Are You Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places?

Pretty Smiling Girl

Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

“Self-worth could very well, possibly be a lifetime lesson. I am 36 years old and honestly, I’ve really just started learning the importance of this 2 years ago.”

Many of today’s role models in entertainment are promoting this to young women:

“The shorter the shorts, the better and the lower the cleavage the better.”

“Seven-inch platform heels are hot, strippers are cool, and twerking is sexy.” 

Like this is what will get someone’s attention. This makes you sexy and sexy is important. Sexy is what gets the man. Women are still fighting the conditioning that says you’re nothing without a man…

No wonder so many young women are confused and have a skewed view on what it means to have a good sense of self worth and what its means to love and value yourself.

“I spent years in dysfunctional relationships, where I gave up my self-respect and my sense of self-worth for the sake of “love.” I kept my thoughts to myself and stifled them inside for the sake of “love.” I allowed myself to be belittled and demeaned.  But what’s wrong with that?  I wanted to love to work…”

A partner will not fill the void…well, maybe temporarily, but if that’s what you’re seeking from your partner, they will never live up to your expectation.

Seeking love from outside sources will ultimately distance us further from ourselves and from dealing with our real needs.  We deserve to be loved because:

  • We are awesome
  • Our voice matters
  • We are worth respect
  • We are worth having something healthy  

We are more than a relationship.  We have things to contribute to the world.  We are modern women, capable of so much more and we have purpose.  So many women get caught up in relationships thinking, “This is it, this will fill this void.”   But sweet sister, these voids can only be filled by God and He will teach you how to love yourself and respect yourself!

“In the midst of my dysfunctional relationships, I developed anxiety issues.  My low sense of self-worth metamorphosed into obsessive-compulsive order/addiction.”

“I called psychics, thinking this would help me maintain control.”

“I wanted to prevent myself from having to experience my emptiness, my rejection, my uncertainty, and my self-loathing.   I just did not love myself to think I was worth any better. Over about nine years, it spiraled out of control until I could no longer continue stifling my emotions.  Jesus saved me, completely, and totally…and took away the shame.”

ADDICTION is a funny thing.  It’s super common. It can manifest in many forms…drugs, alcohol, gambling, workaholism, shopping, Internet, plastic surgery, sex…you name it….

SOME ADDICTIONS IN THE US:

-23.5 million ….drug & alcohol

-6.5 million…. gambling

-30 million …..compulsive shopping

-10% of US population….workaholism

The root of all addiction is a deep feeling of emptiness caused by suppression of feelings, both unresolved and stifled.

Addiction provides a TEMPORARY relief…a way of attempting to regulate your emotions without properly dealing with the issue or burden at hand…

Numbing or distracting yourself by compulsively doing something to avoid dealing, can be the RESULT of or CAUSE of any one of the following, if not all of them: disconnection, anxiety, low self-esteem, and intimacy problems

We neglect to learn how really special we are without someone.  I never got it.  Now I am learning confidence, self-esteem and self-worth.   Reflecting back, I can see that I somehow thought only another person could fix me, fix the emptiness… And the truth is they never do.

JUST ANOTHER REASON WE NEED GOD! To break the outer man and HEAL and REVEAL the true inner man. He wants to do work INSIDE of you!

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