For the past week I had been struggling with my thoughts. There were things going through my mind that I knew could not have possibly come from God. Yet I was powerless to stop them. It got so bad that I had to distance myself inexplicably from individuals to avoid possible confrontations.
The first day it felt as if I had lost total control of my mind.
By day two, I literally had to shake my head to deal with some of these thoughts.
It was so bad, I could not even pray properly. I would start and then my thoughts would drift off and I’d realise that I was repeating myself. I was totally unfocused during my daily Bible reading. I had never experienced more mental torture or anguish that I had in the past week. I thought that I was going insane.
By day three, I literally could not focus. I was going through the motions.
I could not pray without my mind wandering.
I could not read the Bible without my mind wandering.
I realised that I needed help. I confided in someone by sharing what was happening to me.
She immediately said “you’re under spiritual attack”. I was confused and terrified! She then reminded me that this coincided with the start of a period of evangelism in my life.
She said “the devil is attacking you because he wants to throw off what God has called you to do. He doesn’t want the gospel of salvation to go out and what better way than to mess with your head.”
I was floored. She was right. It was time to fight back! And oh what a fight it was! I had to surround myself with nothing but Christ – related material – music, radio, songs, devotionals – anything that would keep my mind on God.
I was constantly praying – short prayers – prayers of worship, adoration, thanksgiving.
I read passages in short spans and wrote down the text or any verse that jumped out at me. And I read it when I had the chance.
I asked others to keep me in their prayers. I couldn’t do it on my own.
In short, I had to claw my way through to get to God and to keep my focus on God. It wasn’t easy. I slipped up a many times but praise God I made it through.
I hope this testimony helps someone who may be struggling. Keep your mind on God! Isaiah 26:3 says
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”
Remember a mind focused on God leaves no place for the devil.