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5 Things To Do When People Hurt You

When People Hurt You

When people hurt you, sometimes it’s easier to just walk away and don’t look back. Sometimes we don’t want to work things out and be like Jesus and forgive. 

No matter how hard or strong we claim to be,  the actions of others can sometimes hurt us to our core. Some people may try to tough it out and will pretend the words or actions of others don’t effect them, but the truth of the matter is… sometimes they do!

You can’t control what they do, but you can control how you respond to them.

So how do you deal with those who have offended, mistreated, or hurt you? Some may say the answer is simple: You don’t deal with them at all!

But sometimes it’s just not that simple. Especially when it’s a parent, spouse, or someone you just can’t cut out of your life so easily.

Believe it or not, there are ways to deal with people who have hurt you. I’m not saying you have to be besties, but forgiveness is key.

Here are 5 Things To Do When People Hurt You

1. Nip it In the Bud

Sometimes people are unaware of just how offensive or hurtful something they’ve said or done really is. You may be holding a grudge towards someone who means no harm. The only way to be sure is to have a conversation with that person to let them know how you’re feeling. I don’t mean, a shouting match, but a grown up conversation where both parties are willing to listen to each other. You’d be surprised what a civilized conversation can fix.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. – James 1:19

2. Understand It’s not you, It’s them

Remember that there will almost always be somebody who adores everything about you and says only nice things about you, and someone who hates everything about you and has nothing nice to say about you. You have a million people who love you, why focus on the one person who doesn’t? 

You’ll never be perfect. Jesus was perfect, and they STILL hated Him.

3. Don’t try to get even

Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord.”- Romans 12:19

When people hurt you, don’t try to get even. Tit for tat only makes you as wrong as them.

When you let people get you out of character, you give them power and when you give them power, you give them the power to take your focus off Christ. Don’t let anyone’s hate, drama, and negativity keep you from being the person God wants you to be.

4. Forgive the Offense

R. Brault said it nicely, “Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got.”

Sometimes we have to forgive them even if they are not sorry.

Life is complicated enough without trying to figure out why one person is always putting you down, always trying to contradict you, always taking cheap shots at you or always saying and doing things to hurt you.

When people hurt you, it can be hard to move into a place of forgiveness , but remember  forgiveness is not about the other person; it’s about you giving yourself the permission to emotionally move on from someone who has hurt you and taking back your happiness.

But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. – Matthew 5:44

5. Pray

Now you knew I wasn’t going to end this post without stating the obvious.  While it is important for us to pray for guidance and a forgiving heart, The bible also says that we are to pray for those who persecute us.

I know, I know… When people hurt you, praying for them is the last thing you want to do for them. But don’t knock it till you try it. It’s so liberating.

Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. – Mark 11:25

60 Comments

60 Comments

  1. Melissa Aviyah Hume

    May 2, 2017 at 3:20 am

    Nope where i live no one here loves me

  2. Aaron McCoy

    April 29, 2017 at 12:11 am

    Got somtin 4 U, GIF!

  3. Fionah Salim

    April 28, 2017 at 8:39 am

    I love the article its an encouragement forgiveness is key thing it goes hand in hand with prayers especially when the pain is deep its only God who can give you the grace to forgive those who have really hurt you

  4. Wendie DeBoice

    April 27, 2017 at 8:12 am

    It’s amazing how free u feel when u do all this

  5. Irene Mathias

    April 27, 2017 at 7:19 am

    Lord Jesus help us… Sometimes it’s not easy but we need your guidance

  6. Cora Smith

    April 27, 2017 at 4:32 am

    So True

  7. Shirley Johannes

    April 27, 2017 at 4:22 am

    Yeah…

  8. QueenRegina Codrington

    April 27, 2017 at 4:10 am

    Yes! Yes!

  9. Larissa Cassell

    April 27, 2017 at 1:12 am

    Idk about a ‘million’

  10. Ahquing Fernandez

    April 26, 2017 at 11:11 pm

    Ate Josephine Alabanza

  11. Laticia Bailey

    April 26, 2017 at 9:06 pm

    Hmm

  12. Nana Sweat

    April 26, 2017 at 8:39 pm

    I have been hurt also but gave the hurt Jesus an he handle it an I walked on

  13. Devonna Perez

    April 26, 2017 at 3:56 pm

    Jessica Rae

  14. Cindy Hull

    April 26, 2017 at 1:33 pm

    Your right . I am to focused on the ones that love me to even care.

  15. Waiting for your Boaz

    April 26, 2017 at 11:44 am

    Amen, forgiveness is the key to setting yourself free. <3 We must forgive as we have been forgiven

  16. Brina Doc

    April 26, 2017 at 10:58 am

    So True..,

  17. Gail Coleman

    April 26, 2017 at 10:53 am

    I know exactly how you feel Pinky!! My situation is one that happened at work with a boss and I’m asking God to help me overcome it, because I want all that God has for me!! I pray that God will help all of us!! Have a blessed day in the Lord!!

  18. Debra White

    April 26, 2017 at 10:37 am

    God forgave our transgressions. He died to atone for our sins. We are to follow his example and forgive others that have transgressed against us. This releases the effect that enemy has on our minds and releases God’s judgement regarding the situation.

  19. Jane Casey

    April 26, 2017 at 10:30 am

    Saren Richardson

  20. Jocolia Tshosane

    April 26, 2017 at 10:16 am

    Seriouz

  21. Mzinya Neh Sanelisiwe

    April 26, 2017 at 7:20 am

    I’ve been hurt by someone i was in love with.

  22. Annie Keith

    April 26, 2017 at 6:51 am

    Cassandra Huffman

  23. Carey Sanchez

    April 26, 2017 at 6:27 am

    For Sophia, Aidee Arpon.

  24. Dally Fontaine

    April 26, 2017 at 6:19 am

    Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life for your own peace of mind and love them from a far; forgiveness doesn’t mean you need to be abused.

  25. Pinky Ramatlotlo

    April 26, 2017 at 6:09 am

    I dnt forgive easily i need to pray abt it …and let God guide me on hw to change that

    • Sabelo Innocent

      April 26, 2017 at 8:27 am

      the principle of being forgiven by god is that u forgive others so dont bound urself release u will be released

    • Pinky Ramatlotlo

      April 26, 2017 at 8:57 am

      Amen ..thanx

    • Seboladi Moeti

      April 26, 2017 at 3:27 pm

      My dear is not easy but with God u can do it ask holy spirit,i did few weeks back

    • Pinky Ramatlotlo

      April 26, 2017 at 4:57 pm

      Thanx …i will try my best

  26. Hdz Sleepy

    April 26, 2017 at 5:27 am

    Just what I needed, God is good

  27. Daisy Michelle Webala

    April 26, 2017 at 5:24 am

    Yeah

  28. Tops Ntswakana

    April 26, 2017 at 5:17 am

    Believe me its not easy to forget those hurtful words and things they have done to me..they always cumback to haunt me
    What makes it more difficult is that they are family.

    • Phil Abbey

      April 26, 2017 at 8:49 am

      You have to let it go, be thankful to God for whom you are today.

    • Maureen Obanye-Ananweze

      April 26, 2017 at 3:00 pm

      Take it to the Lord in prayer

    • Seboladi Moeti

      April 26, 2017 at 3:33 pm

      Pray pray about it nothing is impossible with God

    • Seboladi Moeti

      April 26, 2017 at 8:46 pm

      I’m telling u their words hurts a lot,more ecspecialy when u are trying ur best but is nothing to them just pray and love them

  29. Christina Soledad

    April 26, 2017 at 5:11 am

    Alicia Ramirez

  30. Princess Dusk

    April 26, 2017 at 4:53 am

    How about there are million who hurts,discriminate and doesnt love you back but there is ONE, the love who never fails, always trust,always hopes and consistent…

    • Princess Dusk

      April 27, 2017 at 2:23 am

      Because there is no way that a MILLION will love you unless your a famous one but how about an ordinary girl like me…

  31. Vicki Cox

    April 26, 2017 at 4:32 am

    Wish I had seen this 2 days ago

  32. Terry Daley

    April 26, 2017 at 4:15 am

    Amen

  33. Terry Elmore Parrish

    April 26, 2017 at 4:08 am

    I’ve been deeply hurt by some people, family and so called friends. I completely erase them from my being. I’m a great person that will do anything for you but hurt me and you are dead to me!

    • Jackie Davis

      April 26, 2017 at 7:37 am

      I feel just like you!

    • Phil Abbey

      April 26, 2017 at 8:55 am

      Everyone experienced such treatment from family and friends but you have to let it go and move forward with your life, a proverb in my tribe say you don’t look or listen to the market noise but focusing on your mission that brought you to the market. God as a good plan for you don’t be distracted

    • Terry Elmore Parrish

      April 26, 2017 at 9:38 am

      I did let it go. My husband and best friend had an affair so I divorced him and never had anything to do with her. Family members mentally abused me so don’t have anything to do with them. I’m fine now and have moved on!

    • Lexy St. James

      April 27, 2017 at 3:22 am

      Not sure if it’s healthy or right but I’m a cutter…cut you right on out my life and keep moving. Don’t wish anything bad on you but I HAVE TO GAURD MY PEACE OF MIND.

  34. Heather Prince

    April 26, 2017 at 4:03 am

    Becky Richards this is a good article

  35. Phyllis Ladd

    April 26, 2017 at 3:49 am

    Amen

    • George C Lloyd

      April 26, 2017 at 11:29 pm

      Hi Phyllis. well i went through your profile and i like your sens of humor i would love to get to know you add me if you don’t mind,hope to see you on my page

  36. Lou Willroth

    April 26, 2017 at 3:44 am

    I have been hurt, and really can’t let go of it. How do u do it? I have prayed my heart out. It still comes back to haunt me.

    • Ndumie Thwala

      April 26, 2017 at 3:50 am

      Same feeling I try not to think about it but it keeps on coming back

    • Christina Whitehead

      April 26, 2017 at 4:09 am

      For me when those thoughts come I just start thanking him for all he’s done for me. It helps me be so grateful and I stop focusing on the hurt. That’s just me…

    • MsLisa Itsgonebealright

      April 26, 2017 at 5:08 am

      The Bible tells us to cast the imagination /thoughts down and bring it subject to the obedience of Christ. Works for me

    • Philomina John

      April 26, 2017 at 6:29 am

      If U Find It Defficult To 4gv Or 4get Ds People Dt Hurt U! Stop Strongling Alone, Just Ask God To Help U To 4gv N 4get Them, Believe Me U Wil Surely Av An Excellence Result.

    • Mary Ann Sia

      April 26, 2017 at 7:42 am

      Forgiveness is the only way to overcome your pain your hurt and sufferings. Not because you need it but because it is the only way to heal you from within. Peace will replace your bitterness and you will feel the love of God .

    • Sabelo Innocent

      April 26, 2017 at 8:30 am

      maditate upon fillip 4

  37. ZuBy Masih Kahn

    April 26, 2017 at 3:38 am

    Roshi Khan Itrat Imran J Gill Basyrat Khan

  38. Maribel

    April 10, 2017 at 11:27 pm

    What if its your own family member? It seems to hurt more and makes it so much more difficult, to me at least.

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