Happiness is the ultimate desire for mankind. Often we turn to love, relationships, money, jobs, and other sources for this fulfillment that can only come from one source—God. Unfortunately, spiritual battles can make it hard to keep our focus on God when our thoughts are being redirected in so many different directions.
Many women struggle to find true happiness; independent of a man or our children. Many versions of the bible describe happiness as the first attribute of living a blessed life.
As a single woman, I often wonder when I’ll begin to feel happy again. That was until I heard the lyrics to Kirk Franklin’s song, “Wanna be happy?” and I found my self responding… “Yes, I want to be happy”.
I was hit smack in the face with the truth that I’m not truly happy. As women we have to be honest enough to speak the truth of how we’re feeling, so that we may begin the process to healing.
In that moment I accepted the fact of my unhappy state. I was immediately able to identify the area of my life, in which was causing the most impact on my current feelings—my relationship with a man from my past.
This guy appeared to be everything I desired in a man: Handsome, loving, kind, hilarious, generous…an all around good guy. But our rollercoaster relationship paid it’s toll on my spiritual state. Falling often to fornication and the other lusts of my flesh, instead of resisting temptation. Lust, disguised as love, caused a wedge between my happiness and my reality.
Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18)
Paul defines sins of the flesh as sins committed against ones own body. In other words, we walk openly into these sins and inflict pain on ourselves.
For example, imagine accidentally stomping your toe on the end of your bedpost. OUCH! But the next time, you consciously walk into your bedroom and repeatedly jam your toe on the end of your bedpost over and over and over again. Crying, screaming from the pain, yet not stopping. That scenario sounds crazy, right? Who would want to continually cause pain to their own body?
The song goes on to say that in order to find happiness, one must stop returning to the situations that God brought us out of and place our trust totally in God for this desired feeling or state of mind.
I openly admit that I do not have everything together. There are still daily temptations that seek to distract me from God’s purpose and plan, but I’ve made the decision to not return to the source of my hurt and dissatisfaction.
I am encouraged that with the help of God, I can be happy again.
You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. (1 John 4:4)
My strategy for overcoming this spiritual battle includes:
Asking God for forgiveness and turning from sins of the flesh.
Daily prayer and devotional time –
Praying for deliverance and strength to withstand this temptation. In addition, reading scriptures that remind me of the power of God can empower me to override the desires of my flesh.
Cutting ties –
Consciously deciding to avoid activities or functions that would put me in a situation that’s open to falling to temptation.
Begin again –
with this renewed mind and the lessons that this failed relationship taught me, when the time is right, I’ll be equipped to start a new relationship which honors God and denies my flesh.
Help others –
Reach out to other women who are in similar situations to guide them to spiritual freedom from sexual immorality.
Now would be the perfect time for me to ask you to ask yourself one small question… Are you truly happy?