Is It Love or Lust?


Does he love you or is he lusting after you? Does he really want to know you: your thoughts, your dreams, and your fears? Or is it all for the physical?

If he’s showing obvious signs that he only wants the cookie, the fruit, the flower or whatever reference you have for your nature below, then maybe it’s time to – LET HIM GO!

Is he really worth you wasting your time or more importantly; your faith? I think not. No one is worth losing your faith in God – yes I said it, no one.

Now I know this is easier said than done especially if you have already developed strong feelings for him – possibly even love, but as hard as it may be now to walk away if you have to, it may be even harder later when even more feelings are developed on your end and or if his pressure towards you to give in to sex increases.

If he is only in the relationship to get in your pants one of two things is guaranteed to happen in my opinion: (a) he will throw in the towel early and move on to the next woman or (b) he is going to stay around as long as possible to break you – you will become his challenge, his conquest. And is this really what you want?

For him to tell you all the right things to get you weak, vulnerable and right where he wants you only to win the prize and walk away leaving you broken hearted and guilty for giving in.

Maybe that isn’t your situation, perhaps your man does love you, but he doesn’t share your Christian faith and values, having sex out of wedlock is one compromise – what about the others ahead while you both are unevenly yoked?

Your faith in God should be a lifestyle and if your man doesn’t share that cutting ties now may be easier than having to do it later.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked,does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

If you find or have a man that desires to know you beyond the physical and can honestly respect your decision to honor your desire to abstain from sex until marriage then maybe this guy is worth holding on to for the walk down the aisle. He can possibly be the one that loves you .

If God can give women the desire to uphold His word about abstaining from sex until marriage then He has also given it to men. Not all men are running around trying to have sex any chance they get, men can honor God too.

And to find a man after God’s heart is a great thing! This type of man will honor you because he honors God.

So don’t lose hope if you haven’t found this man yet, surrender your list of what you desire of a husband and allow God to intervene as you obediently prepare yourself for your mate.

Because to be honest, finding a husband is one step – keeping him and having a successful marriage is a WHOLE different ball game which you need to be prepared for.

So while you are dating – date with a purpose.

Khara Campbell

Written by Khara Campbell


Khara blogs about faith, parenting, marriage, fashion, novels and her Bahamian heritage. She is the author of novels 'Not My Will', ‘Purple Tears’ & ‘Bahama Love’. She has also written and self-published a children's book titled 'Island Girl'.

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