Christian Singles

Ladies, Only God Can Change Him!

christian dating

Sometimes we come across someone who we find incredibly amazing. He meets several, if not exceeds the expectations we had for a mate. As the relationship flourishes, we begin to explore great things, great dates but also discover each other.

This includes the good, the bad and sometimes the ugly. We discover that not only is he not perfect, I mean, who is? But we discover that he too has struggles with his spiritual life.

Commonly as the nurturing human beings that we are, we want to help him, fix him, and make him appear perfect so that we can justify the relationship and his shortcomings.

However, as women, but most importantly, as Christian women, we have to know when we have to hand over the torch to the only person who can “fix” him.The only person who can cleanse him of all the hurt he has experienced, to renew his faith in himself, in love and in God. We have to pass the torch to God. We have to let the creator do His work in him, so that he can be prepared to lead our home, our children and our marriage.

But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3)

Ladies, although it hurts to leave and to feel like we are giving up, it is in fact the very opposite. We are giving God the space He needs to work in that possible mate.

You see, we can’t do what God can do. God has to work with Him to perfect Him.

He will teach that man to seek a relationship with Him before seeking a relationship with a woman.

God will teach Him self love and about the love that God has for him before that man can know how to offer love to a woman.

God will also humble him by showing him where he came from but also teaching him how to never go back to that place.

He will show that man how to come to his knees in times of trial and victory, so that he doesn’t run to the lusts of the world.

He will teach that man discipline, character and prepare him for battle.

One of the biggest lessons I learned from a recent break up was that I was being a distraction instead of help. I was expecting to be able to do it on my own and fix this man.

I was sharing the Word with him, praying with and for him, and being there for him. But the thing I failed to realize was that it wasn’t my job to change him. I couldn’t do it. I had done all I could. I had only been getting in the way of his breakthrough instead of letting him seek God directly. I was also doing it to selfishly fulfill my own agenda of fixing him for me, instead of letting God fix him for His own good.

But God spoke volumes and through the things He allows. He allowed me to finally realize that I was more in the way than helping. I remember several times at the altar praying to God that if I needed to be removed from his life, to give me the courage and counsel to do so. And although things didn’t happen smoothly, it finally happened. We are no longer speaking, but I know it is in God’s will. I know that it was the only way I would be able to distance myself from him and let him get closer to God.

Ladies, if you have gone through something similar, trust in God’s power to perfect that man. And most importantly trust in God’s will that if that man is for you, he will bring him back to you ready for what he has purposed the both of you.

In the meantime, let’s use this time to seek God, his peace, his guidance and his strength.

137 Comments

137 Comments

  1. Nita

    July 8, 2017 at 11:01 pm

    I am going through this exact same thing. After an amazing year, our beautiful relationship has ended. Not merely on my own terms, but because God told me to let go and let God. We made plans to get married and etc. I also unknowingly selfishly saw bits of brokeness in him and I would just pray for him and give scriptures and move on not realizing that it was satisfying my own desire. I understand now. My heart broke after he said that he needed a break after we hit a year. But only God can fix what is broken. What is meant for you, God will bring it back, stronger and rooted. I know My ex is for me and is my husband because God told me. So during this seperation, my focus is on God and building a stronger relationship. I feel like a totally different person now. I find my self being more humble and happy not because of the promise of him returning but because Im truly following God, and living a God filled life with no distractions. Im a wife now, not just a girlfriend. That is my mentality. I also did counseling at my church and it helped me tremendiously. Trust his timing! If it is in Gods will, it will happen. Have faith, trust Gods process and timing! and keep praying! he hears your prayers!

  2. Je Villegas Remegoso Ocon

    March 26, 2017 at 1:29 pm

    Amen

  3. Shirley-Ann Mc Sween

    March 25, 2017 at 1:44 am

    I am going through this right now I want my man to leave me alone but he does not want to leave I am getting depressed I think

  4. Luisa Mercedes

    March 23, 2017 at 7:34 pm

    Wow God is good since early this morning God been talking to me in so many way. In my way home i was talking to God about my espiritual life i was telling him to let me seek him no matter what I’m going through

  5. Karo Taita Oa

    March 23, 2017 at 9:42 am

    Amen

  6. Karo Taita Oa

    March 23, 2017 at 9:41 am

    Amen

  7. Patricia Overton

    March 23, 2017 at 9:03 am

    ####That’s it

  8. Lindy Margaret

    March 23, 2017 at 6:55 am

    TRUE GOD CHANGES THE impossible POWER OF PRAY AMEN!!!

  9. Galase MaryJane

    March 23, 2017 at 5:19 am

    Amen

  10. Connie Mendoza

    March 23, 2017 at 3:14 am

    I lifted up to you my Lord everything what’s going on right now in my life,I know you are doing something that is best for me so I am trying my best to be strong and have faith ,trust in You .i praise and thank you Lord Amen

  11. Vickie Queenvfb

    March 23, 2017 at 2:07 am

    Amen……so true

  12. Lisa Vincent Scirica

    March 23, 2017 at 2:01 am

    Great article and so true !! Thanks for sharing

  13. Cindy Hull

    March 23, 2017 at 1:56 am

    Yes i love myself . I deserve the best

  14. Denese N Rocky Snyder

    March 23, 2017 at 1:49 am

    Jackie Detling

  15. Arlene Rosario-Diaz

    March 22, 2017 at 11:15 pm

    True that you feel like it’s the hard thing to,But you do its not bad all .it feel so good a big left from our shoulders a whole entire body that life looks brighter and it’s all you my father got and I think you for it continue using me and moving forward

  16. Sandra Violet

    March 22, 2017 at 9:01 pm

    True.

  17. Audrey Martin

    March 22, 2017 at 7:52 pm

    True statement…

  18. Ngoza Nsunge

    March 22, 2017 at 7:19 pm

    Amen and He communicate too. God give me all the answers to my stress and question. Am grateful to Him.

  19. Patrice Perkins

    March 22, 2017 at 7:01 pm

    Teresa Reese Fleming Barbour

  20. Brenda Masinga

    March 22, 2017 at 6:38 pm

    Amen..Only God can do that

  21. Marianne Georges

    March 22, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    Ivonna Dezeba

  22. Amber Ann Wines

    March 22, 2017 at 4:44 pm

    Chrissy Williams

  23. Monique Nicholson

    March 22, 2017 at 4:21 pm

    Amen

  24. Brenda Slaughter

    March 22, 2017 at 3:42 pm

    True

  25. Nicola Matanga

    March 22, 2017 at 2:37 pm

    this is very true and I wish more people come to this realisation sooner than later! We need to pray for this to happen and pray for peace and patience in ourselves as God works on our spouse. But above all have faith that He will answer the prayers to change spouse!

  26. Dorothy English

    March 22, 2017 at 2:28 pm

    Thank you. I receive your words of wisdom and edification.

  27. Doris Stephenson

    March 22, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    Amen

  28. Awurabena Sekyi

    March 22, 2017 at 2:18 pm

    Amen!

  29. Awurabena Sekyi

    March 22, 2017 at 2:18 pm

    Yes! you so right. Thank you and God bless you. I trust God’s will that if this man is mine He will bring him back to me after He has worked on him.

  30. Jeanette Mabogo

    March 22, 2017 at 1:53 pm

    Amen

  31. Amy Hunt

    March 22, 2017 at 1:13 pm

    AMEN!!

  32. Claire Hope Rwendeire

    March 22, 2017 at 12:54 pm

    So true

  33. Sandy Arnold

    March 22, 2017 at 12:25 pm

    Amen!!

  34. Lerato Mangena

    March 22, 2017 at 11:37 am

    Amen

  35. Beth Pergola Robinson

    March 22, 2017 at 11:08 am

    Jenny Bamberg

  36. Senwelo Shirley Nyoni

    March 22, 2017 at 10:32 am

    Thank you I needed this. GOD Please take over

  37. Icel Ureta-Ragudo

    March 22, 2017 at 9:58 am

    Aleinie Ong Sison

  38. Tawny Summers

    March 22, 2017 at 9:56 am

    Amen, love this article!

  39. Naiga Prossie

    March 22, 2017 at 9:49 am

    Its true dia & i like dat, its only God who changes his people

  40. Mercy Meci

    March 22, 2017 at 9:31 am

    God will intervene!

  41. Cora Klein

    March 22, 2017 at 8:45 am

    Patty Hulsman ♥

  42. Sianeh Dongbo Swaray

    March 22, 2017 at 8:40 am

    Amen, that’s just it

  43. Terry Daley

    March 22, 2017 at 8:21 am

    Thank you Father I only stayed strong because of you I will always give you the praise and the glory thank you for your grace and mercy Amen

  44. Misa Hunter

    March 22, 2017 at 8:13 am

    Amen

  45. Malinda Lane Baldwin

    March 22, 2017 at 8:02 am

    LOVE this!

  46. Priscilla Diyetsiso

    March 22, 2017 at 7:33 am

    True

  47. Lucia Ah-Ching Tuima

    March 22, 2017 at 7:30 am

    Taujayjul Ah-Ching

    • Taujayjul Ah-Ching

      March 22, 2017 at 9:56 pm

      Yes Lord please change him now b4 I kill him…😜😜😜 (jokes) Lord let ur will be done in his life…

    • Lucia Ah-Ching Tuima

      March 22, 2017 at 9:57 pm

    • Lucia Ah-Ching Tuima

      March 22, 2017 at 9:58 pm

      keep praying for each other sis god will never fail us, be still nd know that he is god xxo

    • Taujayjul Ah-Ching

      March 23, 2017 at 6:30 am

      Hardout aye sis..Yeah God’s been working wonder’s in my family, always..He will never leave or forsake us..living wittiness to that..AMEN.

  48. Josephine Tusiime Jossy

    March 22, 2017 at 7:20 am

    true

  49. Irene Peace

    March 22, 2017 at 6:59 am

    Tru

  50. MissIam Shawn

    March 22, 2017 at 6:56 am

    Wow…amen. Yes Lord, I hear you. Amen.

  51. Praxi Camiros

    March 22, 2017 at 6:02 am

    Amen true

  52. LaRita Robinson

    March 22, 2017 at 5:54 am

    Amen

  53. LaVerne Richardson

    March 22, 2017 at 5:52 am

    Amen !!

  54. Gigi Bowen

    March 22, 2017 at 5:46 am

    Can I do it

  55. Seipati Lebabo

    March 22, 2017 at 5:42 am

    This is what I wish for my ex’s… especially the current one;but i dont honestly wish them to change for me

  56. Che Frias

    March 22, 2017 at 5:39 am

    Zeke Selga Sandra De Guzman

  57. Virginia Chaves

    March 22, 2017 at 5:37 am

    Why would you try to change someone? You should love someone for who they are. If it’s not working, they aren’t for you

  58. Anointed Destiny Roberts

    March 22, 2017 at 5:36 am

    Exactly

  59. Karen Mahati

    March 22, 2017 at 4:57 am

    Amen…. I needed to hear this.

  60. Edith Zambwe

    March 22, 2017 at 4:50 am

    Let your will be done might God

  61. Karen Patterson Pulido

    March 22, 2017 at 4:47 am

    Katia

  62. Hannahyuuki Ingatan

    March 22, 2017 at 4:36 am

    Maira Visitacion

  63. Maria G. Medina

    March 22, 2017 at 4:36 am

    Sunshine Alfaro………..

  64. Rizza Jane

    March 22, 2017 at 4:27 am

    Rose Salviejo

  65. Nikki Tolliver

    March 22, 2017 at 4:26 am

    Courtney Leach Megan Shepherd

  66. Dorothy Henderson

    March 22, 2017 at 4:04 am

    So true

  67. Tshego Nonosi Sekgweleo

    March 22, 2017 at 4:01 am

    Amen….just what I needed

  68. Pepper Gutierrez

    March 22, 2017 at 3:57 am

    Amen

  69. Shannon Lee

    March 22, 2017 at 3:54 am

    Wow! God speaks yet again. This is EXACTLY what I’m enduring this very moment. It’s so utterly amazing how an article like this will appear at the precise moment I need to see it. Thank you God for speaking through this author. Amen!

  70. Trishawn Foye

    March 22, 2017 at 3:50 am

    AMEN

  71. Kamina Nebie

    March 22, 2017 at 3:47 am

    Umubyeyi Leontine

  72. Shaunta Nedd

    March 22, 2017 at 3:44 am

    Amen!!!! I have tried to help him and get him on track to get his self together to take care of both of us, but ended up not being able to care for my needs and losing my happiness instead. It’s time I take care of myself again and let GOD work on him into growing into a Man

  73. Paula Ford

    March 22, 2017 at 3:38 am

    Amen! Give him to God and leave him alone so God can work!

  74. Gabriela Cortes

    March 22, 2017 at 3:37 am

    Marla Cortes Ortega exactly the advice you gave me awhilw back! Thank you!

  75. Rose Meadors

    March 22, 2017 at 3:33 am

    Amen, For Sure!!

  76. Anna Belen

    March 22, 2017 at 3:28 am

    Melissa Lopez

  77. Miriam Reyes

    March 22, 2017 at 3:26 am

    So I should distance myself and leave in order to allow God to work in my husband’s life? Struggling with this very battle right now.

  78. Irene Msimbo

    March 22, 2017 at 3:26 am

    I, my man; my relationship. .pure living proof of this…we even broke up for two years…we didnt even speak much .at some point before we broke up he said my problem was that i was too prayerful kkkk. Now he is an evangelist. I had to completely let go and be open to God’s choice. I then began to pray for my would-be husband according to God’s will. He is so transformed sometimes i feel like i am the one who is weaker in prayer. He is really giving me a run for my money as i try and keep up with his prayer life…i thought at some point he might back slide but it has been a few years now and God has truly transformed him…praise be to God.

  79. Jane Freddie

    March 22, 2017 at 3:19 am

    True

  80. Jessie Kor

    March 22, 2017 at 3:09 am

    U r so right. God is sovereign.

  81. Christina Riley

    March 22, 2017 at 3:09 am

    Amen

  82. Nikki Clark

    March 22, 2017 at 3:05 am

    Brooke Coleman I love our talks ❤ miss you friend.

  83. Darcell Klesper

    March 22, 2017 at 2:57 am

    Amen Amen Amen. I really needed this. Thank you

  84. Diann Bond

    March 22, 2017 at 2:48 am

    Dani Early
    Kristin Susanne Wycoff

  85. Le'Trell M Davis

    March 22, 2017 at 2:45 am

    That’s right

  86. Kyla Fernandez

    March 22, 2017 at 2:34 am

    Amen

  87. Dee Young

    March 22, 2017 at 2:26 am

    AMEN

  88. Laura Randolph

    March 22, 2017 at 2:24 am

    amen

  89. Emily Durrill

    March 22, 2017 at 2:23 am

    BonnieJo Hayworth DeBates

  90. Marnie Jones

    March 22, 2017 at 2:22 am

    Amen!!! This was and is my prayer as well for the guy I was just dating. Praying that God stirs in his heart and draws him closer to Him in obedience….that God would do incredible miraculous things in him. He’s truly an amazing man who I fell so incredibly hard for, but I am trusting in the Lord and His plan. Regardless of whether or not I am in the picture or ever brought back into his life, I pray for and lift him up to the Lord, knowing and trusting that God will do big things in and through him.

    • Marnie Jones

      March 22, 2017 at 2:25 am

      I had seen this quote many times but have been resonating with it a lot lately. “Ladies, let God make a man out of him, before you try to make a husband out of him.”

    • Emmanuel OR

      March 22, 2017 at 2:58 am

      Devinda Gunasekara has been changed 🙏🏾

  91. Cindy Martinez

    March 22, 2017 at 2:21 am

    Thank you!

  92. Mary Peterson

    March 22, 2017 at 2:17 am

    Amen Hallelujah

  93. Ellah Reu Cabaya

    March 22, 2017 at 2:15 am

    Agree..Amen

  94. Breana Redmond

    March 22, 2017 at 2:07 am

    Yup and vice versa.

    Same goes for (potential) friendships, only God can change them.

  95. Tsina Venz

    March 22, 2017 at 2:04 am

    Teresa Cristina

  96. Judi Klaus

    March 22, 2017 at 1:59 am

    Amen. Been trying to do that, my entire life. Now, letting God change my unsaved husband. Not my job any longer. My job is to work on me, with God leading me forward.

  97. Lanell Love

    March 22, 2017 at 1:58 am

    Amen

  98. Shameeka Wilson

    March 22, 2017 at 1:58 am

    Amen

  99. Rose Bennett

    March 22, 2017 at 1:58 am

    Alexis Rae Bryant

  100. Tammy Chamberlain

    March 22, 2017 at 1:56 am

    Montana Olier

  101. Natasha Fisher

    March 22, 2017 at 1:47 am

    Amen

  102. Krystle L Poole

    March 22, 2017 at 1:47 am

    Amen. Great Word for all the single ladies as well as married. Before I got married my previous relationships consisted of me trying to be savior woman and in trying to help lead them closer to the Lord I almost lost my soul. I left those relationships broken and bruised which led me into a hasty marriage that died but thanks be to God was resurrected with the true life and love and breath of God, founded on His Word and led by His Spirit. I had to get out of the way and TRUST God to be who He said He was and do what He thought best for me and my husband. Lesson hard learned but His grace (undeserved favor and ability) saw us through. Trust God. He knows what we need and how to get it to us. When He says “no”, obey that! He knows what He is doing. His “yes”, “no” and “not yet” are blessings. We must trust Him.

    • Darcell Klesper

      March 22, 2017 at 2:56 am

      Same here. I was just toiling over the relationship right before I read this. I really needed this message. God is so good, comforting, and nourishing. You’re right, we must trust Him. There’s no room to do otherwise. Disobedience can destroy us

    • Krystle L Poole

      March 22, 2017 at 3:08 am

      Darcell Klesper I went through deep oppression for years and never thought the day would come where I would thank God for saying no or thank the man for walking away but that day came and it is still a blessing today. I won’t encourage you not to toil over it because that mourning process is inevitable but I do encourage you not to let that toil go beyond it’s expiration date. I pray healing and peace over your spirit soul and body. Total wholeness. Nothing missing, nothing broken, no lack in Jesus’ name.

  103. Charity Onyinyechi

    March 22, 2017 at 1:46 am

    Sure

  104. Pam Gallant

    March 22, 2017 at 1:43 am

    Agree

  105. Sandra Blanton

    March 22, 2017 at 1:42 am

    Amen

  106. Menecia Richter

    March 22, 2017 at 1:41 am

    Yes

  107. Niema Erving

    March 22, 2017 at 1:41 am

    THIS BLOG IS SUCH A BLESSING !!!!! MY GOD!!

  108. Susan Elisabeth

    March 22, 2017 at 1:37 am

    Pamela Cage

  109. Hope Rena Funderburk

    March 22, 2017 at 1:36 am

    Amen..so true

  110. Joyce Barnett

    March 22, 2017 at 1:35 am

    Amen in Jesus name.

  111. Louisa Covarrubias-hernandez

    March 22, 2017 at 1:34 am

    Waitn LORD

  112. Tracey YG

    March 22, 2017 at 1:31 am

  113. Eva Nkem

    September 30, 2016 at 12:48 am

    This was me sometime ago but now I know better. There is nothing as beautiful as God’s gift to you.

  114. TT

    September 27, 2016 at 10:37 pm

    Thus is exactly what I needed to hear

  115. Vonetta Carey

    September 22, 2016 at 9:11 pm

    This is so true. Really resonates with me. I am letting go and letting God. It is not easy, but I know God’s will is best and I trust Him.

  116. Michelle

    September 22, 2016 at 8:53 pm

    Exactly what I needed to hear tonight! Stepping back and letting God have the lead is so difficult especially when it involves someone you love. I am learning everyday to do this, but man it can be torture sometimes.

    • Vonetta Carey

      September 22, 2016 at 9:13 pm

      I so agree with you. Not easy when you love someone and you want to be with them. But it is truly an act of love to let go and allow that person to receive all that God has for them.

  117. ddd

    September 22, 2016 at 7:24 am

    Reading this story reminds me of my struggle with my ex (children’s father). I saw the potential in him and I stayed and prayed (probably could’ve prayed harder) but I couldn’t get through to him. I couldn’t get him to love me like I loved him nor could I get him to be a man/father the way I though he should have. We were in a very long semi toxic relationship but I loved him so much that I didn’t want to give up on him for him, the kids and me. I finally gave in and had to let go for good (only I thought I was giving him up for the time that God needed to work on him) We were going through counseling with our pastor and all before I decided to leave… he seemed to be moving further and further away from me so I didn’t know what else to do. I remember saying to myself “maybe I’m in his way”. He got into a new relationship while still randomly saying things to me to make me feel like he still loved me and once (more than once) came to me and I allowed myself to fall in the trap. He made it seem as though he wanted his family back and when I thought about it and said that’s what I wanted he told me that he couldn’t. This crushed me and I have not been the same ever since. Now he has accomplished so many things and I’m questioning whether I should have let go in the beginning. I have been nothing but sad since I broke it off yet I was miserable in the relationship. So I feel I left for God to do his work on him and he has but I guess he wasn’t the man that God had for me because he has moved on with a new family. Meanwhile I’m STILL falling apart but I’m still faithful that all of this I’m going through will mold me for that perfect mate that God made for me.

    • Amelia

      September 22, 2016 at 8:56 am

      I share in your pain, but I also know that the God we serve has perfect timing and a perfect will. Stay faithful 🙂

      • dee

        September 22, 2016 at 12:33 pm

        Thank you! I’m trying the best I can. Reading and journaling helps a little. I question “when will it be my turn?” all the time knowing that I have to trust his plan. I say…everything coming to me must be pretty amazing because I have held on and been prayerful and have been trying my best for these last 4 years of singleness, “single momness” and lonliness. He is going to blow my mind with greatness!

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