I was lugging my medium-sized purse, filled with panty liners and lip gloss. Over the other shoulder, hanged my work-bag, overstuffed with my laptop and papers still in need of grading.
Both of my hands were carrying a crate, that also encompassed my lunch-bag, now empty bowls from lunch, along with my water bottles and coffee mug from the day.
With all these things weighing me down, I motioned for my colleague to hold the elevator for me. I was struggling because I was just carrying too much. I was going home to unload.
“Wow,you’re carrying a lot of stuff!” she exclaimed. “Yes, even when I’m intentional in not, I carry way too much stuff,” I replied with a deep sigh.
Then God convicted me then and there, because this has been something that He has been working on, in me but lately I seemed to have bypassed the lesson.
With the Holiday season, often comes, ample opportunities to heal once and for all, or injure wounds that were never properly rehabilitated.
As of late, my family has been going through a particularly chaotic time. It’s been a season of discord, miscommunication, and frankly, lack of love.
We have seemed to de-prioritize loving one another at all, let alone loving one another well. There have been many instances of malicious words shared and rumours spread and it has been unsettling for me. And because of the way my heart is wired, I have been trying to be the voice of reason, be prayerful, and attempt to mend the disconnect, yet often getting caught in the cross-fire by having my intentions misunderstood and abused.
In an honest and transparent conversation with a dear-friend, I came to realize that I falsely believed that my consecrated prayers for and over my family were not enough. It’s almost as though I felt that I had to pray and then do.
And though in certain instances, God does call us to follow prayer with action; other times, we must learn to stand still in the midst of our prayer, knowing that by faith, that our prayers are enough.
How do we know when to do which? When to move versus when to be still? Simply by being prayerful and waiting for God to give direction on how to proceed.
When my colleague spoke those words to me in the elevator, I knew without a shadow of a doubt, that many of the burdens I opt to carry for my family are just that- an option that I am choosing.
Many of the burdens we pick up, in our sincere quest to be more like Christ, are His alone to carry.
There are so many small decisions that I can make my job and in my family that would allow me to free myself and carry a lighter load.
If you are like me, and you are constantly carrying things that are not meant for you, I encourage you to lift up this prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for being a God that is strong enough to carry all that weighs me down.
Thank You for being a God that is willing to carry my burdens.
Lord, forgive me for every time I tried to “play God,” as opposed to trusting You to be God.
Forgive me for every time I acted as though my prayers were simply not enough.
I lift up my family and I pray that You heal the disconnect.
Lord, I pray that we learn to honor You by the way we choose to love one another.
In this season, may You grace us with the yearning to be steadfast in our prayers, and the wisdom to know when to move and when to be still.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.