Testimonies

Breakups and Heartache: There’s Always a Purpose in the Pain

Breakups and Heartache

Breakups and Heartache

I remember so clearly, a time when my heart was broken.  And boy do I mean broken! It was an awful time in my life. 

In my mind there was no way on God’s green earth that this man who’d professed his love for me over and over again for nearly a year and a half was suddenly walking out on me.  He had come on so strong and determined to acquire my love. 

From the very beginning he’d made it perfectly clear to everyone that knew us that I was going to be his wife.

But sadly in the late evening hours one October night, it was all over. It didn’t make any sense. Nothing added up whatsoever. Then to add insult to injury, he’d left me without an explanation. 

His decision to leave hit me like the shocking pain of an exposed nerve when a root canal is needed.  I cried for days and weeks on end. My conversations and writings were filled with him and how much I needed him. 

I asked myself over and over again, how could this be?  Didn’t I finally do it right? We never had sex. We were saving that for marriage. We planned to do things God’s way.  We went to church together every Sunday.  We prayed together.  We looked, walked and talked the part. 

So what did I miss? At the time I didn’t get it.  I couldn’t understand how something so seemingly perfect just fell apart like that.

A short time after the split, the Holy Spirit spoke to me one afternoon while I was sitting at work.  I heard Him tell me the reasons why He allowed the breaking of my relationship.  While the words were shocking, I accepted them and meditated on them for a long time afterwards. 

That day the Lord had revealed to me that I had placed that man of mine so high in my heart that I’d begun to idolize him. 

Without even realizing it, I had given him the throne of my heart. He lived there in my thoughts, emotions, and actions. That man was reigning over me and all along I didn’t have a clue. I had to learn the hard way.

We all know that if we put anything before God, we will lose it.  So, I lost the love of my life (or at the time whom I’d foolishly given the title to). Yet, in the middle of it all I gained a brand new perspective and uncovered my purpose in Christ Jesus.

Going through that life-changing experience made me feel as if I were so far from the person that I’d known myself to be. 

Through the remnants of a broken heart, I had started on a journey that would take me into another realm of life. This journey would bring me closer to God and into a season of blossoming. 

It was as if I had fallen from the top of a mountain into a deep valley, and I had to fight my way back to the top.

While I emerged from the heartache bearing the scar from the battle that I’d endured, I became stronger and wiser. 

I learned humility and the art of forgiveness.  Furthermore, I learned God’s Divine Order. 

I am eternally thankful that the Good Lord bestowed His mercy over me and allowed me to learn a lesson that took the children of Israel 40 years of wandering to acquire. 

Arrione Jones

Arrione Jones

Arrione is the author of “Voices in the Morning, Whispers of the Night”- a collection of heartfelt poems that depict the turmoil and triumphs of daily living through the eyes of a young woman.
Arrione Jones
125 Comments

125 Comments

  1. Noreen Lavaro

    April 18, 2017 at 8:11 pm

    Jean Alayon

  2. Nonoii M. Ocite

    April 13, 2017 at 2:41 am

    Lexie Lex

  3. Grateful Mum

    April 12, 2017 at 11:28 am

    Paul Pangan

  4. Milene Mylene

    April 12, 2017 at 2:06 am

    Sis Chelsea Ritz ♥♥♥

  5. Natasha Renee Boone

    April 11, 2017 at 11:51 pm

    Dont i know smh

  6. Susan Celestine

    April 11, 2017 at 11:45 pm

    Yip….this is so true. This article provides reassurance that your plan may not always be answered with a yes but God’s plan is always best. It may seem easy but we just need to trust.

  7. Shelly JesusLoveisforever Drayton

    April 11, 2017 at 9:39 pm

    Right.

  8. Cathy Ume

    April 11, 2017 at 9:36 pm

    Amen. Amen. Thank you Jesus Christ for love and mercy.

  9. Katrice Williams

    April 11, 2017 at 8:00 pm

    Going thru this right now after 20 yrs it’s hard because we have 2 kids together and he is living a double life. I have faith god will guide me in the right direction. This is so hard for me right now knowing it’s someone else and I have asked him to walk away and he will not leave. Faith and prayer is all I have right now

  10. Tsheli Cathy Ramashamole

    April 11, 2017 at 7:18 pm

    Rheba Daqueenizy Makoae .

  11. Myeshia Thorns

    April 11, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

  12. Marie Gaie Nolledo

    April 11, 2017 at 4:54 pm

    Lei Bince

  13. Diann Bond

    April 11, 2017 at 4:01 pm

    Dani Early

  14. Yesutor Abla

    April 11, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    Hmmmmm

  15. Marita G. Duran

    April 11, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    Amen

  16. Atajah Morris

    April 11, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    Shamarley Ricketts click and read all

  17. Jasmine Sumagui Bedruz

    April 11, 2017 at 3:02 pm

    David David

  18. Sharon George

    April 11, 2017 at 3:02 pm

    .

  19. Bongi Ngema

    April 11, 2017 at 2:47 pm

    God is the center of it all,his the only one who can heal human beings and leave them without a scar

  20. Jeramie Santiago Sangalang

    April 11, 2017 at 2:04 pm

    Rea Dicioco fren read this

  21. Lorri Ryan

    April 11, 2017 at 1:44 pm

    Joanna Mattaliano

  22. Vuyo Mofokeng

    April 11, 2017 at 1:23 pm

    Lord u have spoken , I ask for direction as am abt t embark dis journey, dis article is also directed t me.

  23. Marie Beltran

    April 11, 2017 at 1:10 pm

    Tacara LaStacia wow

  24. Lola Alverson

    April 11, 2017 at 12:34 pm

    So true!

  25. Jane Kim Yong

    April 11, 2017 at 12:28 pm

    Cas Cas

  26. Limor Gilboa

    April 11, 2017 at 12:05 pm

    Amen.

  27. Υβέτ Ασεβέδο

    April 11, 2017 at 11:19 am

    So true. Just have to keep reminding ourselves God has a better grasp of what and who we need than we do.

  28. Michelle Jongsuksathaporn

    April 11, 2017 at 11:01 am

    Khammy Lee Jib Wipawan Kradattong Nannan Issaraporn

  29. Gift Khuduga

    April 11, 2017 at 9:41 am

    EYES OPEN NOW I UNDERSTAND

  30. Tanya Abdulla

    April 11, 2017 at 9:22 am

    Yes that happened to me as well

  31. Irene Mathias

    April 11, 2017 at 6:52 am

    Thanks for sharing, I learned something here.

  32. Laura Randolph

    April 11, 2017 at 6:19 am

    i broke up 2 engagements not had any luck sense then.

  33. Mhiz Laura

    April 11, 2017 at 5:49 am

    Very true that

  34. Michelle Soriano Trevino

    April 11, 2017 at 5:13 am

    Elexus Parra ❤️

  35. Sana Roger

    April 11, 2017 at 4:55 am

    When things started to go haywire just b4 my wedding (that never happened) i was so perplexed by the change in my ex-fiance and his family. I was in so much anguish that I was even unable to pray so would call on the Holy Spirit and my heart would automatically be drawn towards praying for a break up instead of improvements for the wedding. We called it off. In relatiation, the entire family slandered me. I’m still very hurt bcoz my love was sincere but it’s better than being stuck with a psychopath husband and controlling in-laws that would have led to divorce. Praise God

  36. Cheryl Meyer

    April 11, 2017 at 4:41 am

    Breanna Meyer Angela Labastida April Labastida

  37. Antasha Wallace

    April 11, 2017 at 3:11 am

    Amen

  38. Florence Linzi

    April 11, 2017 at 3:09 am

    So true hey

  39. Devona Gutierrez

    April 11, 2017 at 3:05 am

    That’s why after seeing the mistakes I was making I purposefully stay away from men ….Genesis 2:18! GOD created marriage…meaning He has the right spouse that was predestined before the beginning of time for us if marriage is in our future. The enemy tells us to jump from person to person to try to make it work knowing full well IT IS A LIE!!!!

  40. Lisa Wallace

    April 11, 2017 at 2:55 am

    I got this same word from the Lord. God is truly amazing.

  41. Kim Gene Hurst

    April 11, 2017 at 2:43 am

    Nick Hurst

  42. Jeresia English

    April 11, 2017 at 2:37 am

    Beautiful! Thank You. A Must Share.

  43. Valerie Dearborn

    April 11, 2017 at 1:47 am

    Trina Bell, I was told by a person to lift my hands releasing that person from my life and ask God to release us from each other and ask God Bless him.
    This put me in Gods presents and relieved all the things we didnt agree on.
    After spending time praying I had release !!!

  44. Lisa Lee-Beckermann

    April 11, 2017 at 1:34 am

    I lost my husband to cancer 2014. He was the true love of my life. He was 48. I took care of him for six months until his death. The hardest thing I’ve ever done.
    After two years , I met a man just like the one in this article. He professed his love for me and promised me a future. Then he left me. What I was so scared of happening … happened again. I don’t know how to get through this. I pray all the time. I don’t know who I grieve more for, my husband who died or my boyfriend who left. How could this happen again so soon.? So much pain. I begged him in the beginning not to hurt me. He did. I don’t understand.

    • Devona Gutierrez

      April 11, 2017 at 3:07 am

      He isn’t the man GOD has for you that’s why

    • Lisa Lee-Beckermann

      April 11, 2017 at 3:08 am

      I know. Still so painful after having hope only for it to be ripped away again.

    • Valerie Dearborn

      April 11, 2017 at 3:19 am

      Lisa some men cant commit, there are couples retreats where singles are invited to help you. Wipe your feet daughter of zion and dont look back at the temporary, start looking through your scriptures and find a true friend to keep accountability. Your more special than a man who would run !!! Ask God what to do sit listen and continue to pray. God makes a way where there is no way. Enjoy the you God created you to be !!! And thats special !!!!

  45. Laura Calvillo

    April 11, 2017 at 1:29 am

    Meagan Araujo

  46. Valerie Dearborn

    April 11, 2017 at 1:28 am

    Your right. My brothers would say you better be serious with my sister.
    Its hard being the youngest sister.

  47. Terresa A. Whyte

    April 11, 2017 at 12:46 am

    Shy Smith & Nadia Al check this out!

  48. Grammar Lols

    April 11, 2017 at 12:21 am

    Grace Joan

  49. Janene Hephzibah Ryan

    April 11, 2017 at 12:09 am

    Joelle Ryan

  50. Terry Daley

    April 10, 2017 at 11:57 pm

    Amen

  51. Ellah Reu Cabaya

    April 10, 2017 at 11:35 pm

    Powerful…thank you…

  52. Kimon Wells

    April 10, 2017 at 11:30 pm

    So true…I can testify to that

  53. Aune Sarah Thomas

    April 10, 2017 at 11:11 pm

    Victoria Festus

  54. Audrey Brown

    April 10, 2017 at 11:05 pm

    On point

  55. Valerie Dearborn

    April 10, 2017 at 11:02 pm

    Now not Npw. Respect one another thats what Love does !!!

  56. Valerie Dearborn

    April 10, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    People give up to easily today. Thats what tv does. Npw do you love her or him? Really love them ???
    Trust God for the right person and be understanding. Never be upset when the other person is upset . Put yourself in their place. Love One Another.

  57. Daisy Butler

    April 10, 2017 at 10:43 pm

    It hurt so bad, BUT God…

  58. Annie Keith

    April 10, 2017 at 10:18 pm

    Tedra Anderson

  59. Sandy Arnold

    April 10, 2017 at 10:04 pm

    And that is the truth!!

  60. Martha Naweh

    April 10, 2017 at 9:54 pm

  61. Danika Brady

    April 10, 2017 at 9:46 pm

    Love this. Really spoke to me. Love the word ‘blossoming’. Praise God that is happening in my life now !

  62. Ivy McGowan

    April 10, 2017 at 8:55 pm

    Powerful article. Thank you. I am still trying to find purpose in the pain even after God revealed the truth to me about what was happening in my marriage.

  63. Shannon Hughes

    April 10, 2017 at 8:54 pm

    Thank you Jesus

  64. Regina Grateful Faust

    April 10, 2017 at 8:47 pm

    LiveLove Bundles good reading

  65. Nkibu Kganare Motloung

    April 10, 2017 at 8:35 pm

    So true

  66. Catherine Kimuli

    April 10, 2017 at 8:24 pm

    True oh so true

  67. Stellah Chepkorir

    April 10, 2017 at 8:24 pm

    Amen.

  68. Pamela Vance

    April 10, 2017 at 7:29 pm

    Hannah Rogers this is a good read!

  69. Toya Washington

    April 10, 2017 at 7:23 pm

    Charissa

  70. Regina Wanjala

    April 10, 2017 at 7:10 pm

    Muringi Nganga pass by here

  71. Gloria Davidson

    April 10, 2017 at 7:07 pm

    Always Put God First In All Of Life’s Decisions!!! Act Like A Woman! Think Like A Man. Let Go Let God, Praying Always Thanking God For His Blessings And Forgiveness. Wait Patiently On The Lord and He Will See You Through In His Own Timing In Jesus Name.

  72. Amy Airey

    April 10, 2017 at 6:57 pm

    Amen

  73. Neo Phiri

    April 10, 2017 at 6:55 pm

    ..breakups are just too painful

  74. Julissa Herrera

    April 10, 2017 at 6:52 pm

    Wow! Thank you for sharing, I can relate.

  75. Annmarie Peritore

    April 10, 2017 at 6:52 pm

    Yessssss!!!!so sad but so true.

  76. Tina Keys

    April 10, 2017 at 6:51 pm

    Amen

  77. Andrea Mimi Densley-Babin

    April 10, 2017 at 6:43 pm

    Wow!!! This is my story…

  78. Sana Roger

    April 10, 2017 at 6:41 pm

    Going thru this rn. The Lord has given and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the Lord

  79. Iwatan Racheal

    April 10, 2017 at 6:35 pm

    It’s a bitter fact actually.

  80. Sharion Mitchell

    April 10, 2017 at 6:28 pm

    Thank yes always for a woman

  81. Sne Mbuyazi

    April 10, 2017 at 6:21 pm

    Khanyi Tracie Hlungwane

  82. Mbuyi Unathi Cikizwa

    April 10, 2017 at 6:19 pm

    Thanks for sharing I needed to read this

  83. Brina Doc

    April 10, 2017 at 6:15 pm

    Amen

  84. Medo Tskr

    April 10, 2017 at 6:10 pm

    very relevant to me as well.. Your sharing is worth it. God Bless

  85. Trina Bell

    April 10, 2017 at 6:09 pm

    Praying to let go and let God it hurt rite now,but around my friends and family. And I pray for everyone that is hurting ,

  86. Bernice Qio Waqavou

    April 10, 2017 at 6:05 pm

  87. Bianca Yvonne

    April 10, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    Very true and painful.

  88. Inreal Life

    April 10, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    Amen.

  89. Aimee Rodriquez

    April 10, 2017 at 6:02 pm

    Living proof! I trust God!!! He knows his timing!

  90. Olinka Castrillo

    April 10, 2017 at 6:00 pm

    Its always painful

  91. Dawn Vunk

    April 10, 2017 at 5:58 pm

    Love Faith

  92. Rebecca Burgess

    April 10, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    Oh yes. This hits home with me.

  93. Traehteews Gillego - Yutuc

    April 10, 2017 at 5:51 pm

    Jen Jds Jnnfr DS☺

  94. Ruthie NK

    April 10, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    Going through this painful experience, this article clearly was meant me. Thanks for sharing

  95. Shaune ArmstrongRichardson-Brown

    April 10, 2017 at 5:45 pm

    Living proof

  96. Zandi Mbatha

    April 10, 2017 at 5:45 pm

    I am going through this now. Thank you God for you chastise those you love. I nearly lost the true love of my life,holding on to a little “treasure box” I thought I had found.

    • Lady-Teekay Ngobese

      April 10, 2017 at 7:52 pm

      Take heart Zandi Mbatha, God overcame the world, so shall you only if you put your trust in Him. If He did it for me, He surely will do it for you. Good luck…

  97. Lanna Sapojnikov

    April 10, 2017 at 5:45 pm

    Yeah I had same issue..

  98. Miriam Reyes

    April 10, 2017 at 5:44 pm

    Oh man, this spoke directly to me!!

  99. Frances Frans

    April 10, 2017 at 5:43 pm

    Can identify

  100. Karen Bieker

    April 10, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    Thank you for sharing. I did this previously. Almost did it again. But I’ve determined to keep God first. I have to…He has to put God first. If we don’t it won’t work. We say God is in the CENTER..not to the right..not to the left. If we don’t keep God between us, we fail. All 3 are involved. Jesus…is in our hearts. God is our center. The Holy Spirit is wrapped around us.

    • Dorothy J. Lee

      April 10, 2017 at 6:02 pm

      I can tell you that putting all your trust in the Lord and obeying and believing His Word will get you there.

    • DeEtta Todd

      April 10, 2017 at 6:18 pm

      Amen,that statement needed a amen!!!!!

  101. Kayla M. Martinez

    April 10, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    Nanette Gaddy Hyatt

  102. Cleopatra Siancheka

    April 10, 2017 at 5:25 pm

    True

  103. Ehi Ohmygoodness

    April 10, 2017 at 5:22 pm

    So true!

  104. PrincessWarrior

    July 8, 2015 at 5:30 am

    I can relate. I dated this guy who kept on telling me that he was going to marry me! I believed it trusted him and gave my heart totally to him despite that little small voice in my head telling me to take it slow. I found out at the beginning of this year that the woman he was calling his sister was actually his girlfriend and she was pregnant with his child. He married her when we were still dating telling me that he was going for his brothers wedding and i hopelessly believed. I actually paid for the wedding without my knowledge! it hurts so bad. I went through depression, almost committed suicide because i could not believe that i had been taken for a ride and i had actually fallen for it! the thoughts of suicide have ebbed but i do still cry every night over everything and anything! I feel so broken and in a pit that i am failing to get out of! he is happy with his wife and child and i am left alone and in tears nursing a broken heart wondering why the lord cannot help me out of this!

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