When Expectations Only Lead to Disappointment

when others let you down

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Expectations… We all have them.

We expect the people we love to be loyal.
The people we do business with to be honest.
Our children to be obedient.
Our spouses to be faithful.
Our siblings to be supportive and our parents to be loving.

This list can go on and on forever. But here’s the truth about expectations: we don’t normally get what we expect.

People lie, they cheat, they’re dishonest, they’re unfaithful, and they’re everything we didn’t expect them to be.

While it is a natural human instinct to desire great expectations of others, especially our families, the truth is that we live in an imperfect world which consist of imperfect people, ourselves included.

Yes…people have failed us, but we also fail ourselves. I know I have and more than just once. We set a goal…but we never even attempt, we make promises that we don’t keep, but yet we always expect loyalty from others.

No matter where it’s coming from failed expectations can be very painful and something very difficult to overcome. When not addressed properly it can be the cause of some of our greatest roadblocks in our progression. We can find ourselves overthinking a situation stuck in a maze of “why’s“.

In this state, we all have at least two options: we can continue to overthink and create stagnation in our lives or we accept what has happened and move beyond it. The choice is your’s alone to make.

There was a time in my life where I was constantly consumed by “why’s?” and overthinking a situation as a result of unmet expectations. I was asking the wrong questions and going nowhere. I put my dreams and goals on hold and aside from living a routine life, my time and energy was spent feeling sorry for myself.  I was living in a “woe is me” mentality with no desire to grow or progress. Today, I can confidently admit that I am slowly embracing a life where I am accepting the things I can not change.

At this point of your reading you’ve probably asked: “So, what is it that you’ve accepted?” Well here it is:

I’ve accepted the reality of what is and how a situation is presented before me.

I’ve accepted the fact that I don’t have control over others (or how they treat me).

I’ve learned to practice self-control, not people control.

Please don’t get me wrong: we all should desire to feel appreciated, respected, and loved. In fact, it is a desire that God created within each and every one of us. But I’ve learned that the human race cannot always promise us those things that we earnestly desire.

So in the alternative, I’ve learned to accept. I’ve accepted the truth that we have all have fallen short.

Let me clarify that acceptance doesn’t make the situation right and it certainly doesn’t make the person right, but it positions us to a place where we can surrender completely to God. True acceptance allows us to experience the power of total surrender to the peace that surpasses understanding that will guide our minds and hearts in Christ Jesus. I value the peace that Jesus offers me and I’ve realized it is my responsibility to maintain it. Today I have chosen to do that by accepting everything that I can’t control. I surrender my expectations to my Heavenly Father trusting that He will make all things work together for my good and His Glory.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Sandy Bastien

Sandy Bastien

Sandy teaches women entrepreneurs how to translate their God-given gifts, talents and abilities into work that service people and honor God's Kingdom.
Sandy Bastien


  1. Annet Naki

    April 18, 2017 at 5:14 pm


  2. Noble Stellamaris

    April 17, 2017 at 7:12 pm


  3. Ketty Mtika

    April 15, 2017 at 3:47 pm


  4. Theresa Nyirongo

    April 14, 2017 at 5:19 pm


  5. Princess Dusk

    April 14, 2017 at 2:55 pm

    I really need this right now… I’m so tired being a people pleaser…

  6. Paritra Madhow-Aubrun

    April 14, 2017 at 12:30 pm


  7. Thobeka Sikgakgane

    April 14, 2017 at 9:07 am

    Amen.pray heals all.I will run to the Lord for ny help comes from him

  8. Michael Tweneboah

    April 14, 2017 at 8:43 am

    Lord,Let it rise again to your glory!!

  9. Jiri Kakki

    April 14, 2017 at 7:26 am


  10. Christina Caul-Jackson

    April 14, 2017 at 4:19 am


  11. Valerie Dearborn

    April 14, 2017 at 12:55 am

    I have a friend who needs prayer for this God knows. AMEN!

  12. Annabel Sivai Leo

    April 13, 2017 at 11:51 pm


  13. Ellah Reu Cabaya

    April 13, 2017 at 11:47 pm


  14. Velda Blanton

    April 13, 2017 at 11:40 pm


  15. Krung-krung Park Seon

    April 13, 2017 at 11:40 pm


  16. Janice Hall

    April 13, 2017 at 11:18 pm


  17. Terry Daley

    April 13, 2017 at 11:15 pm

    Lord I know you got me glory thank you Jesus Amen

  18. Mere Momo

    April 13, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    Amen and Amen!

  19. Tony Jackson Osondu

    April 13, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    Oh LORD l need U every moment of my life

  20. Rose Westgarth

    April 13, 2017 at 8:08 pm

    Lord I put them all on you, because my trust is in you

  21. Nompi Margaret

    April 13, 2017 at 8:04 pm


  22. Vida Williams

    April 13, 2017 at 7:38 pm


  23. Linda Dean

    April 13, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    Amen!!! God Is Always In Control!!!

  24. Joanna L Kearns

    April 13, 2017 at 6:55 pm


  25. Evelyn Ayeltige

    April 13, 2017 at 6:49 pm

    Amen ….!

  26. Colman Mawuju

    April 13, 2017 at 6:39 pm


  27. Jackie Tyrell

    April 13, 2017 at 6:36 pm

    Yes yes yes

  28. Manda Lee

    April 13, 2017 at 6:25 pm


  29. Pearl Ellison

    April 13, 2017 at 6:12 pm


  30. Claressa Mongae

    April 13, 2017 at 5:59 pm


  31. Tintswalo Bihlo Molaudzi Nyabane

    April 13, 2017 at 5:44 pm


  32. Lisa Crump

    April 13, 2017 at 5:36 pm

    Hallelujah Lord I give it to you

  33. Diane Mahome Oliver

    April 13, 2017 at 5:35 pm


  34. Dee Young

    April 13, 2017 at 5:35 pm


  35. Peggy Baloyi

    April 13, 2017 at 5:34 pm

    Yes oh God give me strength to rise again to my fall, all I need is you lord

  36. Lizie Nyirendah

    April 13, 2017 at 5:24 pm


  37. Wilberforce K Ndejjo

    April 13, 2017 at 5:22 pm


  38. Mamosiuoa Leokaoke

    April 13, 2017 at 5:14 pm


  39. Mary Kahoro

    April 13, 2017 at 5:10 pm


  40. Sonya Alexander

    April 13, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    Thank you it’s helpful, but raw.

  41. Natasha Maka

    April 13, 2017 at 4:48 pm


  42. Yhan Setien Nietes

    April 13, 2017 at 4:46 pm


  43. Wanjugu Jenny

    April 13, 2017 at 4:39 pm


  44. Maria Eckert Humphreys

    April 13, 2017 at 4:38 pm


  45. Robert N Shari BlueBack

    April 13, 2017 at 4:38 pm


  46. Mary Demmer

    April 13, 2017 at 4:36 pm

    Amen !

  47. Emelia Acheampong

    April 13, 2017 at 4:36 pm

    Yes and Amen

  48. Bobbie Galloway-Folie

    April 13, 2017 at 4:35 pm


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