Facebook now has a feature that allows you to look back at memories from past years; ‘On This Day’. Well today it reminded me of something.
I remembered an event that happened three years ago this week—one that changed the trajectory of my life and my eternity.
This was an event that shattered my world, broke my heart, so painful. It was an event that left me feeling so lost and so a lone. However, it’s also an event that started a beautiful walk with Christ— a journey which truly demonstrates how God turns everything to good for His glory.
It was this time, three years ago, I fell to my knees in tears from the pain inflicted by an individual I trusted, I loved, I gave my heart too. The father of my son. It was then in the midst of my sobbing, I prayed. And that what was the starting point of God saving me from an eternity in hell.
Looking back at that first experience of feeling God’s presence, I see how a seed planted by my best friend started to grow—This prayer thing she told me about, this savior that rescued her, the God that I knew existed but didn’t believe or know much about, was real.
I didn’t surrender my life to Him. Not yet. However, I was ready to learn more. As I continued to seek Him, I saw more. I saw that what He says in His word is true. I realized that His comfort and love are powerful. I felt him carrying me when I felt to weak, broken or depressed from what had happened. It’s unexplainable, but I felt Him with me.
Although it took months of being a part time, hour or two a week “Christian”—still wanting to do life my way— and lots of mistakes before I finally started to see that I couldn’t do it on my own, that I NEEDED Him, and realized I had to give up MY way and life for His, I surrendered. My life was not my own!
Sitting here, reflecting on who I was and where He’s put me now, fills my heart with so much joy! A situation that seemed gut wrenching at the time, is really a moment worthy of never ending praise! He used that situation to lead me closer to Him, which then lead me to surrender. A new life! An eternity in Heaven!
What I have learned over this time is that the Christian walk isn’t easy. Actually sometimes it seems like it’s harder because as much as I want and try to be, I’m not perfect. We aren’t perfect. I still stumble. We all will. Temptation is still there. Sin still exists.
The difference now is that I know who I’m living for, who I WANT to serve- want, not have to serve. I know that because God sent His son, I am forgiven for my past and future shortcomings. I know that while I do fall short of His perfection ( sometimes way way way short), it’s far less often and followed by a conviction I didn’t know before having a relationship with Him. I still worry, but now I know who to give those worries to. I don’t feel lost because I know He has a plan for me. The chains of bitterness are gone. I’m able to forgive in a way I never could before knowing Him.
Most of all, I know what and who to trust. I know that God is all I need. He is sovereign. He is gracious. He is merciful. He is my father. He is the judge. He is the creator. And, He loves me. He loves you. He loves us all. So much so that He sent his only son to save us.
So thank you Facebook for reminding me of how grateful I am for that day. Thank you for the reminder of how incredibly amazing God is!