I found myself questioning everyone and everything around me. I felt like I was just thrown in the pit like Joseph. What do I do now? I felt betrayed by friends and setup by co workers.
Sometimes we lose focus and then worry creeps in. We become fearful of what lies ahead. The plan we had for our life. You know, the plan where you had your career, husband and future all mapped out. Next thing you know. Bam!!! It didn’t happen. Now our thoughts become whittled with doubt. We begin questioning our purpose in life. We examine the choices we’ve made in our relationships and careers. Then we find ourselves on this downward spiral. What did I do to deserve this?
During all this confusion, we forget how blessed we truly are and whose we are. Things could be a thousand times worse. We are blessed to have incredibly encouraging, uplifting and Godly friends. Friends who don’t try and solve our issues but point us directly to God. The REAL friends. Some more than others (Lol!!) But I LOVE them. We are blessed that our God will never leave or forsake us.
Last night, I complained about not hearing from God. I felt stagnant in my life. I’m not a complainer so when I feel that I am complaining, it tears me apart. I’m a Clinician (Master level) and a business woman, I’m solution focused. Why can’t I figure this out? This caused me a great deal of confusion, anger and frustration because I know that titles don’t mean anything to God. When He’s ready to transition us He’s going to move us no matter what our current situation maybe.
I finally waved the flag and got on my knees. God and I had a long talk. During our discussion He lead me to Psalm 34:4 and Psalm 34:17-19.
I sought the Lord and he heard me and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4) KJV
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; (Psalm 34:17-29) NIV
I’m slowly realizing that we will have moments where worry and fear will seep in. During those moments we need to focus all our attention on God and not the problem.
Open your heart, release everything that’s unclean and hidden to Him. He knows us inside and out. He’s just waiting for us to be REAL with Him. I’m sorry, I know that one stung a little but it’s the truth.
What I also learned from all this is that God is preparing something big for you and I. I’m dealing with a lot: the end of a relationship, no job and being a caregiver for my mother. I finally had to quit fighting and surrender myself to God. As I write this article, I have to keep telling myself that “it’s not about me”. It’s ALL about Him and what He has planned for my life.
In closing, this reminds me of something I told my mother in August of 2014 when she first started having health, financial problems and other issues. I said “Mom, I can’t wait to see how God delivers you from this storm”. In May of 2015, God brought her through her storm. She was showered with greatness even though she has some health concerns but she’s here and financially stable. I can’t wait to see what He has waiting for me.
I have no doubt that God will get me through it all.