When people hurt you, sometimes it’s easier to just walk away and don’t look back. Sometimes we don’t want to work things out and be like Jesus and forgive.
No matter how hard or strong we claim to be, the actions of others can sometimes hurt us to our core. Some people may try to tough it out and will pretend the words or actions of others don’t effect them, but the truth of the matter is… sometimes they do!
You can’t control what they do, but you can control how you respond to them.
So how do you deal with those who have offended, mistreated, or hurt you? Some may say the answer is simple: You don’t deal with them at all!
But sometimes it’s just not that simple. Especially when it’s a parent, spouse, or someone you just can’t cut out of your life so easily.
Believe it or not, there are ways to deal with people who have hurt you. I’m not saying you have to be besties, but forgiveness is key.
Here are 5 Things To Do When People Hurt You
1. Nip it In the Bud
Sometimes people are unaware of just how offensive or hurtful something they’ve said or done really is. You may be holding a grudge towards someone who means no harm. The only way to be sure is to have a conversation with that person to let them know how you’re feeling. I don’t mean, a shouting match, but a grown up conversation where both parties are willing to listen to each other. You’d be surprised what a civilized conversation can fix.
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. – James 1:19
2. Understand It’s not you, It’s them
Remember that there will almost always be somebody who adores everything about you and says only nice things about you, and someone who hates everything about you and has nothing nice to say about you. You have a million people who love you, why focus on the one person who doesn’t?
You’ll never be perfect. Jesus was perfect, and they STILL hated Him.
3. Don’t try to get even
Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord.”- Romans 12:19
When people hurt you, don’t try to get even. Tit for tat only makes you as wrong as them.
When you let people get you out of character, you give them power and when you give them power, you give them the power to take your focus off Christ. Don’t let anyone’s hate, drama, and negativity keep you from being the person God wants you to be.
4. Forgive the Offense
R. Brault said it nicely, “Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got.”
Sometimes we have to forgive them even if they are not sorry.
Life is complicated enough without trying to figure out why one person is always putting you down, always trying to contradict you, always taking cheap shots at you or always saying and doing things to hurt you.
When people hurt you, it can be hard to move into a place of forgiveness , but remember forgiveness is not about the other person; it’s about you giving yourself the permission to emotionally move on from someone who has hurt you and taking back your happiness.
But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. – Matthew 5:44
Now you knew I wasn’t going to end this post without stating the obvious. While it is important for us to pray for guidance and a forgiving heart, The bible also says that we are to pray for those who persecute us.
I know, I know… When people hurt you, praying for them is the last thing you want to do for them. But don’t knock it till you try it. It’s so liberating.
Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. – Mark 11:25