When “Love” Leads Us Right Into The Devil’s Trap


He was tall, handsome, and British. He had charm, intelligence, and a way of drawing me to him. Each new detail about him matched my image of the perfect man, especially because he was a Christian. 

I was mesmerized that he would want to be with a small town girl from Georgia, and it wasn’t long before we were inseparable. 

Two weeks into knowing each other, the passion was too overwhelming. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other, and sleeping together fully clothed seemed both ridiculous and impossible. 

That’s when he said it. He looked straight at me and said, “Technically, in God’s eyes, we are married. We just aren’t married in man’s eyes.” I just looked at him blankly, forgetting everything I knew as Truth. As if under a spell, I replied, “How do you figure?”

He said, “We are monogamous, aren’t we? Everyone knows we are together. Technically, we are each other’s.” I was hooked. We began having amazing sex which led to our marriage only four weeks later.

What’s so bad about that, one might ask? He ended up being a con man. He lied about being in the British military, about having a college degree (he never attended college), about having two black belts, about his salary, about the girl he was still living with in England, and so much more. He was broke and a terrible liar…a con man seeking a green card. I had been duped.

I didn’t find all of this out at once. Little things didn’t add up. I noticed lies here and there, had people tell me he was lying to them, and basically, sadly knew something wasn’t right. It was a year and a half into the marriage that I suddenly found myself in a horrible, nightmarish mess I had not planned. His daughter “outed” him to me. He was not the man I married.

What will some guys do for sex? Pretty much anything. This is one very intelligent thing to know as a Christian woman. 

Ladies, some men will slyly use the bible to get what they want. If they are charming enough, full of lust, and really convincing, you could find yourself delusionally going against God’s precepts.

Why would God not want me to have sex before marriage? The answer is very clear to me now.

I need time to get to know a potential mate. I need time to see if he is Godly, wants to love me like Christ loves the church, wants to encourage and uplift me…, or if he wants to trick me into sex.

I recently read this: “God would not send a woman a married man.” Well, God wouldn’t send me a man who would use the bible to trick me into having sex with him (which led to many other tricks). The enemy got me pretty good this time…but not for long.

In the end, I learned a very big lesson, one that has torn me apart at the seams. The lesson? Follow God’s precepts! They are created to help us navigate the rough and tricky waters of life, to keep us on straight paths, and to remind us who is and who isn’t His own. 

There were many other lessons, of course, such as recognizing the enemy’s tactics and knowing God will never leave or forsake me. Yet, I keep going back to the same thing. If I say I’m going to follow my Creator, then I have to back that up with my actions. 

Sex before marriage is a no-no for my own good. It can cloud one’s judgment with lust, in turn, presenting a much worse fate. 

Keep to the path, tattoo the Word on the heart, and pray for strength, courage, and conviction. Where we are weak, God is strong. Ask for help, and stay awake. The deceiver prowls around seeking to devour.

I hope this helps someone reading this right now.

You may be reading this and not even realize how this message will help you later on in life. But God knows.

Cheryl Hancock, Ph.D.
Latest posts by Cheryl Hancock, Ph.D. (see all)

Cheryl Hancock, Ph.D.

Cheryl Hancock, Ph.D., is a blogger, English professor, and critical thinker often challenging the ideas of those around her. As a Christ-centered woman, she seeks ways to help others better know Christ’s love.

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Guard your heart!!!! Put on the whole armor of God!!

Absolutely in agreement! I divorced my wolf in sheeps clothing and it was hell. Do not ignore red flags. Do not ignore Lords requirements for marriage. It’s to protect u from men like this. He will be a gentleman and will pursue u in fruits of the spirit. He will respect u and boundaries that u both should have for one another to protect your relationship and each other. He should be making God the center. Anything less isn’t worthy of the daughter of a King.

Keeping my spiritual eye open

Lisa L Hill

Thank you so much for this. It happened to me. I fell head over heals in love with this man and he married another woman. My heart has been broken in so many pieces. I want to love God deeply like I love a man. I know He won’t break my heart.

Tough. But Lord help us to recognise him when he has entered our teritorry

That is very true

Very powerful and every single person should read this.

My God right message at the right time for me

My god this article is everything right now. I fell for the wrong man over 15 years ago.. We had stopped talking at one point but found each other again when I was 19. I had been in a terrible relationship prior so when we met I though for sure we would end up married. We were best friends as well as lovers. He told me everything I wanted to hear and he was always superman when it came to helping me and my family. After 10 years of being with him found out he was married to another woman.… Read more »

Woah! What a scumbag! I hope you told his wife.

Camille svirinas yes she found out and was totally shocked!! That’s why it’s super hard for me to trust men because I thought well he’s a Cristian and he’s loyal so he would never do that. I was wrong.

Call me cynical, but I think it’s a good idea to pay $20+ for a background check, especially if you haven’t known the person you’re dating for a long time. Even if the person is a childhood friend, that doesn’t mean they won’t trick you in some way or that they don’t have skeletons in the closet. I know someone who’s in a relationship right now who refuses to see she’s being conned & another who dated a childhood friend that turned out to be wanted for fraud & violent crimes in a couple of their neighboring states. In the… Read more »

Brandi Holland

Bethany Sena

Please help me Lord!!

wow this is powerful,ladies pull up your socks and pray for the right man from God.there are coming in the name of christian….lord help us.

So true.

Yesoooh honest!

Brianna Rathbun Dawn Denise Konieczny

cool stuff keep it up …


Chaka Tembo did I inspire this title? Lol

I think you may have!

Gilda Tariroyashe

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