When there is greatness on the horizon, the devil will always send “The Counterfeit Man”. His witty methods are designed to block blessings, good juju, and a great man, but when God has something amazing for you, it will go beyond your comprehension.
I am sure you are wondering who is the counterfeit man? The counterfeit man is any man who distracts, delays, interrupts, or totally obstructs God’s plan for the single woman’s life. God’s plan for the single woman’s future is often hindered when she becomes involved with “The Counterfeit Man”
I found myself in an all wrong relationship when I turned 30. I never once considered if the ‘great man’ who found me was counterfeit or legit. He spun an impenetrable web delicately laced with dreams of an amazing life. We were all sold: my family, friends and most importantly me. I imbibed it, no questions asked. I later discovered the depth of my counterfeit’s ramshackle and debatable character and paid a hefty price for my naiveté.
Character must take precedence over charisma. I learned the hard way. Anyone can be charismatic. Mr. Charisma spots you from across the way, is ridiculously attractive, says all the right things and is magnetic.
You can’t put your finger on it, but you know you feel connected in some way. That doesn’t mean he has the character to back up all that finesse and allure. That is substantiated by time and consistency.
There are 5 characteristics I now look for in a great man when I enter a high potential dating relationship.
1. Committed –
Say yes to the man whose mind is already made up. He is the man you’ll be able to set your watch by. You can count on him to do his very best. His mind is made up, he’s all in and consulting God every single step of the way. Say no to the man who is ‘making up his mind’ about you, his life and living in general.
2. Protection –
Physical protection is important; but it is a given. Say yes to the man who will protect you with his words. He will be gentle and always address you with respect. He won’t put you down in public nor will he ridicule you behind closed doors. He will have your back even if that means he has to stand up to his friends, family or his mama. This is a man who will be encouraging and supportive. He will make you feel provided for (financially, emotionally, and mentally) and he will make ‘it’ work–all of it.
3. Reliable –
Don’t get it tangled with boring. Say yes to Mr. Reliable. He is the man who will be consistently dependable. He will have resilient character; and will also be a good judge of it. This man will walk in wisdom and use the spirit of discernment to lead and cover his family. You will count on him to make good decisions and right choices, even if you’re not around to assist. You will trust in his reaction to certain situations and overall he will be reliable in how he does life and how he studies God’s word. One thing he won’t be is boring.
4. Motivated –
This man isn’t just sitting around waiting for someone else to stir his pot. He’s already gassed up and ready to drive. He will be motivated to work, get things done and be the provider that he was called to be. It’s not about the fancy education, the latest pair of sneakers, those perfect set of pearly whites or the rippling abs that have helped him get by all this time. Ask yourself: Is he a hard worker? When the tough times come, will he be so prideful that he won’t take a menial job temporarily to make ends meet?
5. Mindful –
Say yes to the mindful man who thinks of you—always. You may not always like him, but you will always love him. You will value his mind and appreciate the way he thinks. His heart and intentions will be pure. He will consider that you’re a light sleeper. He will think about how your daughter is scared of the dark and ensure her nightlight will always shine. He will understand you live in a hurricane area and will stock extra canned goods, water and kerosene lamp. This is the man who’s got those broad shoulders to carry you and his family.
Of course there are additional traits I would like in my husband: humorous, easy-going, good-looking and so on. But when I consider my future vows, the solid foundation wins. The other desires held in my heart and his will be added to us as God promises in His word.
A great man will reveal these characteristics over time.
To the man of good character and pure heart—say yes. Choose him. Want him. Pick him. Love him. Don’t just love him because of; love him in spite of—in spite of his flaws and insecurities, his past pains and failures along with all the mistakes he will make.
He won’t be perfect, but this great man will have his priorities straight. He’ll have a heart after the Lord. He’ll love you not just the way he wants to be loved, but the way you need to be loved.
Don’t settle. Wait for him—the right ‘him’. You’ll be blown away when God sends you His best.