UNHAPPY-COUPLE

If God doesn’t approve of the person you’re dating, believe me He will let you know.

Sometimes we pray for answers we are not fully prepared for. Trusting God’s will means trusting that He knows what’s best for us even if it means we have to part ways with people we are not quite ready to part ways with.

Sometimes we feel it in our spirit that someone is not a good mate for us, but for some reason we allow ourselves to stay in an unfulfilling relationship.

Some of us ask God to show us a sign whether something or someone is good or bad for us. The funny part is, God may have given us plenty of signs , before we even prayed that prayer.

Whether the signs are there or not, there’s only one way to know for sure, and that’s prayer.

If you’re praying for God’s will, eventually their true colors will show. But you can’t pray for God to reveal these things to you and then disregard them when He shows you this person is not the one for you. 

One of my relationships, I REALLY wanted to work. So when we began to have our share of problems, I began to pray.

I asked God to show me whether or not this person was the one for me. If not, I prayed that He would remove him from my life. Well, it didn’t take long for God to show me at all.

A day after praying that prayer, my ex told me that he felt we should call it quits. Not quite the answer I was expecting from God. But His will is always best. Too bad I didn’t believe that at that time.

About two weeks later, my ex called me and said he realized he had made a mistake letting me go.

In spite of everything I had discussed with God, this was still music to my ears.

We talked about how we were going to make our relationship better this time. It truly felt like we were going to be alright this time.

We had a plan this time and for the first time in a long time, we were actually communicating with each other, listening to each other.

I even began to wonder if I had misunderstood what God was trying to tell me about our relationship.

Nevertheless, our relationship got to a point where we were breaking up every other month. This went on for about two years.

Every night I would pray that our relationship would take a turn for the better. Until finally I prayed a different prayer…

This time I asked God to forgive me for going against His better judgement, for being so disobedient,  and for not trusting Him with my heart.

You see, all of my headaches, heartaches, and tears could have been avoided IF I was fully prepared for what I was praying for.

What is it that you want God to reveal? Are you going to trust Him even if the answer is not the one you want? I pray that you will.

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6 COMMENTS

  1. I feel like I’m in a similar, yet opposite situation. My girlfriend found someone else and it looks like they may end up getting married and everything. Even though my heart aches to be with her, logic says I need to let her go because she’s moving on. But, I’ve prayed more than a couple times that God would show me if I need to move on and to help me to do so or that He give me some sign that I should wait for her. I have received what I feel are signs from God telling me to wait. Ironically, even though I really want our relationship restored, I find it so hard to accept that God would want me to wait for someone who has moved on and is living their life with someone else. To be honest, it feels cruel that she gets to be happy and I have to sit alone, seeing her live her life with him, knowing he is doing all the things we did and that he has “my place”. I know faith doesn’t always make sense and that God wants good for us, but it’s really hard to hold onto those things in times like these.

  2. I recently lost someone in my life, but I knew deep down it wasn’t what God wanted for me. But I also learned so much from the relationship, like not to settle just because you don’t want to be alone, and that I’m not actually ok with someone who I have to constantly cook for and clean up after (I used to think it wasn’t a big deal because I was doing it anyway), or that loving someone doesn’t mean they will ever come around to love you, some people are takers and will never change, and don’t want to change. I mean, I learned many lessons. I learned what I do not want, I learned that if relationships are THAT hard then there is something wrong, that a relationship should not be a daily battle, that I am capable of feeling resentment. That you cannot fix an emotionally and verbally abusive person. I mean just endless issues. Of course I have many issues myself, but the difference between me and him was that I am willing to work on my flaws to be a better person, to say sorry, to compromise for a relationships sake. But when you don’t have someone willing to do the same, it.is.over. and it probably never really began. And yet I still miss him, I still miss the good times. I still hope he would be willing to work on himself so we can make it work. But I know that will never happen.

    • Wow. You sound like me. My first relationship post divorce she seemed so nice at the beginning. Her dad died and I thought the changes were due to that so I kept being supportive and caring no matter what. I eventually figured out she had been hiding alcoholism from me and that nothing I did was ever going to be good enough. Looking back, I was so uneasy throughout the relationship. Something never quite seemed right and I couldn’t figure out why at the time. I did things for her and it was never appreciated all that much after the first few months. Her true colors had come out and she revealed herself to be a taker. She would actually yell and me and criticize me for doing by dead level best to please her. The lessons I learned hurt. They were especially hurtful when she started a fight one night and made it seem like it was my fault we were breaking up and then I found out a couple weeks later the fight had occurred after she had cheated on me. So God really made sure the lessons I needed to learn about boundaries and standing up for myself stuck and that I would abandon all misguided hope of ever reconciling because after that, I can’t ever trust her again. We no longer speak and never will again. I will continue to pray for her because I don’t want her to kill herself with alcohol, but I am not going to ever put myself in a position to be used and abused again. I will not accept apologizing when the other person makes excuses and never does. I will not accept being with someone that refuses to love me back in the way I am loving them. It still hurts from time to time, sometimes badly, but the lessons learned will make the pain worth it and, God willing, give me something I can give to a deserving woman down the road.

  3. Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience and for giving godly advice. I was once engaged to my ex who claimed to be a “devoted christian” for 1 year and half. He seemed so perfect (handsome, charming, tall, attractive, church goer and family orientated,etc). I thought that God finally sent my “Mr Right”into my life. I was so happy coz At the beginning things were going just fine until the red flags started to fly all over the place. I was so stupid to ignore them. I wud give excuses for his bad behaviour or dismissi the red flags. He cheated on me muiltiple times. He was a sex and porn addict and been to jail several times for sexual assualt and domestic violence. But i was just trying to make things work out and change him to be a better person 😔😖 I prayed every single day that God would change him and his bad habits and addictions before we say “I DO”. But no answers. We broke up about 5 or 6 times and i still had hopes that God would make it work. One year later i travelled to Europe to visit my family while he was in the States working. That day that i stepped in to that airplane i never saw him again. God removed him from my life for good after finding out that he was sleeping around with prostitutes. And i also found out he was on some illegal drugs and had schizophrenia. He lost his job, house, car everything… That day was probably one of the worse days of my life. He was very aggressive, unstable and crazy. I swear, if i was there with him at the time during his episodes he would probably beat me to death. His entire family told me they were glad i was not around… But yeah, we broke up for good. A year later i moved back to the states and move on with my life. It was hard to let it go coz i was very attached to him but one thing ive learned is that God’s will is the safest place for His children. He has our best interest at heart no matter where He leads. Peace be with yall! ☺❤

  4. This same exact thing happened to me. I was dating this guy for about 6 months, I had fallen in love with him, but something just wasn’t right and I couldn’t put my finger on it. So on Sunday night (I remember it like it was yesterday) I prayed to God that if he is not the man for me, reveal him to me. I swear to you, the very next day, on a Monday afternoon, I found out he was married and had been married for 11 years. I was crushed! God works fast for His children.

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