I was going to scream at the very tiptop of my lungs and break at least 2 plates, if I’d heard one more person say, “When God closes a door, He’ll open another.” Although, I knew this to be true, there didn’t seem to be any doors opening for me at the time. No, not one.
Every door I tried to open was sealed tighter than any door at the Pentagon and I was starting to think, maybe these doors were closed because I didn’t have the right keys.
Maybe the right key(s) were in a different location, a different state, a different town, a different house, a different job. What if every single door was closed so I would finally get the message that none of the doors were ever going to open because they weren’t my doors to walk through?
God had already determined when, where and how my doors would be open but I wasn’t listening. I just kept making my own plans. Yeah, I knew what the Bible said (3 times to be exact in Proverbs) about making plans, but I wanted what I wanted.
“We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer.” (Proverbs 16:1) and then again…
“We can make our own plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” (Proverbs 16:9) and again,
“We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they will fall.” (Proverbs 16:33).
So there you have it. If it’s not in God’s plans, you can forget about it!
A few years ago, I moved to Florida. I went there to “visit” the love of my life and never looked back. I left New York, moved in with him and was ready to build our lives together even though I didn’t have any family or friends in Florida, I didn’t know a soul. But I didn’t care, I was in love and God was gonna work it out. We were going to get married and live happily ever after.
But umm, NO. That didn’t happen, God definitely said “No”.
Fast forward 1 ½ years later, I still didn’t have any friends (which is extremely odd for me because I’m the friend of all friends), I didn’t like my job, and my boyfriend worked all the time. Feeling alone and not having any family or friends around was hard and it was starting to wear on me. Then due to budget cuts at work, I got laid off. When that happened, I immediately thought that maybe God was answering my prayers for guidance and direction.
I had been praying for a new job and for forgiveness for living with a man before marriage and I wanted more than anything to live a life that honored God. I desperately needed to hear from Him. So when I got laid off, I thought maybe it was His way of saying that it was time for me to move because from there God started closing every single door. He was closing every door so I wouldn’t have any options. Clearly, He had other plans for me, I just didn’t know it yet.
He was saying “NO, you can no longer live with this man and not be married to him.”
“NO, I am not going to bless you with another job in Florida because this is not my plan for you right now.”
“I am closing all these doors so you will be forced to make another choice. NO!”
Finally, I said ok God, I hear you loud and clear.
Leaving Florida and the man that I am still in love with was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I trusted that if it’s God’s will for us to be together, He will work it all out.
Now I am certain that God will close every single door to get our attention and force us to listen to Him. When we refuse to make the right choices on our own, He will make them for us. He will make our lives so uncomfortable that we will run with Batman speed away from anyplace, person, or thing that can block the flow of His blessings.
God still hasn’t revealed all the plans He has for me but doors are now starting to open. And although my heart is broken and I sometimes cry myself to sleep at night, my conscious is clean and I’m looking forward to living in His will. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has my back and loves me more than anything even when He says NO.