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Am I Being Punished?

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Prayer Request: Okay, my life is absolutely spiralling out of control. I know for the past few years I have lost touch with god and have almost become atheist, but I have wanted to become closer to god for a long time, but during the summer I became someone who Satan lived inside for a while. I was cussing a lot, I was throwing the finger, I was using god’s name in vain. But I tried to become closer to god, but I couldn’t go to church because of my busy schedule. But this year, I believe I am being punished for my sins harshly. This year, school has been tough on me, my friends are changing, I have done things I am not proud of one bit, and my life is spiralling out of control. This year alone, my grades have slipped, I am stressed more than ever, God keeps putting me on a trail of guys that always end up leading to heartbreak, I have just been a complete wreck this year. I don’t know, I feel I am being punished for something, because everyday it seems to be one bad thing after another. I just feel like God hates me and wants to punish me for what I had sinned.