Some married folks are quick to complain about the flaws of their spouse. For some odd reason many of us think we’re perfect. It’s difficult to recognize our own errors, but easy to point out those of others. Go figure.

When I was a young single I had this image of the perfect spouse. A mate who catered to my every need with limited flaws seemed ideal. Unrealistic, I know. What I didn’t consider was that in order to attract a worthy mate I had to be one first. I had to think about my role and responsibility as a potential wife.

Now that I’m married, I have a vision of the type of wife I desire to be; it includes being attentive to my husband’s needs. I want to be the kind of spouse I expect of my husband. In order for that to happen,a few personal changes must be made.

Now imagine yourself in your spouse’s shoes. What specifically would you see as areas of improvement? Are you lazy, or a poor listener? Do you have frequent mood swings or do you struggle with intimacy? The first step to resolving any challenge is acknowledging it exists.What if every couple approached marriage the same way, displaying the behaviors we seek in our partner? A great place to begin is to honestly answer the question, would you marry you? Today I’m able to answer, yes. Here are a few reasons why.

I bring positive energy to my marriage because I’m an eternal optimist.

I am truly drama free.

I practice peace and I’m considerate of my husband’s feelings.

I’m mindful of my tongue and the words I choose to use.

I’m not big on complaining or nagging.

I express myself so my husband is never clueless to how I’m feeling.

I’m spontaneous and enjoy spending quality time with my husband.

If ever we wonder how to improve, heal or create stronger relationships, it will always begin with us. We must examine who we are as a spouse and what we bring into our marriage. Everyone should take an honest assessment of their role as spouse and be ready and willing to change any behavior that doesn’t benefit the relationship.