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5 Things You Should Realize If You’re Single


As much as I tried to focus on enjoying this Valentine’s Day with my husband, 2 wonderful kids and other loved ones, I could not resist the urge to journal my thoughts on this topic.

A lot of Christians have been waiting and trusting God for their husbands, knights in shining armour and they wish that he would show up sooner rather than later.

While there is nothing wrong with this attitude or disposition, we must however not forget that the state we are in while doing the expectation is very important and goes a long way in determining whether we actualise this dream.

If you are to meet and fall in love with the right person, at the right time, in the right way, at the right place, it all starts with you. Some people ask…

“Why have I been ready for the last 5-10 years just waiting and praying for my man to show up?”

Have you considered that the delay may be partly due to how you are waiting and your state of readiness or lack of it? I am not trying to undermine you if you are single because by stating the above, it almost implies that everyone who is married was in the best state and waited the right way. That is not what I am saying at all.

By the grace of God, some people effortlessly meet their spouses at the right time, in the right way and not by their works etc. But if you are still single after a long period of time, then it is important for you to pay close attention to your situation and individuality. We all are different and therefore you shouldn’t expect that the way your friend, Natasha met her fiancé is the way you will meet yours or that the age she got married is when you also will.

So what are the things you must pay close attention to if you are single and searching?

1. You are different and therefore don’t indulge in comparing yourself to others.

2. Marriage is not a destination but a journey in its own right and so you must be prepared adequately for that journey to succeed.

3. We usually gravitate towards those people or things that are familiar to us and so therefore if you are used to being treated badly and abused, you may well attract someone who will abuse you. Or even if it is just that you have not learnt to value yourself, you may find yourself in the company of those who have no value for themselves too. And anyone who does not value himself or herself cannot value others. You may need to work on yourself first in this regard.

4. Loving others is an extension of the love that you have for yourself. This implies you cannot properly love others or accept their genuine love if you don’t truly love yourself. This works vice versa.

5. Your marital status does not define you. In fact, it presents a great opportunity for you to keep working at yourself and for God to work on your future husband. After all you cannot give what you do not have. Maybe the reason you have not been discovered is because you have not discovered yourself. So quit looking outward but instead look inward.