Let me just say, relationships are hard these days whether you’re Christian or not. But one would think that being a Christian would eliminate most of the problems we normally face in relationships right? …and that couldn’t be further from the truth!
Here are the Top 5 Reasons Christian Relationships Fail:
Because you met them in church, they’re a ministry leader, or a man/ woman who loves the Lord, you expect for them to be perfect which is an unrealistic expectation.
The key to any successful relationship is having realistic expectations and boundaries. Communicate your expectations and boundaries to each other. Understand that even Christians make mistakes. We are not perfect. Make sure you’re not building a pedestal no one can reach.
Think of your emotions as a wound, and that your emotions need time to heal just as much as an actual cut would. It goes without saying that baggage will always affect your relationship at some point.
Unless you learn to deal with it in a healthy way, it will manifest itself in your relationship in one way or another. Don’t expect your next relationship to heal you. Take time to heal. You owe it to yourself, yourself future spouse, and God!
“Why are you single?” “You still haven’t found a man yet?” “So you’re just content with being alone for the rest of your life?” Our loved ones may mean well, but it’s comments/ questions like these that can leave single folks feeling less than. It can be hard being the only single chick in your circle, I get it!
But don’t rush into a relationship looking for validation. Wait on God! Be patient.
A lot of people get into relationships thinking they can change or save someone. We set out to try to make this person “see the light”, make this person who we want them to be instead of accepting them for who they really are. We try to make them desire Christ as much as we do. Which is good in theory but not in reality.
If you meet someone, you’re attracted to them, but the two of you are not equally yoked, there are ways that you can minister to that person without being romantically involved with that person. Let them evolve into the Christian God need to be before you become emotionally vested in a relationship that was built on a shaky foundation to begin with . Until then, guard your heart.
Settling/ Avoiding red flags
Sometimes we stay in a bad relationship way too long and we allow ourselves to endure heartache that very well could have been avoided had we had paid attention to the red flags. Red flags are God’s warning signs for what’s to come. Many of us ignore these warnings and then suffer later. If God is showing you who this person is, take heed. If something is unsettling about this person, pay attention .
Pray for discernment, but you must also be willing to accept God’s answer even if it’s not the one you’re hoping for.