If you’re ready for “the one”, pay attention to these 3 areas of your relationships. It can help you avoid making the following mistakes…
Here are 3 Biggest Mistakes Christians Make When Dating:
1. Your Type:
We settle when it comes to the type we want.
We lower our standards in an attempt to make them who we want them to be instead of seeing them for who they really are.
We say we want a Godly man, but as soon as that good looking man who is not living according to God’s word comes along, suddenly a Godly man is not all that important.
We say we want someone who will respect our “No sex before marriage” rule, but as soon as that good looking man who can’t keep his hands to himself comes along, suddenly celibacy is not all that important.
Another thing to understand is that yes, every relationship will have it’s ups and downs. I understand there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship.
However, we sometimes get a little too comfortable with the downs outweighing the ups.
Dating is a precursor for marriage. So in other words, what you see… is what you get. The problems you get comfortable with dealing with in a dating relationship, will be the same problems you will deal with in your marriage. We should never marry potential, Always marry reality.
Take for example, when we buy a used car, some times they are sold “AS IS”. This means that we are agreeing to accept anything that may be wrong with it. You assume full responsibility. Some defects may be visible, some you may not be able to see right away.
The same applies in a dating relationship. We sometimes know exactly what we’re getting ourselves into. This person is showing you who they are up front, but you’re so blinded by who you want them to be.
So ask yourself “Can I see myself married to this person, “AS IS”?”
2. Your Time:
We don’t invest the time to really get to know the person.
Notice I just pointed out that “what you see… is what you get”. Sometimes this isn’t the case. The person we thought we knew turns out to be someone completely different and I don’t mean that in a good way.
In the beginning of any relationship , this is when we try to impress one another. We want to show this person how we are so different and better than anyone he/she has ever dated. Why we are worthy of being with. Why they should love us over everyone else.
However, IF we spend a little more time getting to really know a person AND praying for God’s will, eventually their true colors will show.
But you can’t pray for God to reveal these things to you and then dismiss them when He shows you they are not the one for you.
When you go to the airport, you can’t arrive at the airport 15 minutes before the plane takes off right? Why is that? Because they have to check you out.
They’re going to make sure you’re exactly who you say you are by checking your I.D. They’re going to check your baggage and even do a full body check to make sure you’re not hiding anything.
They do all of this before you get on the plane because they know that once you get on the plane, you can possibly bring the whole plane down if they don’t take the time to check you out.
Look at your relationship in the same way. You have to make sure you check them out to make sure they’re exactly who they say they are. You have to check what kind of baggage they’re bringing into your relationship.
Again… dating is a precursor for marriage so we should use this time wisely to get to know them.
If we find that they are not who they say they are, we have the option of getting out of the relationship instead of going into a marriage thinking marriage will solve our issues.
3. Your Truth:
We are not truthful with ourselves when it comes to our expectations.
Often times, when dating, we have this long list of things we want the other person to be. There’s nothing wrong with having a type or having standards as I’ve said before, but before you crucify or dismiss someone else, make sure you are the type of person you would like to attract.
Ask yourself… “Am I being the type of person I expect my mate to be?”
You want a Godly man, but are you a Godly woman?
You want someone who can bring something to the table, but what are you willing to bring to the table?
I always say, marriage is not 50/50. It’s each person giving their 100%. Never expect to receive what you are not willing to give (respect, honesty, love etc. ) and never make your happiness someone else’s responsibility.
It’s good to take the time to make sure you’re with the right person, but don’t forget to take the time out to make sure you are being the right person for them, for yourself, and most importantly, for God!