to Him, and not fix it in our own strength.
Ask God what can you do to bless this person.
‘’Dear Lord, what can I do for this person to show them You care for them?’’.
“Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, And do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles’’ (Proverbs 24:17)
When someone has hurt me, at times; I feel like I want to hurt them too. Or at least, if they stumble, there is a part of my human nature that doesn’t feel so sorry for them.
I remember in grade school, I was bullied. The two most popular girls in school invited me over for a play-date. However, I soon realized they invited me over as a cruel joke and at 8 years old, they told me, “We’re the princesses and you’re the maid; you’ll never be one of us.’’ I ran home crying and my recess times were spent alone for the rest of my grade school years.
After that, a part of me wanted them to stumble. They had hurt me dreadfully and it took me years to truly forgive them in my heart.
Through growing in my own faith, I realized that when someone hurts us (though painful), we need to not take joy when they stumble and fall. Rather we need to help them in brotherly love and show them the true heart of Christ. Doing good unto them as Christ has done to us.
In the end, when we face a ‘frenemy’, we love them, forgive them, do good unto them and treat them with brotherly love. After all isn’t that what Christ has done for us?
‘’But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great’’ (Luke 6:35)
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