Conflict, disagreement and anger have the potential to wreak havoc on a relationship. When tempers flare, words are sometimes spoken that you later regret. To avoid saying things you don’t really mean, partners must learn how to disagree more effectively. Recognizing there will be ideas and behaviors in which couples won’t see eye to eye is step one. Next, is knowing it’s actually okay to disagree. It won’t end your relationship. However, the way you handle the conflict could.
A common misconception in relationship disagreements is that the other partner just needs to hear they’re right. This isn’t usually the case. We don’t always have to say “you’re right, I’m wrong” to our partners just to end the conflict. Even when we think that’s the appropriate thing to do, it still won’t necessarily generate the results we desire. There are, however, certain phrases you can use to immediately bring some calm to relationship drama.
Nothing shuts down foolishness faster than God. Asking to pray with your partner, even if they decline, will bring about a shift in the energy and thinking. Prayer is the perfect reminder that we must rely on the strength of our higher power. Just thinking about God will calm our spirit, quiet our minds and remind us to love.
“I see you and I hear you”
We all need validation. Who doesn’t want to be loved, respected and yes, heard? It’s so easy to get caught up in our own desires and forget there’s another person in the relationship. When you remove yourself from the equation and acknowledge the needs of your partner, you will definitely begin to experience a relationship transformation.
“What can I do to make this right?”
We don’t mean to make mistakes, sometimes they just happen. The key is to not only be apologetic, but also seek ways to resolve the situation. Asking this question confirms you are willing to do whatever is necessary to heal your partnership and support your mate.
The secret to this phrase is you have to actually mean it. Your partner knows you and will be able to easily spot an insincere apology. Be sorry for what happened, how your partner feels and the impact it has on the relationship.
“I forgive you”
True forgiveness means you’ve acknowledged what happened, accepted it and are now ready to move forward. You haven’t done so if every time there is a disagreement you use the past mistake as a secret weapon. We have to release it and move on.