3 Things To Do If You Want Closure



I remember being in the bookstore a few years ago as I was looking for another book on how to breakthrough my singleness journey of dead end relationship after dead end relationship.

It was at that moment when I saw a book with this title “If You Want Closure, Start With Your Legs” that title cut me like the Word, it felt sharper than a two-edge sword.

I had been dating this guy from my college.  He was different from the guys I had dated in the past (or so I thought).

Although the packaging was different, the elements of the relationship remain the same. 

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when I saw douche under his bathroom cabinet and he said it belonged to his sisters.

Then he told me to stop asking about it because even if he cheated I would stay.  I knew at that point, this had gone too far and he had absolutely no respect for me.

It was at this point that I realized that I did not have any respect for myself neither  I had no idea how, but I knew something had to give.

There were 3 critical things that freed me from these types of relationships

1.)    I Prayed. 

Psalms 103:12 says “As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. 

I not only prayed and asked God to separate my transgressions of sleeping with a man that was not my husband, I also asked him to remove the man who participated in it with me as well as the lustful desire that led me there in the first place.   

See in my “relationship”, “my boyfriend” would call me periodically out of the blue. I was lucky if I heard from him more than once or twice a week… So God gave me the strength to stop calling him. I just realized I deserved so much better than what he was giving me.

So I say to you my sister, pray and ask God to heal your broken-heart.

2.)     I Kept My Legs Closed. 

This required me to stop seeing him all together.

Soul ties formed from sex outside of marriage makes it that much harder to walk away. This is exactly why the Bible is clear that sex is for husband & wife, not boyfriend & girlfriend.

This is also why it is so common for a person to still have ‘feelings’ towards an ex-lover; even long after the relationship has ended and even when they know it’s wrong. All because of a soul tie!

In my case, I knew as long as I kept engaging in a sexual relationship with him, that I would never be able to walk away.  I had to let go sexually before I could let go emotionally.

Again I say, if you want closure, start with your legs.  Once you close your legs, renew your mind and your heart will follow.

3.)    I Sought Out Godly Relationships. 

The truth of the matter is that all along all I wanted was love, but I found lust that began to tear at the fabric of the woman I wanted to become. 

I wanted companionship, healthy communication, true love, fun and God in my relationship, but my actions lead me to the opposite.

Too often as women we seek out a man when we should be seeking out our heavenly Father. 

When breaking off a relationship where you have had a very close relationship, you are going to need emotional support.  You are going to need an outlet in a safe space where you can cry, laugh and live. 

Let yourself cry about it then move on.  When you get the urge to cry, go to the thorn of grace and mercy and ask God to take the desire to be in unhealthy relationships away and remove them from your heart and mind. 

Saturate yourself with the things of God. Stay intimately connected to your Heavenly Father and your friends.

If you want closure, pray about it, but also take the necessary steps to move towards it.

Jill Bullock

Author Jill Bulluck, Life & Relationship Transformation Catalyst, Founder of Detour Movement Learn More at Detourmovement.com and checkout our blog at jillandtrealblog.com

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Always trust God… I tell myself this everyday. I choose God’s plans and not my own. Release it to God and wait! He knows what’s best for us. Praising HIM through my storms…in Jesus name Amen !!

Yes dear.

Esmerelda Ramklass

Grace just by being obedient to God and putting him first, he will bless you. Watch and see you will have an awesome testimony if you don’t faint. Keep pressing into God! Be blessed.

When all I can say is, “but God”. I was in a relationship for a year, where we were fornicating and all the more I was growing in my spiritual gifts in church, basically being a hypocrite, yet God stayed. He sent an accountability partner my way who went through the same thing as I and today we fasted to be released from soul ties and just consecrate myself to God. Long story short, like 30 minutes ago I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly and he had all the qualities I want in a husband (except… Read more »

Prayers for you!

?? praying for you!

Praying for you

Will keep you in prayer

Your story was so inspiring you choice God more than anything else. God will bless you more. He has a great plan for you.

God is going to bless you so much for putting him first! Thank you for sharing this with us <3

Prayers, God will see you through.

Stay the course, God sees the bigger picture.

Praying for you….

Thank you for sharing, God will show himself to you. His word says trust in the Lord with all your heart and in your ways acknowledge Him, he will direct your part. Remain blessed.

Stay still Our God knows everything keep trusting.He has alot of goodness for u in His store of love at aperfect time He will shower u with all yr heart desires

My dear making decisions to people we love sometimes it’s very hard. But leave each and everything to almight God he has good plans for you.

Bless you x trust God x

You are very brave to take that step of faith. It is not easy. Stay strong. God will give you the desires of your heart, when you least expect it and you will be so happy! God bless you

Hey Grace.:) he is with you.:)don’t you worry at all

Been married for 27 years and unequally yoked for over 6 years. Need listen to God, for He knows, what is best for me. Could mean closing the door. Husband has gone done the wrong path and stepped outside the marriage.

Yes.And the struggle @ times is a long journey depending on ur heart.But, God brings us through those Dark Valleys, thou.

Amen/ Glory be to My Father in Heaven.

I tout I was in this alone but I never knew you have also been there before. Thank you for this encouragement. God bless you. GRACE HAS FOUND US. #PRAISEGOD

Amen, I needed this ,I pray to God to remove the urge of wanting to go back to that unhealthy and ungodly relationship

I needed to read this exactly at this moment. Thank you so much.

God’s store is still full, let us wait upon him. He has good plans for us and his timing is always the best.

Just turn it off like a faucet…..cut off all communication and move on.

letting go is hard.im a child of God who loves and fear God.please pray for me in Jesus name

Sometimes it feels that God is against us in times like this, but he has a better plan for us

Kira Williams, read some of the comments, this is confirmation that all you have to do is TRUST GOD

O Lord please see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Amen,very true & letting go allows your heart & mind, thoughts to be free

God has it all in control please believe that if nothing else

Its the reflection of myself of what was before! finally the Lord breaks the chain because I surrender to his will;if not maybe I’m still stuck in a toxic guy. God may take away what we want but it is necessary for us to be broken rather that comfort us with lies and suffer from emotional and psychological stress.

Surrender your need to God

Love it! Blunt and to-the-point!

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