Why Am I Still Single?

single woman

Why Am I Single? I’m not sure why, but this has been a question I’ve heard a lot in the last week or two. Asked by a variety of people. (random strangers at Target, friends and family, Facebook friends, networking events, church events, and so on).

They’d ask “Why are you single?… Why aren’t you married? How has someone not snatched you up yet?, etc.”

Those who are married or in a relationship, your intentions may be good.  But, that can be a tough, semi frustrating question to answer. It often leaves us single folks doubting ourselves. At least that’s what happened to me. 

After hearing it so much in one week, the enemy used it against me and had me questioning myself, filling my head with doubts, and wondering “Wait… why am I single?” Briefly.

Then, I stood against the enemy and remembered why. I’m single because I choose to be.

I’m single because I’ve made the mistake of not waiting on who God had in store for me and I refuse to do it again.

I’m single because I’m a busy, single mom with a full time job,  and it’s hard to find a man who understands that Sundays are the only nights I can generally go on a date.

Most importantly, I’m single because that’s what He wants for me. I’m single because this time, I want to wait patiently on The Lord.

I often look back to Ruth and how patient she was. She’s proof that waiting patiently is OK. In this waiting period, God is working in me and my heart.  He’s refining my soul and developing a level of patience in me that I didn’t know was possible. I’ll let Him continue to mold me. 

Why Am I Single?

I believe while He’s working in me, He’s also preparing my future husband to be the man and leader God intends for His Daughter. Sure, being single has it’s not so good moments. However, settling into a relationship or marriage outside of His will is a lot worse. I’ve done that before and each time it ended in unnecessary heartaches and led me off His path.

I now realize, just as God can use the right people to get you closer to Him, satan will use the wrong people to pull you away.

I’m single because I’ve decided to seek after God’s standards and not my own. Earlier this year, I ended a new relationship, that initially seemed amazing, but He wasn’t who God planned for me. I had to set aside MY desires for HIS. Later, I learned that my obedience saved me from a wolf in sheep’s clothing. 

Am I saying the man God has in store for me is perfect? OF COURSE NOT! And I know that I’m far from it. I stumble and I am reminded daily that I need a savior.

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)

Yes… the Bible is clear about being equally yoked. That doesn’t mean we are perfect–it simply means that together we will grow our relationship with Christ and He’ll be our #1. I should be loved just as Christ loves the church.

The man He has in store for me will love me enough to LEAD ME closer to Him, will be faithful, will honor and respect my walk and will walk beside me.

Oh, and he’ll be okay with Sundays being our only date nights. So, I’m single because I’m choosing to wait until that man is put in my life by the One who knows me best.

I’m confident with who I am in Christ. I KNOW my worth isn’t defined by my looks or relationship status.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

On that note: Ladies: it’s okay to be happy with YOURSELF.  Don’t get too caught up on looks. Be secure in who you are as His Daughter. If not, those insecurities will keep you from being truly happy.  From being His best. There isn’t a man or relationship out there who can give you that. That can only come from the One who created you.

The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:34)

So yeah, I’m single and  I’m rejoicing in all that He’s brought in to my life during this time of being single. I’m thankful for how much I’ve grown. I’m thankful He’s called me to use this time to serve at the Church, give more, and restructure my circle to include friends who understand.

Most importantly, I’m able to do these things without distraction. I want you ladies to know that it’s perfectly fine to be happily single and steadfast with your standards.

It’s okay to be thankful for this chapter and what God can do in your life as a single woman. Cherish these times. He will bless you abundantly-far more than you can imagine.

Just trust His timing. Be Ruth and trust Him with your Boaz. 

Tammi Emerson

Written by Tammi Emerson


Tammi Emerson writes about things she's extremely passionate about... and she's passionate about Jesus! Besides hanging out with her 5 year old, she loves being outside, volunteering with the church, and meeting new people.

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Hey Linda. I think it is healthy to be angry even if it is towards God sometimes, he knows your frustrations, your fears and weakness and he wants you to trust him through it all. I pray that whatever is happening in your life, God shares a light and gives you the wisdom and patience to serve him faithfully. God is blessing you and keeping you whether you see it or not. Satan is a liar, because he has convinced you that you are alone. And in the word it says ”I will never leave you nor forsake you”. ”you… Read more »


It’s so hard to wait when you feel ready to be in a relationship and all you meet are men that do not measure up. With every passing day I become more hopeless in finding that strong man of God I desire. All I seem to find are children.


We have been programmed by society to believe a lie that a woman becomes complete when they are married and therefore the pressure starts so young in a woman to be married. I believe the word to God to be the final authority in the life of a believer and whole heartedly believe that God’s will is for his children to find their perfect match and fulfill their purpose on earth – but until that happens women are to follow their dreams, passion and purpose. Marriage does not fulfil anyone – if it did there will be no divorce in… Read more »


It really sucks when everyone else has a love life that many others like us would have wanted as well, especially for many of us single men that never expected to be single this long.

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