I didn’t want to be alone when I was single. My single state felt like an uncomfortable glove. I was addicted to love and the feeling it produced in me. I wasn’t very selective when it came to choosing whom the love came from, I just wanted someone to quell my desire; at the time I didn’t see it that way, I just called it “dating”. One failed relationship proceeded another in hopes that the giddiness of new love would numb out the pain of the previous one.
Looking back it was a destructive vicious cycle with no end. I tried justifying every failure with, “well he wasn’t the one… next”. I was in search of love and validation that I was worth loving. I can only imagine what God was thinking as He looked down at His precious creation. Me.
I prayed for my husband since I was 13 years old but I didn’t have the patience to sit and wait on the Lord. I figured God would work through my reckless decisions and give me my well deserved happy ending. That erroneous thought process led me down dark paths and caused me worthless pain, pain that God did not intend for me to suffer, but I thought I knew better than God. God wasn’t fast enough so the next logical thing was “I thought” to help Him. Little did I know that instead of helping Him I was thwarting His perfect plan for me and delaying His best.
For so many years I chased love when all the while love was chasing me. Through all my heartbreaks the Lord silently sat by my side nursing my tears and knitting my heart back together. He silently waited for me to finally realize that it was His love I longed for.
Does this sound eerily similar?
Are you afraid of being alone?
Are you struggling during the wait?
Don’t thwart God’s plan for your life by taking the lead in your story. Stop looking for love because at the end of the day no human love will ever fill the need implanted in your heart by God himself. He knew before your existence that your need for love would lead you to seek more, to seek Him.
Don’t fear what comes along with being single, let God show you the wonderful things that can be birthed during this time. Stop seeking love from others and allow His love to take over. Let it do what it’s meant to do which is to complete and satisfy.