Finding Closure After “It’s over” by Letting God Take the Reins


Walking around with heaviness from having not fully addressing my break up in a matured way, the Holy Spirit prepared me to speak to my ex. I got a heads up in my spirit about him contacting me and shortly afterwards I received an email from him asking to meet up with me later on that week. I was nervous and yet thankful, because in that moment I believed that God was giving me another chance to make things right and to give Him the glory.

God can’t get the glory when we take the reins and make a mess of his plans. I had to ask God to clean me up, decrease me so His spirit could be in me for this meeting. I prayed for the meeting and invited God to meet us there at the Starbucks on time; I gave Him the address and everything! I went on a candy fast to let Him know that I was serious (I have a bad candy habit). What I wanted from this meeting was for God to get the glory and for closure to happen.

That morning of the meetup I was mentally prepping myself. Any over-thinker will tell you that we tend to play and replay the future situation in our mind so we’ll be ready to respond to anything. And my mind was running all kinds of scenarios. I asked Jesus to calm the storms in my mind so that I could focus less on me and more so on what needed to take place.

When I finally left my office to walk towards the Starbucks, I took a longer route to collect my thoughts as if going to class to take a final exam. This is it, I didn’t know what to expect, I just prayed that God would meet us there and have His way. It was awkward for both of us at first, then we started talking about life in the now, family, and our individual plans for the immediate future. The conversation included apologies for our mistakes in 2014. I apologized for how I broke up with with him. It wasn’t wise or gracious. It had caused hurt for him that in turn hurt me and caused a lot of confusion. Above all, it didn’t give God the glory. But being able to apologize to him face to face meant a lot and I felt a weight off of my shoulders.

I felt relieved again when he apologized for his actions towards me that have hurt me and given me a sense of guilt and shame. We came to an agreement that we both really weren’t in the best place to be in a relationship, in the beginning, which put things in perspective as to why it didn’t work out, in the end.

It starts with loving yourself, loving the God who made you just the way you are, and taking the time to enter relationships correctly.

My goal with writing posts like this is to help encourage singles to learn from their mistakes and apply those lessons in their lives so that the marriage that they decide to be in will be successful. It starts with loving yourself, loving the God who made you just the way you are, and taking the time to enter relationships correctly. It’s a lesson learned and I will apply it next time, whenever that will be.

I’m thankful that we talked about everything and can really just close the chapter that was us. I always pray for him to be healed, delivered, and set free to love again and be loved the way he deserves. I’m thankful that God has matured him in the months post-break-up to approach me and attempt to clear the air. It worked and I know God will reward him for that. I feel better, grateful and thankful to God for hearing me and making this happen. I feel much closer to breakthrough in my life.

Maybe it’s not going to be like this with an ex for you. Some relationships ended badly due to issues of abuse, infidelity, etc. But whatever happens, get the lesson and get your life back on track. God is a healer, deliverer, and mender—I’m a witness!

If God is steering you in the direction to mend a bad break up, take your time and let God set it up. Even if you can’t meet this person face to face or even communicate with them, it’s time to forgive yourself, forgive them, and truly let God handle the rest. I pray that you get healing in your heart from your past and are free to move forward in life and in love.