Compatibility is much more than just getting along with your mate. It’s knowing that your mate has compatible views and opinions on some of the most important issues in your life. Most couples who are not compatible have relationship problems that lead to a break up.
To make your intentions clear and his as well, it’s never too early to strike up these conversations. You can start these questions the first day you meet.
Don’t worry… if a man has good intentions, these questions won’t scare him off.
What are your spiritual beliefs?
Does he have a relationship with God? How often do you go to church, pray, read your Bible? Make sure your mate shares the same values, morals, and beliefs as you. Hopefully, this is someone you can see yourself marrying. You want someone who will encourage and instill the same values in your children.
What are you looking for in dating?
This question will establish whether he is just out to have a good time with no intention of anything serious. This is definitely a question you want to ask the first day you meet. No need in wasting time or falling in love with someone who is emotionally unavailable.
Are you willing to be celibate until marriage?
This is a very important one. Don’t assume because he goes to church, has a relationship with God, and is a “God fearing man” that it’s understood that he will wait for you. This should be made clear in the beginning.
Do you want to have kids?
Too many women rationalize or downplay a big issue during the puppy love phase of a new relationship. While everything is still rosy, women might ignore the elephant in the room and end up wasting their precious time, or they pay later by being with a man who doesn’t fulfill their needs. If having children is your heart’s desire, this is something you should discuss early on in the relationship.
Do you have any children?
If so, what is your relationship with them like? Are you in their lives full time?
I know they say, you can’t help who you fall in love with, truth is… you can. Falling in love with a man who refuses to be a father to his kid(s) is a choice. A choice that you will have to live with for the rest of your life.
The point is to get singles who desire to be married to think carefully about what’s important to them and then to have open communication about these issues while dating. There are plenty of married and divorced people who wish they had asked the tough questions before saying “I do.”
… And this isn’t just from a woman’s perspective. Men need to be careful too. Asking questions doesn’t sound so weird or embarrassing when your health, sanity, and livelihood are at stake.