in , ,

Why Am I Still Single?

why am i single

single woman

Why Am I Single? I’m not sure why, but this has been a question I’ve heard a lot in the last week or two. Asked by a variety of people. (random strangers at Target, friends and family, Facebook friends, networking events, church events, and so on).

They’d ask “Why are you single?… Why aren’t you married? How has someone not snatched you up yet?, etc.”

Those who are married or in a relationship, your intentions may be good.  But, that can be a tough, semi frustrating question to answer. It often leaves us single folks doubting ourselves. At least that’s what happened to me. 

After hearing it so much in one week, the enemy used it against me and had me questioning myself, filling my head with doubts, and wondering “Wait… why am I single?” Briefly.

Then, I stood against the enemy and remembered why. I’m single because I choose to be.

I’m single because I’ve made the mistake of not waiting on who God had in store for me and I refuse to do it again.

I’m single because I’m a busy, single mom with a full time job,  and it’s hard to find a man who understands that Sundays are the only nights I can generally go on a date.

Most importantly, I’m single because that’s what He wants for me. I’m single because this time, I want to wait patiently on The Lord.

I often look back to Ruth and how patient she was. She’s proof that waiting patiently is OK. In this waiting period, God is working in me and my heart.  He’s refining my soul and developing a level of patience in me that I didn’t know was possible. I’ll let Him continue to mold me. 

Why Am I Single?

I believe while He’s working in me, He’s also preparing my future husband to be the man and leader God intends for His Daughter. Sure, being single has it’s not so good moments. However, settling into a relationship or marriage outside of His will is a lot worse. I’ve done that before and each time it ended in unnecessary heartaches and led me off His path.

I now realize, just as God can use the right people to get you closer to Him, satan will use the wrong people to pull you away.

I’m single because I’ve decided to seek after God’s standards and not my own. Earlier this year, I ended a new relationship, that initially seemed amazing, but He wasn’t who God planned for me. I had to set aside MY desires for HIS. Later, I learned that my obedience saved me from a wolf in sheep’s clothing. 

Am I saying the man God has in store for me is perfect? OF COURSE NOT! And I know that I’m far from it. I stumble and I am reminded daily that I need a savior.

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)

Yes… the Bible is clear about being equally yoked. That doesn’t mean we are perfect–it simply means that together we will grow our relationship with Christ and He’ll be our #1. I should be loved just as Christ loves the church.

The man He has in store for me will love me enough to LEAD ME closer to Him, will be faithful, will honor and respect my walk and will walk beside me.

Oh, and he’ll be okay with Sundays being our only date nights. So, I’m single because I’m choosing to wait until that man is put in my life by the One who knows me best.

I’m confident with who I am in Christ. I KNOW my worth isn’t defined by my looks or relationship status.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

On that note: Ladies: it’s okay to be happy with YOURSELF.  Don’t get too caught up on looks. Be secure in who you are as His Daughter. If not, those insecurities will keep you from being truly happy.  From being His best. There isn’t a man or relationship out there who can give you that. That can only come from the One who created you.

The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:34)

So yeah, I’m single and  I’m rejoicing in all that He’s brought in to my life during this time of being single. I’m thankful for how much I’ve grown. I’m thankful He’s called me to use this time to serve at the Church, give more, and restructure my circle to include friends who understand.

Most importantly, I’m able to do these things without distraction. I want you ladies to know that it’s perfectly fine to be happily single and steadfast with your standards.

It’s okay to be thankful for this chapter and what God can do in your life as a single woman. Cherish these times. He will bless you abundantly-far more than you can imagine.

Just trust His timing. Be Ruth and trust Him with your Boaz. 

Tammi Emerson
Latest posts by Tammi Emerson (see all)