Remember why you got married, the love, the commitment, the dreams and aspiration for your future together, wanting to raise your family in a loving home etc. Sometimes after years or even months of marriage – when LIFE kicks in: work, raising the kids, daily routine etc. couples may forget why they got married in the first place; especially if they are dealing with a very difficult challenge in their marriage. You’re feeling like things aren’t going your way, things are not what you thought they should be, he or she just doesn’t listen to you, there’s resentment, communication – what communication? Everything just seems completely upside down and you’re at the point of – I just don’t care! I’m tired, I’m done, I want out. But this is the moment when you need to remember WHY? Remember the reasons you fell in love, remember all the things you want to accomplish together, remember the family you want for your kids, remember your vows. I’ve found that when faced with a difficult challenge in my marriage, thinking back on the reasons for getting married helps me to stick in and fight for the marriage I want – a great one! It gets really hard sometimes in marriage – you may think how is it that the one person I chose to spend the rest of my life with is giving me so much opposition or cause of discontent? That’s a conflict in its self, right? Well that just proves that we as individuals aren’t perfect, but if we work together instead of against each other we can have a darn near perfect marriage. When trials come in marriage the first or second response shouldn’t be to call it quits. Yes I know it just seems too difficult to try to work things out. But you know what I’ve found? Most times during a conflict I may want to call it quits because I just don’t want to fight harder for my marriage, it’s too much, I just want to give up, seems I’ll get a quicker relief that way. But how much stronger would your marriage be if you stuck in there and fight to keep your marriage: healthy, filled with love, peace, loyalty, trust, commitment, faithfulness and above all God in the center? (Yes I know it takes both parties to work towards this, but sometimes just one person needs to take the first step.) Sometimes the best things are worth fighting for. Considering your circumstances – don’t be quick to bail. Fight for the marriage you want, it may take a couple rounds in the ring, but the win at the end would be worth it!
Khara blogs about faith, parenting, marriage, fashion, novels and her Bahamian heritage. She is the author of novels 'Not My Will', ‘Purple Tears’ & ‘Bahama Love’. She has also written and self-published a children's book titled 'Island Girl'.