Whether it’s allotting a few hours a day to browse potential Tinder candidates or venturing out to the local coffee bar more often than you should, finding “Mr. Right” is often top priority on any single gal’s to-do list. Infatuated with the idea that the man of our dreams isn’t far beyond our reach, we find hope in stumbling into the quaint coffee shop, committing to the right gym or attending the crowded party in order to land in his very presence.
You name it–I’ve dated. From the habitual cheater to the nonsensical liar, my unhealthy enumeration of men could have planted the seed for a great self-help book on what not to do. Somewhere down the line, I started to view relational disappointments, starting over and self-healing as a part of the routine. Shattering heartbreaks led me to question everything I believed in, including God.
How could the God whom I serve, permit the “enemy” to show up in so many forms? Why wouldn’t he give me the heads up that each relationship was bound to unravel and that heartbreak was just around the corner?
I thought my last relationship was my absolute last relationship. I had become the hopeless romantic who had officially lost all hope as emotional abuse and abandonment had long substituted love and happiness. Longing to escape the endless cycle, I surrendered.
One night as I was lying in bed, I listened to a compelling sermon by Bishop T.D. Jakes. “I am the LORD, your Holy One, The Creator of Israel, your King. Thus says the LORD, who makes a way through the sea and a path through the mighty waters.” Isaiah 43.
There it was: the passage for my pain. In that moment, my worry subsided and I was fully comforted:
“He is one who makes a way despite the obstacles and all that appears limited to the natural,” Bishop T.D. Jakes reminded me.
The only confirmation I needed.
For four single years, I reveled in my journey with God. I had committed myself to reading the word, fasting, praying three times a day and becoming a helping hand to friends, family, church members and strangers around me. I felt reborn and settled in my new found happiness.
Like many, before being placed into the happiest period of my life, I had to overcome some of my darkest moments. And if there were ever any doubts in your mind – the devil is real.
I stopped blaming myself for the downfall of my relationships and became even less concerned with finding “the one.” I enjoyed the simple pleasures of heading to a movie alone and hearing the sweet sounds of “Nicole, table for one.”
The moment my life changed was the moment I began wearing my “singleness” comfortably and proudly.
I recently read an article that asked if praying for a partner was considered desperate. I’ve learned that God wants to be included in every aspect of our lives. Things we may find unworthy of His attention are usually quite the opposite.
Whenever we find ourselves amidst deep dark loneliness, it’s important to know that being alone provides us the opportunity and space to grow in faith and to grow into the woman God has called us to be. He will use us in our moments of pain to prepare us to for all that He has for us. Even when it’s difficult, do you trust in Him to deliver?
I remained obedient to His word and my faithful walk with God brought me the man of my prayers. He wasn’t the outcome of online dating or the fairytale movie meeting at a cute coffee shop. But what he was, was the outcome of what God had prepared me and healed me for.
God knows when you’re ready.