Mandy Hale is on a mission to empower women everywhere to never settle for less than God’s best. Known as “The Single Woman” and a Twitter powerhouse, Mandy has made a platform for herself by inspiring single women everywhere to practice joyful living regardless of their relationship status.
Recently, Today’s Christian Woman caught up with Mandy to hear her thoughts on singleness. Peep the interview below:
Why do you think some women feel that being single is synonymous with being lonely?
I’ve had moments where I start to look around and wonder why it feels like I am on the outside looking in—everyone else is out with couples and doing amazing things with their friends. I’ve found that those seasons of loneliness have happened because God is trying to speak into my heart. If we aren’t willing to drown out the noise by ourselves, then he comes in and removes the distractions. The loneliest times are when God speaks the loudest. There has never been a lonely season of my life that I haven’t had a great breakthrough with God. As a single woman there will most likely be lonely moments, but it doesn’t mean that a lonely moment is an alone moment or an empty moment. It’s an opportunity to draw closer to God and really listen to his voice in a unique way without being distracted.
Why do you think some women struggle with feeling like their lives won’t start until they have a ring on their finger?
I think it’s an epidemic with women that they feel they aren’t whole or worthy without a relationship. I think our culture is somewhat to blame. The influence of culture causes women to feel there is something wrong with them if they are single at a certain age—late twenties, thirties, and beyond. We need to get aligned with who God says we are. If you don’t grasp your worth and the fact that you have a great purpose regardless your relationship status, you will never fully feel complete.
In my own journey I’m figuring out that my single time is an uninhibited time to spend with God. It’s a great opportunity to chase him and figure out his will for my life. When two people come together in a relationship, they can make each other’s future greater, but individually we still have a purpose for our lives that has nothing to do with a man.
“When two people come together in a relationship, they can make each other’s future greater, but individually we still have a purpose for our lives that has nothing to do with a man.”
An ex-boyfriend of yours cheated on you; how are women able to get back on their feet after something like that?
I wasn’t seeking a godly relationship when I was with my ex-boyfriend. If a guy has cheated on you, I would encourage you to ask yourself, Is this a relationship I chose out of my own desires rather than waiting on God to lead me to this relationship? If you come to the realization that it’s not a God-centered relationship, walk away. If you feel you are in a God-centered relationship but your boyfriend did something to hurt you, then it has to be a personal decision. Does he feel true remorse, or is he stubbornly unapologetic and won’t take responsibility for his own actions? We all make mistakes. I do not condone cheating, but we all mess up in relationships. You need to make the decision whether or not the relationship is too unhealthy and damaged. If it is, then you need to walk away. If you are seeking God first with your relationship, he is going to take care of it regardless of which way it goes.
“If you are waiting on a man to come and rescue you from your life, then you’re going to have a long and unhappy life.”
In your book, you mentioned you “settled for rocks when God wanted to give you diamonds.” How can women not settle for someone less than God’s best?
It’s about knowing your worth. It’s so easy to get frustrated and think that you may be single forever. I think it can be tempting to settle out of fear. When you settle for less and then God’s best does come along, you won’t be open to it because you already settled for something else. Don’t make decisions based on fear, especially when it comes to someone who you might spend the rest of your life with. I’m 35, single, and I’ve never been engaged or married. I would rather be single at this point of my life rather than settle for someone who is just okay. We have to build patience, trust, and surrender to God so that we can understand that he has a plan much better than our own. God gives us free will and will let us settle if that’s what we are determined to do. If we chose to settle, we’ll never know how great we could have had it. It’s sad to me that we sometimes settle for less and choose to live a mundane and mediocre existence. God didn’t call us to be mediocre in any area of our lives.
“At the beginning of any new relationship, whether it’s a dating relationship, business relationship, or a friendship, I pray a prayer asking God to help me with three things: to reveal anything about this person that I am not seeing, to guard my heart, and to remove this person quickly if they are not meant to be in my life. When I say that prayer I know that God has my back and I don’t have to worry about how the relationship is going to turn out. When you first meet someone new, pray a prayer like that so you can enter into a relationship or friendship in a healthy way.”
To read the full interview, Click here.